Who doesn’t get a kick out of a good dirty double entendre, if it’s in the right place at the right time? Yes, these sex jokes do skew a bit middle school, but hey, sometimes you need to feel like a kid again and take the pressure out of talking about sex.
To clarify, these seemingly innocent phrases that could mean something else are not meant to be pickup lines and they are not meant to be used when you’re first dating someone. We basically only advise saving these silly dirty jokes for your texts with a partner who has a quirky sense of humor and can’t dump you on the spot. The gifs are just too fun!
1. “He’s definitely thirsty tonight.”
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2. “That teabag was actually better the second time around.”
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3. “The landscapers are coming over today to trim the bush.”
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4. “Yes, my favorite animal is definitely the beaver.”
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5. “Wanna bone?”
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6. “A pearl necklace would look really nice on you.”
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7. “I was just really surprised by how big his package was.”
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8. “I love sausage.”
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9. “I wonder what happens to nuts in space.”
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10. “We were only riding for maybe five seconds before we were desperate to get off.”
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11. “We were banging all night.”
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12. “In an instant, she was dripping wet.”
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13. “Ever since she showed him what to do, he just loves tossing salad.”
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14. “I was expecting maybe four inches, but he gave me more like 12.”
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15. “The power of the thrust was really remarkable.”
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16. “He really needs to work on his ball handling.”
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17. “I tried everything but he just kept slipping out.”
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18. “I’m sure he’s tired; he spent all day on his knees.”
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19. “I was surprised by the sheer power of the sea men.”
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20. “She took his head in her hands and stroked it.”
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21. “He tried everything but just couldn’t get in.”
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22. “They’re constantly involved in one intercourse or another. It’s difficult to separate them for any length of time.”
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23. “Did you try blowing?”
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24. “I’m coming in two minutes.”
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If you’re done with innuendo for a minute, here’s some facts about orgasms that are explicitly dirty:
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