“Be a good friend”
Simonsen’s advice for other women considering the seemingly solitary path of IVF as a single mother may sound unconventional, but after everything she has been through, perhaps it is logically simple.
“My advice to single women is, be a good friend,” she says. “Invest time and energy into building and maintaining relationships and be genuine. Without my friends, some I have known for many years and some only a few months and weeks, I would not be able to get through tough times.
“I may not have the family most 43-year-old women have — a husband and kids — but my friends are my family. I would be lost without them.”
Never give up
“Lisa is tenacious and resilient,” Crowley says. “She wants to be a mother and is willing to go through amazing lengths to become one. She never fell apart. Just one foot in front of the other. She was overwhelmingly positive when professionals around her were less than optimistic.
“I’m not sure how I would react in the same situation, but I hope it would be with as much grace as Lisa.”
Simonsen still has faith her soul mate is out there and she can have the family she dreams about. “I would like to think that I will meet a guy where everything falls into place. We [would be] compatible but also different and complement each other.
“Sometimes I wonder what he might be doing right now and what his life is like, when our paths will cross. Until then, I just move forward with my life and try to be thankful for what I do have, and if a guy comes along, that would be a great ‘extra.'”
Advocating for people with Down syndrome
Unbelievably, Simonsen learned her corporate job was being eliminated the same week she returned from maternity leave. While many people would dive under the bed covers and ask, “Why me?,” Simonsen chose to pour her newfound free time into volunteering.
“I am still involved with the Down Syndrome Association because I feel that even though Carter did not survive, his life had so much meaning,” Simonsen shares. “It has given me a new purpose and I will never be the same because of him. I didn’t get a chance to be the long-term, hands-on mom I wanted to be, but I can volunteer and make a difference in other kids’ lives.
“The Down Syndrome Association was there for me when I needed them… I have met so many amazing moms and their kids, as well. Inspiration is abundant! I hope to be a part of growing the Association to its full potential: increasing awareness to the community, raising funds for programs and research and helping plan fun events that the kids and families can look forward to and enjoy.”
Oh, and Simonsen has a few other things on her to-do list.
“I am hoping to start working again soon and also continue volunteer work. I am trying IVF one more time. I would like to adopt a child as well in the future. I want my children to know all about Carter. He was their big brother who made such a big impact in his short 10 days on earth.”
Does anyone doubt this woman will do all that — and much, much more?
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