If your sig-o is living and breathing college basketball right now, and you’d rather be elsewhere, you’re not alone.
The good news is, we’re down to the Final Four; the bad news is, your weekend will likely be about nothing else. It’s not easy to explain my frustration with March Madness, especially to the people who embrace it so fervently. However, this new video — which ironically was made by a March Madness enthusiast — captures it pretty succinctly.
But there is something we can do to cope with this madness (see what I did there?), besides just grinning and bearing it. Here’s a list of ways to beat back the boys with basketballs and take back March (or at least the beginning of April).
1. Two words: Drinking game
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Every time your sig-o insists on watching a game, invite friends over to “watch,” and play a secret drinking game instead. The best ones have nothing to do with what’s actually going on in the game — for example, any time you see a movie star in the sidelines, you take a drink. Or any time guys in the room high five (this one may do you in though).
2. Play mind games
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During bracket choice discussions, offer a totally uneducated suggestion. If he takes it and wins, you’ll feel awesome knowing there’s no rhyme or reason behind any of the “strategy.” If he loses, well, March Madness just got a whole lot less interesting for him.
3. Activate distraction methods
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While he’s watching a game, go in the other room and put on great, loud porn. Then watch as his decision-making ability breaks down and his brain implodes.
4. Pull an Elle Woods to win him back from the madness
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If he’s playing b-ball in the park with friends, show up in a super-hot outfit and pull a Legally Blonde. Guaranteed to end the game pretty quickly, and the rest of the weekend will be yours.
5. Negociate
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One night of ball for one night of whatever you want. However, if you catch him checking scores during your time, it becomes two nights.
6. Have your own fun
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If all else fails, make game time naked time, but with strip club rules. Just go about your business, and if he touches you at all, game over/better game on.
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