Warning: This article deals with and discusses content involving miscarriage and contains graphic imagery. Please be advised that the discussion may contain triggers.
In the social media world of highly curated images, perfect bodies, and seemingly perfect lives, these moms on Instagram are keeping it as real as it gets (#nofilter). They’re sharing the good, the bad, the ugly, and the absolutely awful moments of motherhood. It’s refreshing to see such honesty online when so much of what you usually see is, well, unrealistic. The women ahead do not allow the glossy world that makes up the majority of Instagram make them feel like bad moms.
It takes unbelievable bravery to put something personal, raw and honest out there for the world to see — likely to be met by trolls, because internet. But these moms aren’t shying away from the brutal truth, and we are so here for it. From a post-triplet baby belly to a mom who documents her son’s battle with pediatric cancer, these empowering women are sharing their truths about the really real moments of motherhood. You’re going to want to hug your mom after this one, and maybe your best friend. And the lady in the checkout line. And the other moms at drop-off.
Moms, motherhood is hard. Be there for each other.
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Meg Loeks is a mom of four — three boys and a little girl. When her oldest son, Leo, was diagnosed with leukemia, Loeks became a pediatric cancer advocate, and uses her beautiful Instagram feed filled with dreamlike photos of her kids and their life in the midwest to document Leo’s journey with leukemia. The heartbreaking images can be difficult to look at, but Leo’s bravery and optimism are obvious. And the photos shine a light on a story that’s too often hidden: what it’s like to parent a sick child. Loeks’ pictures are haunting and show the support behind her amazing boy.
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Robin Schannep is the #vanlife mom behind @contentednomads, and she lived through a devastating loss when she went into premature labor at just 15.5 weeks pregnant — and lost the pregnancy. But instead of grieving alone, as far too many many women feel they must, Schannep shared photos of her son and invited women everywhere to mourn with her — hoping that no one should have to go through such loss alone. Schannep’s honesty and courage in the face of such sorrow brought together women from all over the world, commenting in solidarity.
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Of course there is no such thing as a “perfect mom.” But Desiree Fortin, the brains behind @theperfectmom, reassures us all that you are the perfect mom. You’re on anti-anxiety meds? You’re a perfect mom. Haven’t showered in a week? You’re a perfect mom. Panicked that a stranger is going to kidnap your baby at the park? You’re a perfect mom. Fortin is the cheerleader we all need, flaunting her imperfections — and she’s hella honest.
After giving birth to triplets (holy crap mama) she posted the above photo of her stomach and encouraged moms to have grace towards the body that carried their child. Fortin knows, as do all of us moms, that our culture puts far too much emphasis on some unattainable ideal of a “post-baby body,” on how quickly moms “bounce back,” and which celebs are out on the red carpet in heels hours after giving birth. Fortin reminds us that no matter what you look like, what faults you have, how many times you think you’re a terrible mom for hiding in the bathroom to escape your kids, just keep putting one foot in front of the other — because you are a perfect mom.
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Kate Swenson started documenting her son’s severe autism in an attempt to help other moms going through the same thing. Her oldest son, Cooper, was diagnosed with autism at age three. He is now six years old and still completely non-verbal; he isn’t potty trained and is delayed in other areas as well. He is also, Swenson would like to point out, the most incredible boy she knows. In addition to her Instagram, @findingcoopersvoice, Swenson has a website and a YouTube channel dedicated to documenting daily life with Cooper.
On her site, Swenson includes a section for parents of children who are newly diagnosed with autism, and offers help and advice as someone who has been through that very journey. Because sometimes all you need is a little support. Swenson’s videos and photos of life with Cooper reveal that although life with a child on the spectrum isn’t easy, she and Cooper are living their best lives — and she isn’t giving up hope that one day, Cooper might speak. He might even be potty-trained. That hope is something Swenson plans to share with every other parent of a kid on the spectrum.
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Nirrimi Joy of @nirr.imi is a teen mom, a photographer, and unafraid to discuss the honest details of her life — from her brother’s suicide to her mental health battle. She speaks openly about the challenges of being a single parent, and offers tips on what works for her.
Nirrimi posted recently, “I’ve been doing so well lately, so incredibly well that when a friend brought up my anxiety I laughed and said it felt like I didn’t have anxiety anymore. But last night I did. Last night I was reminded of just how physical it is to struggle with mental illness; how impossible to control and debilitating it feels. My past trauma was triggered in way that started a chain reaction of hard feelings and I fell asleep late and woke late and missed all of my morning rituals, barely scraping getting Alba to school in time. Instead of going to my studio I stayed home and baked cookies and still, still, I felt heavy and anxious and guilty.”
For someone so young who’s been through so much, she manages not to come off as jaded or immature. Instead, she speaks bluntly about the bad days as well as the good days — as we all should.
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