This year I finally gave in to my tea snobbery and started ordering loose tea directly from London. My friends were aghast that I’d pay so much for a drink (until they tasted it), but it makes me happy, and it’s one thing I will absolutely treat myself to.
Too often, we find ourselves justifying or apologizing for how we splurge, either with our money or time, in order to treat ourselves or our families. We backtrack, hide or apologize for the things that make us happy because someone else might judge us for our financial decisions or how we allocate our time. As often as “me time” and “self-care” get thrown around the internet, too often we don’t take it to heart or we judge others for what they deem worthwhile in their own lives.
That’s why we decided to get honest about how we splurge on things and asked our Community what they unapologetically devote their time or money on, whether it be for themselves or their loved ones. Their answers were pretty awesome and gave us an idea or two along the way.
Mani-pedis
“I get manicures at a nail salon every week and pedicures every month (sometimes I’ll even splurge on a 10-min massage!) Can I do my own nails? Sure, but it’s my serenity; my relaxing time to be pampered. I’d save a few bucks by doing it myself or going less frequently, but I believe in the notion of treating yourself and in little pleasures that make us feel good about ourselves. It’s so much more than the act of having manicured nails; it’s a few moments of peace, quiet and relaxation — can’t put a price tag on that.” — Ali Arnone
Knitting with good yarn
“I refuse to knit with cheap yarn. I spend hours with the fiber running through my fingers, so I splurge on soft alpaca, merino and baby lama. That ‘cheap, homemade’ baby hat? It likely cost me $25 in yarn, not to mention the hours spent knitting. Don’t get me started on the cost of knitting a sweater or blanket! For me, knitting is as much about the process and the sensory experience of yarn in my hands as the finished product.” — Renee Bergeron
Personal training for my chronic injuries
“I will always defend spending thousands on personal training. I have a number of injuries and neuromuscular issues. When I wasn’t getting the results I wanted (simple things like being able to carry more than three pounds) from physical therapy, I went outside the health insurance system. I spent two months interviewing and doing intakes with trainers until I found one who specializes in people with chronic illnesses and injuries. It hurts to look at my credit card, but there’s no price tag I can put on no longer being in pain all day, every day or on having the knowledge to manage my pain on my own if I’m traveling.” — Kait Scalisi
Starbucks fix
“I am not sorry for spending $6 for my favorite drink from Starbucks. I am a work-at-home mom, and the occasional coffee run is all I get to do for me. While I can get a cheaper cup of coffee someplace else, I wouldn’t enjoy it nearly as much.” — Haley Bradley
Beauty pageants
“I started competing in pageants when I was in college, and I fell in love with the glitz and glamour of pageant week. With evening gowns and pageant coaching and travel expenses, I can easily spend $1,000 participating in a small pageant. So why do I do it? Wouldn’t my money be better spent paying off my student loans? Ah, but then there is walking onto the stage in a sequin gown with my hair and makeup professionally done, and you can’t get that feeling anywhere else. Too much of my life is spent in sweats, running errands. Say what you will, but I will cough up the money to spend a few days feeling like a queen.” — Ashley C
Fine foods
“I definitely splurge on a lot of things, and I don’t feel bad about it. The first is food. What is cool about food is that pretty much nothing is off limits, with the exception of truffles and vintage wine. I walk into the store and don’t look at prices. I load my cart with fresh produce and wild fish because it’s delicious and good for me. I also splurge on clothes, shoes and jewelry. I know it doesn’t make sense to a lot of people to spend four figures on a dress or a pair of shoes, but how many of those people have worn the same dress for five, six, even 10 years?” — Laura Dembowski
Writing workshops
