Never forget that your “me” time is only going to make you a better person and human
Whether you were knee-deep into meditation and yoga or escaping three nights a week to attend Erhard Seminars Training, the ’70s was a time to get your New Age on. Parents felt exactly 0.0 percent guilt pursuing their own adventures and spiritual quests, because they understood the importance of becoming their best selves, which would only enhance their ability to be better parents.
Serve murgh makai shorba with Tang
If Tang was good enough for NASA astronauts, it was good enough for your family, no matter how odd the taste of powdered orange dust may seem. The cooks in the family back in the ’70s seemed to suffer from a constant crisis of identity — one day they’d serve up cheese logs and quiche, the next a mung bean detox soup they learned about at the health club. The one meal constant? Good ol’ Tang.
More:What happens when a modern mom parents like it’s the ’70s for a whole week
Helmets and sunscreen shouldn’t even be on your mind
Summer meant telling your kids to get out and stay out after breakfast (though they would usually be long gone before you even had a chance to see them). Their primary mode of transportation was either a bike or skateboard, but you would have never thought to buy them a helmet or kneepads. As for sunscreen, everyone knew the more bronze you could get, the healthier and more radiant you would look and feel — because vitamin D. If you had a free sunny day, you could get in on the action of slathering yourself with baby oil and hanging out on a plastic and vinyl lounge chair that adhered to your body like a Band-Aid.
Don’t have the sex talk with your kids — just leave your books hanging around the house
You were in luck in the ’70s: You could get away with skipping awkward sex talks, because 9 times out of 10, you had at least one filthy sex book on your shelf — and if you didn’t, your kid’s friend’s mom most certainly did. Children could learn about different sex positions via The Joy of Sex, complete with illustrations of bearded men and their hippie lovers. Nancy Friday’s My Mother/My Self encouraged young girls to see themselves as separate (and sexual) beings from their mothers. And Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask) provided parents who were raised in more repressed times and their freedom-loving kids an education on sex — and even masturbation.
Never, ever know where your kids are
It was totally possible your teen had every intention of going to Jennifer’s house. But then she and her friends decided to meet up at Burger King instead, and since there were no cellphones, she simply didn’t have a chance to tell you that plans changed. After that, they stopped by a keg party in the park before Jason suggested they all pile into his ’68 Plymouth Road Runner Hemi and speed down to Philly for a cheesesteak. No worries, your kid was back before sunrise — and you were sound asleep the entire time, convinced that Jennifer is so nice to host your kid and her friends every single Friday night.
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