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15 Horrifying and real OKCupid messages

I’ve dabbled on OKCupid, and the results were nothing short of mystifying.

I’ve received several requests to be a sugar baby, innumerable requests to hook up (answer: no) and one confusing message in which a dude asked, “So did you get serious about your faith before or after you got yourself knocked up?” I was divorced, dude, but thanks for bringing that up in small talk.

Most of the women I’ve talked to have similar stories. So without further ado, here is a compilation of the worst OKCupid messages imaginable. Raise your glass to love.

1. You don’t know me

Photo Credit: BetchesLoveThis

2. That shouldn’t be your lead

Photo Credit: Reddit Weekly

3. Nope, your bad intentions don’t arouse me

Photo Credit: Cosmopolitan

4. That response, though

Photo Credit: The Ladies of OKCupid

5. Things were going well until he brought up inches

Photo Credit: Tumblr

6. At least he listens to his conscience

Photo Credit: Tumblr

7. Leading with poop, closing with an insult

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

8. And you seem like an ass

Photo Credit: Business Insider

9. “Man-splaining” 101

Photo Credit: Tumblr

10. I’ll give you one guess

Photo Credit: Uproxx

11. You might need to confess to… anyone else

Photo Credit: We Hunted the Mammoth

12. Why, thank you

Photo Credit: Tumblr

13. What’s an evening stroke?

Photo Credit: PTSOTL

14. That sounds like a bad first date

Photo Credit: Tumblr

15. My guess is: Not very

Photo Credit: Tumblr

If these messages don’t get you all riled up and ready to jump into bed, I don’t know what will.

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