Every mother’s postpartum experience is different, and mothers can have different postpartum experiences with each baby, as Jamie Otis has discovered in the months after having son Hendrix. The Married at First Sight alum and her husband, Doug Hehner, just revealed on their podcast that at four months postpartum, they still haven’t had sex, People reports. This is totally unlike after the birth of daughter Gracie, and Otis has two very good explanations.
First of all, when Otis was pregnant, doctors discovered she had HPV, and after giving birth she had to have a procedure to remove abnormal cells from her cervix that could otherwise turn into cancer. Those procedures put off sex for 10 weeks postpartum.
But after that, there has been something else blocking her: “I don’t feel like having sex, because I’m frickin’ depressed!” Otis told listeners of Hot Marriage, Cool Parents. “I don’t feel sexy. I don’t feel hot. I’m anxious. I’m insecure.”
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This is every bit as important to talk about as her pre-cancer scare, and Otis has done her best to share what she’s going through, even though it’s been difficult.
“I’m super comfortable being transparent about most things, but this one I’ve been terrified to admit out loud,” the nurse wrote on Instagram in July. “When I heard the doc speak the words ‘post-partum depression,’ I instantly felt like I wasn’t good enough or strong enough to fight the hormones. (The nurse in me *knows* that’s not the case — and I’m working on fighting this feeling.)”
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Having grown up with a mother with mental health issues, Otis has been making an effort to seek help through therapy and exercise. The awful nature of our health-care system has provided an extra hurdle, as her regular therapist stopped accepting insurance, and she is having trouble searching for another one who’s a good fit.
Meanwhile, her husband is just going to have to be patient and not expect her to do anything sexual before she’s ready.
“I’m shy and scared,” she said on her podcast. “I also didn’t have postpartum depression after Gracie. I can’t explain it, the way I feel. It’s not okay, and I’m trying to figure it out.”
We hope everyone reads this story right after reading about Nikki Bella having sex five weeks after giving birth. Both experiences are valid examples of women listening to their bodies, and that’s not going to mean the same thing for everyone.
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