No one would expect parenting toddlers to be a walk in a park — unless that walk was uphill in frigid temperatures while you try to encourage a toddler in mid-meltdown to put their coat back on. Still, it’s impossible to truly grasp how difficult raising little ones this age unless you’ve been through it. Rumer Willis is in the thick of the toddler years with her daughter Louetta “Lou” Isley, 20 months, and she just got really vulnerable about how hard it is.
In an Instagram Q&A on Monday, the My Divorce Party star revealed what the “hardest thing about toddlerhood” is, and as a mom of a toddler myself, I can completely relate.
“Finding a balance of allowing her to work through her frustrations and big feelings while also trying [to] do what is best for her,” Willis wrote on her Instagram story to answer the question. (She also shared an adorable photo of Lou sitting in a little chair and smiling, with her hair up in a half ponytail.)
Willis gave an example of one particular struggle she’s had recently with her daughter. “We are currently moving towards night weaning and switching from on demand nursing to more of a routine and it is so challenging to hear her cry or her frustration while also knowing it is important to teach her that we don’t always get our way,” Willis said.
“And just holding a safe container for her to express her emotions no matter how big,” she added.
It’s hard going through these tough life lessons with your little one! Especially as you are transitioning from parenting a baby and doing on-demand feeding, comforting, responding to every cry, to parenting an independent toddler who sometimes cries because they are frustrated with the rules or learning about life. You can’t protect your kids from ever feeling sad — and it’s so important to set boundaries and routines! — but that doesn’t make it any easier to hear your child cry.
The Once Upon a Time in Hollywood actress is also navigating the toddler years as a single mom since her split from ex Derek Richard Thomas, which she announced in Aug. 2024. Someone asked her if she ever gets “scared” as a single mom, and she admitted that she does.
“Sometimes when she gets sick I get scared and it can be overwhelming dealing with firsts,” she shared. “But I am really lucky to have an amazing community of women that support me. But also Lou and I are a team and we are both learning and getting more confident every day.”
This echoes what she has said previously, like when she and Lou got sick earlier this month. She shared an update at the time, explaining, “Been a little quiet on here cause I have been going through a really intense chapter of what feels like old and new grief, growth and transformation.” She added that she feels like her body is “forcing me to rest after pushing it too hard” and she’s trying to show herself “again and again I am so much more capable than I think as I take care of Lou while we are both sick.”
“I feel as if I am being called forth by the universe to truly let go and trust as challenges physically, emotionally and spiritually have come one after another,” Willis continued. “Sickness, betrayal, burn out, disappointment, broken trust, balancing work and motherhood, the mental load that comes with it all. All swirling together to create the arena for me to conquer.”
Despite these challenges, Willis is looking ahead to 2025 and focusing on her daughter. “Filled with so much gratitude for this perfect magical being and my absolute soulmate little Lou who is a light and makes all of this wild chaos around us go silent with just a smile and knowing everything that I have right now is enough,” she said.
Other tidbits in Willis’s Instagram Q&A on Monday include Willis revealing that she “absolutely” wants to give Lou a sibling. “Hoping to give her one this year,” Willis explained. Someone else asked if she was considering going through in-vitro fertilization with a sperm donor, and Willis responded, “Not quite sure. I am opening myself up to a wide variety of options but ideally with a partner But will share.”
She also shared that “the biggest learning lesson” she had in 2024: “I am so much more capable than I think,” she wrote. “I can handle being a single parent valuing myself and my needs are more important than any romantic relationship.”
“My daughter is the love of my life and she is the most important person in my life,” she added. “I have to take care of me so I can take care of her.”
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