Male readers beware: There is about to be talk of — *gasp!* — menstruation.
A dad who claims he’s totally cool with periods because he has six sisters and a wife of 18 years, joined the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA?)” subreddit yesterday to talk about the state of his daughter’s uterus. (Off to a great start, right? Involving the internet in your 13-year-old’s period?)
The man who originally posted (the “OP”) said that he and his wife also share a 10-year-old son. He started the post by explaining that they recently “fell into some financial struggle” and “damage of their home” so they’ve been renting a 2-bedroom apartment in which his kids share a room.
“Please no judgment on here about this, [because it will] change soon,” he said, never explaining how this is all related.
The Main Story
Moving on, OP explained that his daughter gets really bad periods just like her mom. The problem (ya know, besides all the joys of menstruating) is that OP thinks his daughter is taking advantage of her brother.
“[She] has him running to the fridge for her, grabbing everything for her, even adjusting the TV volume and the LED lights. It makes me glad that he wants to help her but he cannot do everything for her,” OP said. “When I brought this up to my son my wife became very angry at me and said I was going to discourage our son and I should be proud he’s learning early.”
Continued Arguing
OP reportedly told his wife he is proud but that he’s worried she’s “taking advantage of him.”
“He can help grab things for her if he wishes but going so far to adjust AC, the TV volume, getting up at her every call is a bit far,” OP wrote.
His wife got angry with him and told him he’d never understand. (Um, does she not remember that he grew up with six sisters and is thus “very knowledgeable?” *Eye roll*) She then told him he would ruin their son’s “helpful mindset,” but OP insists he’s just trying to help. And so he asked Reddit, “AITA for not letting my son be my daughter’s servant due to a period?”
Reddit’s Reaction
OP was asked in the comments if his son says no when his sister asks for help, and the response is very telling. “He doesn’t,” OP said, “he likes to help.” And so Reddit is fully team YTA (you’re the a—hole).
“So you have a daughter with debilitating periods, a son who loves his sister and wants to help her. The only conflict here is the one you’re creating,” said the top comment, with nearly 12 thousand upvotes. “For some people, small acts of service are a way of showing love, and for some people debilitating pain has them needing those small gestures to get through the moment.”
The wise Redditor continued, saying the situation seems to work for everyone involved, except for OP and his “vague principle” of what it would mean for his son to be “taken advantage of.” They said there are other “approaches” OP could take, should he feel the need to step in.
“Maybe talk to her when she’s feeling better about how she can show her appreciation for all he does when she needs it. Maybe step up and help her yourself so he doesn’t have to as much.”
Oop!
Others replied saying they love the idea of teaching reciprocity and said it will “strengthen their sibling bond.”
“Learning how to show our siblings we appreciate them + return favors is a huge underrated life skill [in my opinion] just based on all the drama I read on this sub.”
Plus! Redditors had to take a second to appreciate the fact that this 10-year-old is learning about periods and not being shielded from tampons like other kids on Reddit. “Men who don’t giggle or get grossed out about periods are worth their weight in gold,” one person said after a long conversation about men who successfully buy their partners tampons and pads.
AITA for not letting my son be my daughters servant due to a period?
byu/Legitimate-Claim-102 inAmItheAsshole
Reddit says OP needs to believe that his son is able to take action if he feels “enslaved” … and also, believe that his daughter really is suffering.
“If she’s having such debilitating pain she needs help with adjusting the TV volume … she’s not okay,” one Redditor said. “This is giving misogynistic undertones as you’re insinuating that your daughter’s pain isn’t as bad as she says it is and should be doing those things herself. I would also bet my life that if your son was in this much pain and your daughter was taking care of him you wouldn’t be complaining.”
“Because she would just be naturally caretaking amirite?” another chimed in. “This does whiff of misogyny doesn’t it?”
“More like reeks of it,” someone else said.
Others said they bet OP wouldn’t have written this post if his 10-year-old was also a girl, or if his 13-year-old had broken a leg instead of being on her period.
“Ya as soon as I read that, I was like ooooo classic misogyny coming through 🙄🙄🙄”
Hopefully these comments help OP realize where he went wrong and how he too can help his daughter by the time her next cycle comes. Until then, way to go, little bro!
Before you go, check out some of Reddit AITA‘s biggest fiascos where everyone is to blame.
Leave a Comment