Have an icy or aloof dad? Just be glad you didn’t end up with Royal Tenenbaum.
From deadbeats to drill sergeants, much has been made of “daddy issues.” The bumbling idiot dad is an easy TV and movie trope, but every once in a while you stumble across the odd psycho or downright villainous jerk. Thankfully, you are unlikely to find too many dads like these in real life.
1. Royal Tenenbaum, The Royal Tenenbaums
Image: Giphy
Royal’s failure as a dad didn’t necessarily come from malice, but it takes a pretty messed up individual to fake stomach cancer just to mess with his ex-wife and kids.
2. Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Image: Giphy
Peter is a selfish, gluttonous imbecile and a jerk to everyone from his wife to his neighbors, but especially to poor Meg.
3. Tywin Lannister, Game of Thrones
Image: Giphy
Most of the dads on this list wouldn’t be up for any sort of parenting award, but none are quite as awful as Tywin Lannister, who is as ruthless as he is unfeeling. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t think he got what he deserved.
4. Al Bundy, Married… with Children
Image: Giphy
Al peaked in high school and spiraled downward from there, heading up a hugely dysfunctional family that all but hated each other’s guts. Plus his stupid voice was annoying.
5. Darth Vader, Star Wars
Image: Giphy
For the first half of his children’s lives, he was nowhere to be found, making him pretty much the ultimate deadbeat. Eventually the gang was reunited, after which he actively tried to kill his offspring.
6. Harry Wormwood, Matilda
Image: Giphy
Ugh. Poor Matilda. Her dad was a sleazy used car salesman who thought her incredible gifts were freakish. Plus he was fond of piling on tons of verbal abuse.
7. Lucius Malfoy, Harry Potter
Image: Giphy
Who uses their own child as an assassin, knowing that the experience will likely traumatize and mar him for life? Lucius Malfoy, that’s who.
8. Dr. Evil, Austin Powers
Image: Giphy
Another deadbeat more wrapped up in his career than his child. Scott has to practically beg him for any kind of attention, for which he is routinely mocked.
9. Jack Torrance, The Shining
Image: Giphy
They don’t have a Father’s Day card for the dad who drags his family out to somewhere they don’t want to be and then chases them around with an ax in a rabid attempt to murder the crap out of them.
10. Walter White, Breaking Bad
Image: Giphy
People were always unfairly judgmental of Skyler, when Walt was the lying, manipulative jerk who abandoned his family to manufacture massive amounts of meth. He even screwed over poor Jesse, who wasn’t actually his son but still looked up to him. Rude.
More on dads
Awesome gifts for first time daddies
When mom’s away, dad’s a “babysitter”
Dad’s handbook to common kid disasters
Leave a Comment