There are all sorts of ways to have sex with all sorts of biological (and store-bought) equipment — and not all of them are about orgasms. That’s just a fact of life. But for many people vaginas (especially those who have sex with cis-men), having an orgasm when they do really want one can be a bit of a challenge. The infamous “orgasm gap” really does exist, says Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn (aka Dr. Tara), a sex and relationship coach, sex expert on TikTok, and professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. “Heterosexual women experience the least amount of orgasms,” she tells SheKnows, explaining that one of the main reasons for the gap is lack of arousal. “There’s a lack of foreplay, lack of mental stimulation, and lack of clitoral stimulation.”
That definitely doesn’t have to be the case, though — in fact, it shouldn’t be, sex coach Jenna Switzer tells SheKnows. “Vulva owners have an entire organ dedicated to experiencing sexual pleasure,” she says, but“historically, a penis owner’s pleasure has been the goal. We see this idea perpetuated in many ways, including through porn.”
Today, though, we’re here to empower you to take charge the next time you and your S.O. are in the bedroom with what experts have determined to be the five best sex positions for a guaranteed orgasm for vagina-owners. “Guarantee” is a big word and, of course, bodies are all different and orgasms are complicated and personal. How and what makes you orgasm “can vary from day to day based on physical, environmental, and energetic factors,” Switzer notes. Generally relaxing (tense muscles are orgasm kryptonite) and exploring your own body and sensitive spots are also helpful. But having a few go-to positions that grind and hit the right parts (clitoris! G-spot!) can do wonders, and make it a lot easier to coach your partner into getting you off. Depending on your tastes and the kind of stimulation that makes you happiest, these are positions that shouldn’t disappoint.
Click through to find out what these positions entail and exactly how to pull them off. You won’t regret it.
A version of this article was originally published in March 2016.
The Drop Box
One of the best positions for an orgasm is a saucy little number relationship coach and sex enhancement specialist Delilah Taylor likes to call The Drop Box.
Here’s how it works: The receiving partner lies on their back with their hips hanging off the bed. The penetrating partner stands on the floor in front of them, supporting their legs. Their penis or toy will enter the receiving partner in a natural upward motion, rubbing right along on their G-spot area.
The G-Whiz, aka Lifted MIssionary
Make the most out of sex and give yourself a practically guaranteed orgasm by experimenting with one or both variations of the G-Whiz.
In the first position, the penetrating partner lifts the receiving partner’s bottom, while the receiving partner straddles their shoulders, explains Certified Master Sex Expert Nikki Ransom-Alfred. “This position actually helps to lift the uterus,” she tells SheKnows, exposing the receiving partner’s “cul-de-sac (an erogenous zone located deep in the vagina)” and allowing the penetrating partner to stimulate it.
The second variation is similar to a Lifted Missionary, where the receiving partner’s bottom is lifted with several pillows or a sex wedge, and their knees are to their ears (or wherever is comfortable). This position allows “the clitoris and the pubic area to be massaged while being penetrated,” Dr. Tara explains.
The Tilt-a-Whirl
Go on the ride of your life with The Tilt-a-Whirl. For this sex position, have the penetrating partner, with feet on the floor, sit on the edge of the bed, instructs Taylor.
The receiving partner should sit on their partner’s lap, face to face, she says. “Then they should both lean backwards in a 45-degree angle, holding each other by the arms.” The penetrating partner does all the work and penetrates the G-spot area. In other words, you’re bound to have a very happy finish.
For a similar (but less bicep-intensive) position, try a simple cowgirl. The receiving partner can “tilt their pelvis as they move to receive optimal clitoral stimulation,” Switzer explains. Though far from foolproof, she says, “this is generally the easiest way for a person with a vagina to orgasm.”
Closed for Business
Looking for a little oral fun? Then get wild and try the Closed for Business position.
According to Ransom-Alfred, performing cunnilingus on the receiving partner while their legs are closed causes their “sexual arousal and excitement to build slowly and more intensely” until they finally explode in orgasm.
And who doesn’t want that?
In High Heels or Doggy Style
Turn up the heat and have sex in heels.
“Stand on the floor, bent over the end of the bed or a table while wearing high heels, advises AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator Charlie Glickman. “This is a great position for deeper penetration. You can relax yourself onto the surface and wearing heels can also lift you to the perfect height for your partner,” he points out.
“Plus, heels give your butt more ‘wiggle’ (which is why they make women’s butts move so much when walking), so they make it easier to move during sex.”
If you’re not up for the high heels variation, any doggy style position is a good choice, Dr. Tara says. “Doggy position coupled with clitoral stimulation at the same time can really help people that find it hard to orgasm experience an orgasm,” she explains.
Pin It!
Interested in trying any or all of these positions out for yourself? Then be sure to pin this for later.
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