Chrissy Teigen is known for giving followers a raw, personal, unfiltered look at her life and her family of six. So it was no surprise that she shared ultra-intimate details about how she celebrated her birthday. The Cravings author said she had a beautiful lunch with friends, laid with her babies, had hot pot, and hung with her best friend (who we’re guessing is her husband John Legend) in an Instagram post. The carousel included beautiful photos of her and the singer, her and her kiddos, as well as an unexpected tidbit in the caption.
“[I] did ketamine therapy and saw space and time and baby jack and some weird penguins and cried and cried and cried,” she said.
She saw her late son Jack during the ketamine therapy session. That’s so simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming.
In Oct. 2020, Teigen tragically lost her son — who she and Legend had already named Jack — about halfway through her pregnancy when she suffered from a blood clot.
“We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we’ve never felt before,” Teigen wrote on social media, sharing gutwrenching black-and-white photographs of herself and Legend in the hospital. “We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn’t enough.”
In 2022, Teigen revealed that the loss was a life-saving abortion. She said it became “very clear” around halfway through her pregnancy that neither she nor Jack would survive without medical intervention.
“Let’s just call it what it was: It was an abortion,” she said. “…And to be honest, I never, ever put that together until, actually, a few months ago.”
“I fell silent [when I realized that], feeling weird that I hadn’t made sense of it that way,” Teigen continued. “I told the world we had a miscarriage, the world agreed we had a miscarriage, all the headlines said it was a miscarriage. And I became really frustrated that I didn’t, in the first place, say what it was, and I felt silly that it had taken me over a year to actually understand that we had had an abortion.”
Since the loss of Jack, Teigen has been open about having a lot of grief and therapy. She has also welcomed babies Esti and Wren. And though they and their big siblings Luna and Miles can never fill Jack’s place, Teigen said her four kids have filled her heart with so much love she could “explode into 1 million pieces.”
Our hearts reach out to Teigen after she said she saw baby Jack. We have no doubt she did cry and cry and cry. Those could have been tears of sorrow, and/or closure, and/or a million other feelings, and we desperately feel for the mama who must miss her son every day.
Before you go, check out Chrissy Teigen’s best quotes about being a mom.
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