North West, Harper Beckham, Aila Wang and Carmen Baldwin have all been spotted tantrum-ing their way through New York Fashion Week. Because there seems to be a whole lot of confusion about where babies and young children belong, here are 30 other places where you shouldn’t bring your baby.
1: To Anna Wintour’s office, unless Anna has invited your baby into her office.
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2: At your Botox appointment.
3: At an afternoon showing of Fifty Shades of Grey.
4: At an underground secret Fight Club meeting.
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5: At a strip club unless you are the baby’s mother and the baby is backstage and you are working at said strip club.
6: Same goes for NYFW and you are Ashleigh Good and you are keeping your 4-month-old backstage because you are breastfeeding.
7: At your root canal.
8: To go dumpster diving.
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9: To your breast augmentation.
10: To the gun range.
11: To your trip to the summit of Mount Everest.
12: To your bail hearing.
13: To a wedding where the invitation clearly states “No children please.”
14: To a screening of a Lars von Trier movie at Cannes.
15: To visit your dealer.
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16: To your open-heart surgery.
17: To the open-heart surgery you are assisting in performing.
18: To a cock fight.
19: To run with the bulls in Pamplona.
20: To the high-stakes room at Caesars Palace in Vegas.
21: To a cremation.
22: To procure butt plugs.
23: Space Mountain.
24: To Kris Jenner’s Botox appointment.
25: To Chris Brown’s birthday party.
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26: To go with you to get your vasectomy.
27: To a bank robbery.
28: To a fetish club.
29: To your tattoo removal.
30: To the orphanage.
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