“They grow up so fast, don’t they? Enjoy it while it lasts,” they say. What “they” don’t tell you is that, though rewarding, there are some parts of parenting you will want to forget.
Every parent looks forward to the next stage of growth, but be warned — these milestones are not all they are cracked up to be.
1. Sleeping in his own crib
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You move your little guy from a bassinet in your room to his very own crib down the hall. My, how time flies… Here’s what you can really expect: Nonstop crying and whimpering coupled with your crippling anxiety as you keep your eyes locked on the video monitor all night long.
2. Holding a rattle
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The first time that your baby learns to grasp an object and play with it is kind of a big deal. Please remember this precious moment when you have an 18-month-old toddler who likes to hit you with LEGOs.
3. Learning to roll over
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As cute as it might be, rolling over is just one step closer to the terror that is a crawling baby.
4. Eating solids
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Aw, your widdle bundle of joy is eating real people food! Fast-forward two months later, and he will be throwing globs of it on the floor with abandon.
5. Learning to crawl
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Can you believe he’s crawling already? You’ll believe it when the exhaustion sets in after chasing your active crawler around the living room for hours.
6. Cutting his first tooth
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Don’t worry — your excited wonderment will soon wear off when you realize that teething equals nonstop crying, diarrhea and irritability.
7. Saying his first word
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This might just be the most special milestone for a parent, but it’s also the most dangerous. In two short years, you’ll be wishing he had just one word in his extensive vocabulary.
8. Learning to walk
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Every parent clamors to catch this joyous milestone on video. Savor it — before you find out the hard way that a walking toddler means your house will never look the same again.
9. Learning to climb
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Let’s be real — there is not one sane parent out there who thinks that a climbing toddler is adorable. Not a one.
10. Learning to run
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“Wow, he’s so strong and so fast. He must get that from his father.” You might have to wipe that smug smile off your face when you lose your sprinting toddler at the grocery store yet again.
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