There’s no doubt about it: We’re in the midst of an environmental emergency. As of today, wildfires in Los Angeles have killed 10 people and damaged or destroyed 9,000 structures in what may be the costliest wildfire disaster in the history of the United States. But even if you don’t live close enough to be affected, that still doesn’t mean you don’t have anything to worry about. Human-caused climate change has reached a crisis point. Our summers and winters keep getting warmer — and the more our planet warms, the more dire the impact. The average wildlife populations have dropped by 69 percent since 1970, and we’re losing entire islands and capital cities (farewell, Jakarta) as sea levels continue their rapid rise.
In 2023, for the first time ever, I told my children that the air quality was too dangerous for them to go outside. Smoke from a wildfire burning hundreds of miles away had come to the Northeast and the entire world had taken on an orange-yellow tint that was more horror movie than real life. And now, with the horrific wildfires raging through Los Angeles, parents everywhere are struggling with how to come to terms with the devastation themselves — much less explain it to the kids (more on that later). Natural disasters are undoubtedly more intense and more frequent because of climate change. Kids in LA are now being forced to flee their homes, and children across the country — across the world — are spending days trapped indoors because of destructive weather events.
Climate change is already impacting our kids, changing the shape of their childhood — and they’re taking notice. Which means we, as parents, have to talk to our kids. Even if we don’t know the answers. Even if we’re afraid of what the answers may be. Because they’ll be dealing with this issue a lot longer than we will. But where do we start, and how do we have that conversation without scaring them?
Start by listening.
Whether you’ve addressed the topic with your kids or not, most likely your kids have heard the term “climate change”. They’ve likely been exposed to the discussion at school, with their friends, and definitely — for older kids — from social media.
Given that, parents should start the conversation with kids by asking questions and then listening to the answers. Ask open-ended questions and then let kids talk. “Start by seeing where they are, what they know, what they care about, and then listen,” Wendy Greenspun, a climate psychology practitioner and educator, tells SheKnows.
Validate their feelings.
One of the most important things parents can do when talking about climate change with their kids is to validate the feelings kids are having — especially feelings in response to a climate event that impacts them directly.
“Validate their feelings, because it’s pretty big what’s happening and there’s not a lot of time and space for young people to process it,” says Mary DeMocker, Author of The Parents’ Guide to Climate Revolution. She encourages parents to stay in the conversation with their kids and then determine what kids need to feel emotionally empowered.
In an interview with SheKnows, Emily Walker, education coordinator for EarthDay.org, the world’s largest recruiter to the environmental movement, encourages parents to avoid dismissing their kids’ concerns and promising everything will be okay. It’s OK to acknowledge that things aren’t perfect now — but the message shouldn’t end there. “Create an open environment where you can talk to [your child] about these topics and make them feel safe,” she advises.
Let kids know that it’s normal to have concerns and big feelings about climate change, and ensure they know you support their feelings.
For very young kids, stick to science and facts.
For young kids who don’t know anything about climate change, veteran environmentalist Maya van Rossum, founder of the non-profit Green Amendments For the Generations, recommends starting the conversation with science and facts — describe what climate change is and where it comes from. “Be clear that climate change is a non-natural condition,” she said. “It results from people putting too much carbon dioxide and methane into the air, which is harming natural ecosystems that help keep us safe, like forests and rainforests.”
It’s important to be honest about the real consequences of climate change, and share examples kids can understand, she stresses. For example, we are getting more rain which is causing flooding, and in some places the earth is getting hotter and drier so it’s difficult for people to live there and grow food. Keep it simple, but don’t try to make it less important than it is. Additionally, Greenspun urges parents to start by teaching children to care for more than the human world. Teach them about plants and animals, how we care for them, and what happens if we don’t care for them.
However, we don’t have to share facts that can overwhelm children with fear, warns van Rossum, such as that parts of the earth will soon become uninhabitable or that climate change is linked to increased spread of disease, war, or acts of terror. “This information is real and important, but it’s not information children need to understand that climate change is a serious issue that needs to be addressed.”
