Many of us are familiar with the term “third place.” Or, if you’re not, let me give you a rudimentary breakdown of a phrase that you’ll now notice all the time. For adults, there’s their home, there’s their workplace, and then there’s that third place — their local coffee shop, bar, mall, library, or any space for public gatherings — that is ultra-special in their lives. Think: Central Perk in Friends or the diner in Seinfeld.
Urban sociologist Ray Oldenburg is credited with coining the term in the ’90s, and he argued that these “third places” are vital to communities and let people put aside the concerns associated with that first and second place. It’s where the fun and relaxation can (hopefully) happen.
Now, the term “Fourth Space” is entering the chat. Yes, Fourth Space (I know that slight change will be upsetting to some Type A personalities out there — myself included). It’s a space that, according to new research, Gen Z and Millenials are increasingly seeking.
Eventbrite, a global events marketplace where people can discover all kinds of Fourth Space gatherings, and dcdx, a company that specializes in Gen Z research and insights, surveyed 2 thousand people, mostly ages 18-35, per Ticket News. The study found that 95 percent of people in this demographic are “interested in exploring their online interests face-to-face.”
This means, that despite what parents of teens and young adults might think, there is this shift away from screens (halle-freakin’-lujah!) and back toward in-person interactions. So retro!
“Fourth Spaces” go beyond just a regular ol’ hangout with friends. They are intentional gathering places that typically bring people’s digital interests to life. So, if they’ve been watching cooking videos on TikTok, their Fourth Space might be a Supper Club. Or, if they’re always playing Candy Crush or Wordle, maybe they’ve joined a board game meetup. Getting the gist? The study also found that jewelry-making or crocheting classes are gaining interest, along with comedy shows, anime conventions, running clubs, and more events, classes, or meetups that encourage genuine interactions based on a common interest. It’s all about blending digital interests with IRL experiences.
And while the idea of getting together with people to do something you like might not sound revolutionary, it sort of is — for a demographic known for excessive screen time.
“This shift is happening because teens and young adults are developmentally wired to invest in their individuality and find meaningful relationships outside their homes,” Grace Lautman, licensed mental health counselor at Honor Nutrition & Counseling, tells SheKnows. “These kids have obviously had so much access to technology and the online world, and that was exacerbated during the pandemic, but that doesn’t mean they want friendships and communities to be exclusively online.”
Lautman swears it’s a “total misconception” that these generations prefer online communities over in-person ones, and hopes parents find solace in the fact that, again, teens and young adults are “innately wired” to crave in-person connections. If you think your Gen Z-er needs a nudge to find their own Fourth Space, Lautman recommends asking open-ended questions about their online interests and approaching the conversation with a genuine sense of curiosity.
“Teens are developmentally prone to establishing their differences or opposition to parents, so we help them foster in-person spaces more effectively when we avoid saying things that put them on the defensive,” Lautman says. Meaning, don’t force them into a certain Fourth Space. You want to be asking, not probing.
For some young people, it’s easier to identify their Fourth Space than others. A teen who loves to play FIFA every day will likely want to join a soccer league (or at least attend some games).
“Someone else may be passionate about something like storytelling; for that person, a book club, writers club, or in-person role-play games might be the ticket,” Lindsey Gray, a cognitive behavioral expert and Head Teen Coach of The Attitude Advantage Program tells SheKnows. “There’s always a way to ‘team up’ with others who ‘tick’ just like us, in our digital and physical worlds.”
So how do you get started? Platforms like Meetup are designed to help connect people with relevant (you guessed it) meetups near them. There’s everything from game nights, craft workshops, hiking groups, and more. Navi Hughes, a therapist and psychiatric nurse practitioner with Empower Mental Health, also suggests finding volunteer opportunities that align with their interests to give young adults “a sense of purpose.” VolunteerMatch is a great place to find nonprofits in need of a hand. And, when in doubt, turn to your mom friends or parent Facebook groups for suggestions on local Fourth Spaces.
Bonus points if you get a new Fourth Space started! (Can your teen and their peers meet in your basement for a monthly knitting hour? Can you talk to the local library about hosting international film nights?)
No matter how your teen’s Fourth Space manifests, it’s encouraging to see this movement away from screen time and toward more authentic interactions — no chargers or blue light glasses required. (Although some snacks certainly wouldn’t hurt!)
Before you go, check out these celebrities who have shared their technology rules for their kids.
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