You’ve heard time and again how harmful excessive screen time and social media usage is for a child’s physical and mental health. They need to get off the couch and move and they need to stop the endless scrolling that has been proven to lower their self-esteem. But that’s a whole lot easier said than done because the allure of screens can be all-consuming — and we adults know that personally.
And therein lies part of the problem.
According to new research, one of the biggest predictors of how much time kids spend on screens — positive or otherwise (sometimes it’s educational!) — is how much time parents use their own devices around their kids.
“Even if teens say that they don’t get influenced by their parents, the data does show that, actually, parents are a bigger influence than they may think,” says Jason Nagata, pediatrician at the University of California, San Francisco and the lead author of the study.
Read: If they see you scrolling away, they’re more inclined to do the same.
The study examined data from more than 10 thousand 12- and 13-year-olds and their parents. Participants were asked about their screen time habits such as texting, social media, video chatting, watching videos, and generally using the internet. T(w)eens were then asked if they thought it was problematic (was it interfering with their school work and daily life?).
And so what does Nagata’s finding mean? Parents need to model better screen time behaviors. They need to put down the phone — even if it pains them to do so. (Guilty!)
This research supports previous anecdotal findings from experts like Jenny Radesky, developmental-behavioral pediatrician, media researcher at the University of Michigan, and co-medical director of the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP) Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health.
“We’ve heard a lot from teenagers that when their parents are using their phones, they’re really stuck on their own social media accounts — they just look unavailable,” Radesky said per NPR. “They don’t look like they’re ready and available for a teen to come up and talk and be a sounding board.”
So what do parents do? Add this to the list of parenting decisions they can feel guilty about? No, Radesky said parents should take time to talk with their kids about why everyone feels so addicted to their screens. And then find a way to set boundaries together — instead of just endlessly scrolling on the couch or using screens as a reward or punishment.
This is all very reminiscent of a nugget of wisdom Kristen Bell shared on Instagram last year. The actress and mom of two reshared a post from Dr. John Delony on her Story that had us rethinking everything.
“Look your children in their eyes,” the post said. “As soon as you hear their voice, put down your phone and look them in their eyes.”
“Even if you just have to tell them that you need some time to finish a project, read an email, or send a text,” he continued. “But don’t talk to a child without making eye contact. Your children deserve more respect and dignity than a fancy metal box.”
They deserve that respect and dignity and, hopefully, when they see you put down your device, they’ll be inspired to do the same.
Before you go, check out these celebrities who have shared their technology rules for their kids.
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