Oh, Santa. You try so hard every year to work your magic, but some kids aren’t having it. Some kids turn on you at the last minute. They’re all smiles waiting in line, and then they’re on your lap and blammo: waterworks. When all you want to do is provide love and cheer and find out what the damn kids want for Christmas! So unfair. Still, irate babies and sullen kids make for hilarious photo opportunities, so thank you for toughing it out — for us.
Here, in no particular order, are 10 #SantaFAILs that cracked us up this week.
1. I like this one in particular because even though that baby is on the verge of total breakdown, he and Santa are really engaging on a soul level. That Santa gets him. You can feel it.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BN3DL3ogmuX/
2. This one ousted Santa from his chair! Also, I like his tartan plaid bottoms. (Are those shorts? Is that a onesie? I don’t even care. It’s working for him.) Good work, kid. Now, please let Santa have his chair back; he’s got a job to do.
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3. Why are you both so upset? You outnumber him.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BN-n7tEh60S/
4. This is one unflappable Santa. Keep crying, kid; your tears only strengthen his Santa powers.
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5. Buck up, Santa. You know what Meatloaf says: Two out of three ain’t bad. Is Meatloaf Santa? He will be.
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6. This poor Santa. Where did he go wrong? What is he even doing there? Why doesn’t he have a chair? He’s on a bench. Is he at the DMV? Maybe he was getting his license renewed and someone put a kid on him. You can’t do that to Santa! There’s protocol!
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7. What are you? You’re not Santa. Santa doesn’t wear houndstooth! Houndstooth is in exactly zero “guess what Santa wears” songs! Unhand those children at once. Children, you are correct to be so enraged. Fight him!
https://www.instagram.com/p/BNIiy9ZBT7-/
8. This child is extremely skeptical, and Santa sees her point. I like their chemistry. I look forward to their buddy cop show, Santa and the Kid.
9. This is my favorite Santa by far. He’s nothing but delighted! Give him a despondent child and a cat: no problem! Also: Someone brought their cat to a mall. Kudos all around.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BN9RZk-AFHS/
10. This girl is a ball of pure rage — and, well, she should be, because that Santa is creepy as fuck. Santa, you have hairy arms, and your beard is more of a white-blond than white, and those glasses indicate that you’re an accountant. Get it together.
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