Three years after Idina Menzel gave us all chills with those crazy pipes in Frozen, kids still really, really love the movie. Maybe it’s the sparkly snow. Maybe it’s the happy snowman. Maybe it’s when Elsa whips her hair braid down while spikes of ice explode all around her. Could be the reindeer. They seriously love that shit.
Charlize Theron’s 4-year-old son Jackson is certainly no exception. That’s probably why he chose to don one of those expensive caps with the Elsa braid you can pick up at the Disney Store if you manage to wrestle it out of the grasp of a rabid 6-year-old. He wore it with a pretty cute dress too, and everyone went, “Aw, sweet,” and didn’t make a big deal about preschoolers liking to play dress-up.
Just kidding. Nope, people were awful.
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Apparently, the mom and son duo went out to eat, and someone snapped a picture of the event, which included a little boy wearing whatever the hell it is that he decided to wear that day because he’s 4. Those pictures made their way onto the internet, and pretty soon people were on their way to reminding us why we can never have nice things.
Here’s the ridiculous thing about all of this: So many of these comments accuse Theron of having some deep, dark political agenda and using her son as a pawn to make sure that… what? We’re all forced to accept that expensive Disney paraphernalia is a thing kids really love? Prove that the new world order is being ushered in by little kids who like to do stuff that doesn’t always meet the greater societal standard of “not weird”? Have these people ever even met a child? Kids do inexplicable, innocuous shit all of the time.
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I’ve met kids who have plastic barn owls for lovies and wear their socks on their hands and plaster their faces in Band-Aids and carry all of their prized possessions around with them in an airline-issued nausea bag. On the grand scale of crazy kid behavior, a boy wearing a dress and an Elsa cap doesn’t even register. I saw a little girl who wore a motocross helmet everywhere she went between the ages of 4 and 6. What’s that agenda? A dastardly scheme to force people to live life to the extreme?
Nah. You want to know what Theron’s agenda is here? Come here. Lean in close. We’ll tell you.
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It’s to get her 4-year-old some froyo.
Now, you want to hear Jackson’s devious agenda?
It’s to wear clothes he likes from a movie he likes. Crazy, right?
None of this was political until a bunch of random internet strangers started insisting that it was. It’s not political if your preschool daughter wants to dress up like the Hulk, and it’s not political if your preschool son wants to wear a bomb-ass Elsa cap, and if that’s the kind of thing that sets your Illuminati-pinko-commie-gay-agenda-red-flag beacon a-blarin’, it might be time to get off of the internet and go meet some actual people.
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