Unless you’re faced with the awful reality of your shirt getting attacked by a chocolate ice cream cone or mustard missile and need to know the best way to wash it, STAT, most of us never bother taking a close look at the tags and labels inside our clothes.
Manufacturers seem to have noticed, and in an effort to amuse the few people who do read their labels, some companies have started to go well above and beyond your basic size, materials and care instructions on their clothing tags. The results are epic. Here are some clothing labels that are far too funny to ever cut out.
Denim is in, fur is out
Tiger tested, human approved.
Honest shirt
This shirt knows exactly who it is, and owns it. Do you, shirt. Do you.
Not for water sports
Is the garment itself just not good to swim in? Or will it actually make you a worse swimmer?
Lucky shirt
Show your date this awesome clothing tag and you’re pretty much guaranteed a second date.
Forever your shorts
If you can’t bungee jump or eat them, then what exactly is a college kid supposed to do with their Saturday night?
Caution: Hot
It’s a clothing label, and a warning label.
Bossy pants
They’re only 18 percent elastic, but these pants have some serious control issues. Don’t let your pants wear the pants.
Detailed instructions
This shirt wants you to embrace your wild side.
Don’t you dare
Don’t ever slap a panda. Unless he’s animated and knows Kung Fu. And even then, it’s probably best to walk away or offer him some bamboo.
Sumo shirt
You’ll get disqualified. It’s page 65, subsection A (3) of the official sumo rule book.
Small thoughts
This tag is an excellent example of the power of positive thinking.
Kangaroo poo
On second thought, we don’t want to know the story.
Are they pants?
Not pants? I always thought fashion had no rules.
Christmas Clothes
Can these please be the rules to live by all year long?
A recipe for delicious
This genius company knew a recipe for yummy salad dressing is one way to make sure the tag on your clothes will never get cut off.
Who are you wearing?
This is what happens when a designer is very, very excited to have their own clothing line.
Forward shirt
Sweater! Not in front of the kids!
For worst results
In case you were wondering …
Keep your shirt on
But seriously, there’s never a need for it. Don’t be that guy.
No eating after midnight
This is the shirt you wear to make sure your pet Gizmo doesn’t turn into a gremlin.
Made on earth
The wash/dry instructions for a shirt made on Mars would be way more complex.
You can dance
Yes, sure. Go on and dance if you want to. Just don’t leave your friends behind — no matter what the song says, it’s rude.
Wash it well
It may seem pretty pushy, but if this piece of clothing covers your bum, it does have a vested interest in seeing that the area’s well cleaned.
Zip with care
If you’ve seen There’s Something About Mary, then you know the danger is real.
Smarty pants
Who doesn’t want a pair of pants that makes them feel smart?
Funny pants
These pants just want to see you smile.
Oh Mooooom
Oh, no. No way. You know where the detergent is, kiddo. No, not that one. No — the blue one. Put it on cold, not warm! Argh, just give it to me.
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