Your kid is in college — do you still shop for them?

Vera Sweeney

Lady and the Blog

@VeraSweeney

When I was younger and went away to college, I did my own shopping. I no longer leaned on my mother for support, and I grew quite independent because of the experience. I feel like those few years really helped mold me into who I am today. She — of course — helped out by sending me money but never had to shop specifically for any items that I needed.

I feel like I will live through the same experience with my children. I mean, obviously for special occasions — like birthdays and Christmas — I will make massive purchases for the kids to make up for lost time. But odds are by college, my little ones will be pretty self-sufficient.

Truth is, I’m sure with every visit to their college dorm, my husband and I will arrive with a car filled with goods for our kids. You never truly stop parenting, right? I’d better make sure my Costco and BJ’s memberships are up-to-date. Yes, we have both. You never can have too many paper towels, after all.

More on school fashion

Durable denim finds for elementary school
10 Versatile fashion finds
Best back-to-school shoes under $50

Janell Poulette

Saving You Dinero

@Janellcp

You should not still shop for your child who is in college. I do not have any kids in college, but I remember when I was in college, it was my responsibility to buy the things that I needed. It can be difficult to have a job and take college classes, but many people can do it and are better off for having done it.

Part of being a college student is to start being an adult and assuming the responsibilities that come along with adulthood. College students no longer have their parents watching over them and telling them everything they need to do. This is a freedom that many young people look forward to for a long time. If parents shop for their college-aged children, those children will not have the opportunity to grow up and start providing for themselves, making important decisions and learning how to manage money.

I’m not saying that parents have to abandon their children when they go to college. All parents always want to help and be there for their kids. But this is a great time to let them learn how to juggle more responsibilities. They may like it that you still buy them stuff like school supplies and electronics — but they will probably not like the clothes you pick out for them, nor will they learn valuable lessons they will need to know when they are totally on their own.