And when it comes to current natural disasters, some experts say you might not need to have a conversation with a young child unless they bring questions to you. “If your child is still worried about the monster under the bed, they probably don’t need the [LA] wildfire update,” Veronica West, licensed psychologist and founder of My Thriving Mind tells SheKnows. “For kids under 5, only bring it up if they’re directly affected or overheard something. In that case, keep it breezy: ‘There’s a fire, but it’s far away. Want a snack?’ works wonders.” It shares the message with clear information but without inducing major fear. And then it redirects a child’s attention to something comforting.
If you’re still worried you might accidentally make it too scary, West suggests using this analogy when talking to kids who don’t need to evacuate: “We’re not in danger, but fires can be tricky, so people prepare just in case. Think of it as equivalent to explaining why you lock your doors — not to frighten kids, but to demonstrate to them the value of taking preventative measures.”
Try and stay calm yourself.
Take a deep breath. When speaking with SheKnows in Jan. 2025 about how to discuss the devastating wildfires in LA, a recurring theme among experts was that parents should do their best to remain calm during these conversations (no matter how upset they are themselves).
“Children are emotional sponges, so keep your cool,” West says. “They will be a mess if you are. Before you do this, do your best ‘zen parent’ voice.”
Caitlin Slavens, child psychologist and clinical director of Couples to Cradles Counselling and MamaPsychologists, echoes this sentiment: “Be aware of your feelings and tone, because kids sense those things,” she tells SheKnows. “If you’re feeling anxious or panicky, they will feel that. Have a plan for answering their questions truthfully but calmly, even if the answer is ‘I don’t know, but we can figure it out together.'”
And if you stay totally “zen” but still see fear in your little one’s eyes, LA-based trauma healing expert Dr. Scott Lyons suggests helping to ground them in the present moment. “Help children connect their focus to their senses to pull them away from distressing memories and overwhelming thoughts and focus on what is happening now to calm anxieties,” he says. Perhaps you can help them identify five things they see, four things they hear, and three things they feel in order to ground them. Or maybe they just need some big deep breaths.
Lyons also suggests encouraging movement and play. “Help children come out of fight/flight/freeze with some movement like swinging or shaking or playing games that involve their imagination.”
Encourage older kids to take action.
For older children and teens, the conversation can be more technically driven and more detail-oriented. It also needs to be solution-oriented. “As [kids] get older, it’s important for them to know there are solutions, that we have solutions, they just need to be scaled up quickly. It’s disempowering to think it’s just happening,” says DeMocker.
Whether kids are talking about natural disasters and climate change openly or not, many are experiencing anxiety about climate change, or eco-anxiety. Much of that anxiety isn’t just about climate change, but also about the feeling of being abandoned and betrayed by those in power who aren’t protecting kids’ futures, notes Greenspun.
For that reason, collective action goes a long way for kids, and Greenspun suggests that families find ways to get involved in their communities. “When parents show ‘I care and I want to be in this with you’ that’s one of the most powerful messages we can give.”
By nurturing a sense of empowerment and the belief that there is always something that can be done, you can help reduce the risk of your child feeling helpless to act, which can create stress and anxiety. For instance, talking about the impacts of climate change and the importance of solar panels may be good information, but you have to give your child a way to act on that information — otherwise they may feel powerless. Families should get involved in whatever way feels right to them, whether that’s by connecting with local youth leaders, supporting community gardens and bike paths, writing letters to leaders, or supporting more global movements. Even getting outdoors and connecting with nature can help.
Likewise, education can help manage eco-anxiety. Most kids are only getting little to no climate science in schools, notes Walker, who encourages parents to research and learn with their kids.
Give them permission to hold others accountable.
It’s important to make sure your child understands that climate change causes and solutions don’t all rest on their shoulders. “Government has the most important role in allowing the activities that have brought us to this place and need to be the ones to ensure that industry, communities and government implement key solutions,” said van Rossum.