“I don’t pay a therapist or have a gym membership. I don’t attend yoga or meditation classes. I don’t get manicures, pedicures, dye my hair or get tattoos, but I do pay thousands of dollars a year to go to writing workshops and retreats. Soon after I finished my undergraduate degree, I wanted to go back to school to get a master’s. At the time, I was a social worker and thought I would like to pursue a degree in marriage and family therapy. That dream swiftly changed to an MFA in poetry. Three years ago, I started a graduate degree to work toward that goal. For various reasons, I was disappointed with my program but not with my dream. I still wanted to write, and I still wanted to learn more about the craft. I had saved for years to go to graduate school, so instead of paying tuition to a school, I pay for a writing coach, retreats and conferences. I don’t ever plan to go back to university, but I plan to spend my money on my education in a less traditional way. For some people, a day at the spa or therapy helps them get through this beautiful mess we call life, but for me, it is writing — practicing the craft, reading great work and learning from women who can teach me new ways to express myself and clarify my emotions, experiences and memories. I have a love affair with stories, and I tell mine with words on a page instead of ink on my skin or an hour of talking to someone trained to listen.” — Rebecca Chamaa
$400+ a night on hotels
“I will defend spending $400+ a night on a luxury hotel room. I travel a lot. Sometimes mini-road trips and other inexpensive trips, but I like luxury trips, and I’m willing to spend more on them. In my defense, I don’t often get to go on a ‘real vacation.’ As a travel writer, I get sent on assignments to luxurious destinations, and often I don’t get to choose where I stay or for how long, and my schedule is filled with activities that can make for a hectic trip. When it is time for me to choose a spa or destination for a real vacation, well, I’m going to budget for something special. For me, vacations are special. So taking some time to budget for a special stay where I can pamper myself in luxury is not something I’m going to feel guilty about.” — Sharon Mendelaoui
Home décor
“I spent quite a bit of money on furniture for my place. Everyone thinks I’m crazy because the furniture that I had was fine. The way I see it, the stuff I had was getting old and tired — it was time for a pick-me-up. — Stephanie Dionne
Cutting and coloring my hair
“I spend about $200–$250 a month on my hair. This covers a visit to a really nice, upscale salon in my area for a cut and color every four weeks. My husband thinks I’m crazy, but hair is a major accessory you literally wear every day! I just feel better about myself if I have a nice haircut and good, quality color. Lately, I’m also finding I hate to blow dry my hair, so I’ll spend another $50 a month on a visit now and then to a blow dry bar. They wash and style it, and then I can go a few days — sometimes a week — without having to do a thing to it!! Having my hair in good shape just makes me feel better about myself, and it takes less time for me to care for it myself. Your hair is a part of your body — you go to the doctor, go to the dentist and go to get pedicures, so why not take great care of your hair without having gray roots or exposed dark roots, a bad cut, split ends, etc.?” — Jane Coloccia
Nail polish
“I am not sorry that I splurge on nail polish to do my own nails. I don’t have patience to go for a manicure, especially because I do so many dishes. So I spend time watching Instagram tutorials and make my own designs on my nails. I enjoy that I am saving money and that I am being creative. I wish more women would take the chance and try it so that they can save or splurge on something else.” — Eileen Carter-Campos
What I really want
“My husband is the spender in our relationship, and I am the saver. Rarely, when I feel like I really want something, like the new washer and dryer I bought two years ago when ours only halfway broke, or the crazy-expensive vacuum I had been lusting after for years, I spend whatever I want and don’t consult a soul. I almost always practice frugality, so when I want to splurge on something either for the home or myself, I do it. My husband has many expensive hobbies, and even though he’s the primary breadwinner, I feel like it is fair that whenever I want to spend, I do it. He joked once that I was “not allowed” to buy a new sewing machine, as mine made some very upsetting noises as I sewed, and I replied that if he said it again, I’d come home with two of the most expensive they had at the store. He was kidding, but I was absolutely serious. This also speaks to the idea that I trust my judgement entirely and almost never experience buyer’s remorse.” — Jenny Gomes
Fair Trade coffee
“I splurge on organic Fair Trade coffee. I do this because I prefer to support ethical farming practices and because I dump the coffee grounds in the local compost pile. Organic material is the most beneficial way to do this.” — Dana Gore
Ignoring my computer on my days off
“On my day off, I spend it doing whatever I want — as long as it does not include turning on my computer, since I work on the computer. If I want to spend time exploring my city, I do. If I want to spend the entire day in my dark room watching Netflix, I do. I do this for my mental clarity and sanity. I always have a lot on the go. My mind is always churning with ideas of what I can create next. But without rest, my mind is cluttered and I am unproductive.” — Nadia D. W.
