‘Mr. Mommy’ classes attempt to show men what motherhood is really like

It’s pretty much impossible for men to really know what it’s like to give birth, and it’s also difficult to realize what a brand-new mom caring for a newborn baby goes through during those first few postpartum weeks.

But that’s what made a “Mr. Mommy” class in China so appealing for some couples. The class was actually a promotional campaign for an online consultancy hub for new mothers, and they paid three men a decent sum (around $1,500) to go through 10 days of what it’s like to be a new mom in China.

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A correspondent from the U.K.’s Daily Mail Online was intrigued after reading their reports and signed up to take a one-day course doing the same thing. And he had a very, um… interesting experience. He wore a bra and fake breasts, “breastfed” twins, got clamps applied to his nipples and his abdomen and was forced to stay in an apartment for the duration of the experience without air-conditioning due to an old Chinese tradition that wind is harmful for new moms. Also, his food intake was restricted, he was awakened at all hours of the night to nurse his twins, he changed dirty diapers, and he learned how to bathe them.

This is definitely a good start, and we know some dads dive in and do whatever they can to help. But we have a few more “activities” that men can go through to give them an even better idea what it’s like to take care of a newborn after giving birth.

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• Give them a wet shirt to wear around all day, and when they take that off, continue splattering them with a milk-like substance.
• Once they are down to their last outfit, surprise them with a diaper blowout all over their pants.
• Give them a plate of food that they have to use both hands to eat, but require that they hold and/or breastfeed their baby at the same time.
• Feed them lots of cheese and bananas so they can have fun trying to pass a rock-hard turd the next time they have to poop.
• Or! Don’t actually provide real food — instead give them a bunch of random dry goods to rifle through, like saltine crackers and crappy cereal. And no plates.
• The clamps to the belly are a nice touch, but for a more accurate representation of labor pain and birth, clip them to their perineum instead.
• After they’re done with that, give them a sitz bath, but oops, your hot water heater went out, and you have to use cold water.
• Purposely trash the room they’re staying in, but make sure they are flustered and tired enough that they can’t really do anything about it.
• Send in a toddler that they have to “take care of.” Ha-ha.
• Hide their shoes.
• When they’re trapped under a sleeping baby, make sure they can’t reach their phone or the remote.

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So yeah, this bizarre “Mr. Mommy” class is a great idea, but they’re really going to have to work to make it seem a bit more realistic.