But you can also help your kid understand that they can be part of the solution, not only in the decisions they make for themselves but in what they seek from (and how they someday vote for) those who have greater authority, which can have a greater impact. This could be anyone from a government official to a class teacher who is using single-use plastic straws for the end-of-term party.
Get kids of all ages involved in finding solutions.
Whatever the age of your kids, these solution-oriented approaches can encourage ongoing conversations.
– Donate time, money, or supplies to disaster relief efforts, or open your home to someone who has lost theirs in a natural disaster if you live close by. Let your kids help where they can; brainstorm ways to help together, and involve them in everything you do to offer assistance.
– Get them to help you do a personal carbon audit, figuring out the ways you contribute, as individuals, to climate change; you can do this with a carbon footprint calculator like this one from The Nature Conservancy. Make a plan of action to reduce your personal impact, and take a family pledge to turn this around where possible. Ways you can make a difference include transportation (walk/cycle instead of driving), eating local produce, eating less meat and buying less stuff.
– Show your kids you care by getting politically involved. Research your political candidates and vote for those who have big plans for tackling climate change — and talk openly about it at home.
– Get connected by joining local groups that are lobbying or working in communities for change. As well as making a difference, your kids will benefit from truly valuable skill-building, community-engaging opportunities. (Use this helpful map from EnvironmentalGroups.us to find one near you.)
Remember, it’s not all about age.
The conversation you have with your child will take shape based on many things besides their age. “It’s also about their personality and the level of information they may already be receiving from other sources,” said van Rossum. She advises checking in with your kids regularly to see how they’re feeling, what they are hearing about environmental issues, and to talk about how they can be part of the solution.
The most important rule, she says, is to be honest. “Do you best to gauge the level of information your child can hear, understand and act upon,” she said.
And don’t worry if you get it wrong! It’s a big issue and nobody expects you to be perfect. Talking to kids about climate change and environmental events can be overwhelming — and terrifying. So much of the news feels catastrophic or even hopeless and kids can feel disempowered, believing it’s just happening.
But there is hope, and it’s crucial to ensure kids know that too. Though some of the changes we’ve experienced are likely locked in for a while, there is a lot to be excited about — innovative ideas like Greencrete instead of concrete, seaweed mining, and the ability to plant coral reefs — but these ideas have to be talked about and funded.
“There’s hope for avoiding the worst catastrophes if we can now and act big,” says DeMocker. “The window of opportunity is closing, but it’s still open.” And that matters.
Look for the helpers
West reminds parents to use “hopeful tones” during natural disasters like the LA wildfires, and emphasize all the firefighters and helpers out there doing their jobs around the clock, and the people who are donating and orchestrating other relief efforts. “Mr. Rogers’ wisdom about looking for helpers never goes out of style,” she says. (Fred Rogers famously said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'”)
Slavens adds that one of the “primary objectives” of parents, caregivers, and other adults in kids’ lives is to “validate their feelings while offering them some perspective.”
“If they’re afraid, it’s not wrong to say, ‘I get why this feels scary, but let’s talk about the ways we’re safe.’ So it is also a chance to acknowledge the helpers — the firefighters, the rescue teams, the volunteers —because it shows them that people are coming together and making it better,” she says.
It takes a village!
If you still need help with the bigger, more general conversation, there’s lots of it out there. The Climate Reality Project published an e-book on how families can start conversations about climate change, and NASA’s Climate Kids site offers practical suggestions for ways kids can reduce their own carbon footprint, such as turning off lights when they’re not needed and drinking tap water instead of bottled water.
And if they need a young climate activist to inspire them to take action, look no further than Swedish teenager Greta Thunberg, whose rousing “You have stolen my dreams and my childhood” United Nations speech to world leaders has hopefully spurred millions of people — of all ages — to take action.
A version of this article was published in 2020.
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