Books and hours reading
“I’m an avid reader. My goal is four books a month, but I usually read six or maybe eight if it was a really stressful month. I have no idea how many hours I read a week, but I’ll say 15. I read in the bath, in the car, in bed —wherever I can find a few minutes to escape into another world. Maybe I should feel guilty about reading when I could be doing something productive like cleaning the house or knitting scarves for that Etsy shop I haven’t started yet. But I don’t feel guilty. I feel smart. I will take those 15 hours a week all for myself, and I will learn about the life of Alexander Hamilton and escape into a world where kids are forced to fight each other to the death. I will escape into books for 15 hours a week, and I will be a better person for it.” — Ashley C.
Spoiling my grandsons
“I spend an enormous amount on my three grandsons, to the point their mother said, “Do not buy them anything else.” In my defense, they are too cute to deny. One simple word (“Please!”) and I am done!” — Kathy Myers
Practicing mindfulness
“I spend most of my days (when I’m not working) practicing mindfulness activities and meditation. For example, doing yoga, taking hikes, playing sports, walking my puppy, doing my nails, meditating, having daily affirmations and blogging. The more I take care of my mind, body and soul, the better I feel and am able to function and be there for my husband, puppy, friends and family. There’s a misconception that doing anything for ourselves or making more ‘me’ time is selfish. But if you study the brain and mindfulness, you know that self-care is the first step to a happier and healthier you and life.” — Katie Carlson
Babysitters
“I’m not sorry that I splurge on babysitters for my kids. Our nanny cares for our kids while I work full time, and I often book sitters to help out in the evenings and on the weekends. I splurge on additional child care so I can nurture myself and the many facets of my life. Leaving my kids with a sitter allows me to take care of my own health and well-being and to focus on all the other roles I have in addition to being Mom. Having that time to myself allows me to be a better friend, partner, daughter and sister. It also gives me the opportunity to spend quality one-on-one time with one of my children, giving him or her my time and full attention while their siblings are well-cared for by a trusted sitter. My children cherish that time together as much as I do. It’s money well spent.” — Lynn Perkins
Sleeping
“I spend 8 or more hours a day sleeping. Earlier this year, I got sick. Like can’t-get-out-of-bed-or-eat-anything sick. First came the Crohn’s diagnosis. Then came an unrelated hand surgery. Then my eating disorder flared. One of the best self-care strategies through this all is getting enough sleep. On days when I don’t, not only am I cranky but my digestion is also messed up and eating become an incredible challenge. So now — sleep is #1. If I can’t get enough in overnight (or if it’s not quality sleep), I take naps. Lots and lots of naps — sometimes for 20 minutes and other times for hours. I spend all day, every day listening to my body: Does she need more food or less? Am I really hungry? Do I need to hustle or lay my ass down and nap?” — Kait Scalisi
Birthday gifts
“I splurge on gifts for my close friends and family. On Christmas and birthdays, I get a little carried away. My younger sister just turned 30, I didn’t think twice about the amount that I was spending. I did it because I love her. I do that for a lot of my friends as well. I feel like you should honor people while they are alive. I spend the money not because I’m expecting something back, but because I want to. It makes me happy to give someone else a gift.” — Kimberlee Stevenson
Vacations for my son
“I’m not sorry I splurge on exotic vacations for my 15-year-old son. Even though his grades are so-so and friends warn me against ‘rewarding’ him for mediocre performance, I feel that travel is off the table as a punishment. To me, it is just as important as classroom education; perhaps even more so.” — Marie Hickman
Red wine
“I will spend money on buying decent single malt whisky for my husband and buying good red wine. Life is too short to not enjoy everything, and my shroud won’t come with pockets!” — Tandy Sinclair
What women actually splurge on
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