We really feel for any mom-to-be who is tired of waiting for her baby to arrive.
We also really feel for those of us who have nothing better to do than sit around and watch live-streaming video of a giraffe named April as she prepares (sloooooooowly) to give birth to a calf.
Even purring British sexpot Tom Hiddleston got involved, doing play-by-play April commentary.
You didn’t know this was a thing? What, do you have, like, a job or something? Sick parents to care for? Everyone knows April is ready to pop out a giraffe calf. Poor April’s been gestating this terrifying giraffe fetus (I mean, think about it, that’s a lot going on all up in there) for nearly 15 months, and some people have been losing sleep waiting for the blessed event to finally happen. We wish we were kidding.
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Very, very pregnant Erin Dietrich feels a deep connection to April the giraffe — and finds it pretty hilarious that people are riveted by a live stream of a giraffe very much not giving birth. So the South Carolina mom of almost four decided to express her solidarity with April’s exhausting wait by donning a giraffe mask, leggings, a sports bra and — the pièce de résistance— a lovely string of pearls. Dietrich filmed herself at the same zoo angle poor willowy April’s been subjected to for weeks. For eight deeply compelling and inexplicably comical minutes, Dietrich wandered aimlessly around her pen — er, sorry, master bedroom — and did a few squats and dance moves. And lay down. THIS IS ART, PEOPLE.
More:Animal crafts you can make with your kids while you wait for April the giraffe to give birth
The best part? (Or the scariest part, as a commentary on the internet age and its possible liquefying effect on our brains?) In just hours, Dietrich’s parody of April the Giraffe’s live-stream video scored 13 million views. It’s now at 27 million.
Hey, remember the days when humans got bored and went out and cured smallpox and built rocket ships and stuff? No, we don’t either.
If you like comparisons, BBC reports that only 20 million people have checked in with April’s zoo cameras. Sad trombone for a sad giraffe.
Even sadder: Poor April’s due date has passed, which is bad enough when your gestation period is nine months. Try 15 months of this crap. We watch April’s live stream now like it’s a suicide watch. Keep the faith, April. (You too, Erin, but we’re less worried about you. You’ve got your sense of humor. April looks pretty damn morose.)
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