If you can barely keep your eyes open reading this, you — like this sleep-deprived mom who posted on Reddit — don’t have any time for pleasantries. While most people who come to the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA?)” subreddit start their posts with some lighthearted context, she went in hard on her post.
“I might just be exhausted and burnt out so give it to me right up the rectum,” she started things off. Right up the rectum! Oftentimes people hope to find out they’re not the a—hole in the situation, but this woman who originally posted (the “OP”) is desperate to find out if she would be the “a—holiest person” if she told her in-laws they need to come to her if they want to see their grandchild.
You see, she works full-time, her husband is a resident physician who works 80-90 hours per week, and they have a 7-month-old daughter who only sleeps through the night a couple of times a week. And yet, a visit to her in-laws is on the table.
The Trip
“I’m exhausted y’all,” she repeated, “and the last thing I want to do Saturday morning is to pack up my infant and drive three hours with my hollow shell of a husband to go lay on a sunken mattress and listen to older southern ladies screech buttery nonsense at my daughter while she cries because she doesn’t like strangers.”
“And when would this be happening?” you ask. On OP’s husband’s “ONE WEEKEND OFF THIS MONTH.”
“I’m more bitter than the coffee that has replaced the blood in my veins,” she said.
Comparisons and caps lock aside, OP said her in-laws are “kind people” even if they’re not who she would choose to be friends with. She knows they love their granddaughter, and that’s what really matters. But she does not want to do this trip, and she’s wondering how to broach the subject.
“I’m seriously thinking about just saying, ‘Hey, I️ know our guest room isn’t as comfortable as your own home but we’re tired and these trips are hard, especially because we’re both really busy with work right now and (granddaughter) isn’t really on a regular schedule by any means. She’s changing all the time plus she doesn’t love the car. We know you love her. If you’d like to spend the weekend with her, please come to us.”
Would sending that text make her the a—hole?
Reddit’s Reaction
Not only are Redditors backing this mom’s decision to stay put, but they’re also taking the time to write out alternate texts.
“I’d probably phrase it this way,” said the top comment. “hi X and Y! (use their names to sound respectful and friendly) Sorry we can’t visit yet as everything’s crazy exhausting right now. These trips are hard, especially because we’re both really packed with work right now and (granddaughter) still isn’t on a regular schedule by any means. She’s changing all the time plus she doesn’t love the car. We know you love her. Hope to be able to visit as soon as load and energy permit, but in the meantime, if you’d like to spend a weekend with her, you’re very much welcome to come and stay over. We’d love to have Baby spend a few days bonding with GMa and Gpa!”
Bing, bang, boom! Perfect, right?! OP certainly thought so, responding, “Oh this is brilliant, thank you!!”
“I’d suggest adding something about everybody knowing how fussy and loud babies can be and saying that, ‘If you’d prefer getting a hotel room to our guest room, we won’t be insulted,'” someone else added.
Others insisted the husband should be the one to send the text. OP doesn’t need this on her plate, they’re his parents, and it’s likely they’ll respond better to him. “My mother will be understanding about ANYTHING if I tell her, but absolutely nothing if my wife does,” one person said. “‘Oh, but can’t you just… Are you sure that’s really a problem?’ Yeah, definitely a call for him to make!”
Amidst the helpful bits of advice was an off-topic, but spot-on, conversation:
“I think you should also become a writer though because that post was very entertaining to read lol”
“Agreed. I particularly enjoyed ‘buttery nonsense’. Sounds like a delicious pastry.”
A delicious pastry that hopefully OP doesn’t have to bite into any time soon.
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