Ryan Reynolds got candid about a full-circle parenting moment, and the raw new interview is hard to read without crying. If you are a parent who has tried to do things differently from your own parents, then you will understand how challenging (and emotional!) it can be to break generational cycles — and give yourself the love and grace that you might have missed out on as a child. That’s exactly where Reynolds is at when parenting his kids James, 9, Inez, 7, Betty, 4, and Olin, 1, who he shares with wife Blake Lively.
The Deadpool & Wolverine star revealed that he has complicated memories of his dad James Chester Reynolds, who died in 2015 after living with Parkinson’s disease for nearly 20 years. In an interview with PEOPLE, the dad of four shared that he takes what he admired about his dad, and changes what he didn’t, when parenting his own kids.
“The healing for me really comes more through my relationship with my own kids, while taking some of the things from my father that are of immense value,” Reynolds told the outlet. “My dad had incredible integrity. He did not lie.”
However, he wasn’t perfect. And Reynolds is making a conscious effort to do some things differently. “[Now] I get to fill in those little gaps that maybe hurt me. I get to show up,” he explained.
Reynolds even gave an example of moment when he purposely chooses a different path. “When my kid is acting out or telling me I’m the worst — my dad would retreat into the power of silence, and that is not the way to acknowledge your kid,” he explained. “So to be able to get down on their level and just tell them that I believe them and that I’m here for them . . . I’m like, ‘Oh, okay. I just weirdly didn’t mean to, but I fixed something with my own dad.’”
Wow, this really hit hard. Like Reynolds, I also parent my kids with a little more patience and grace then my own parents did. It doesn’t mean I love my mom and dad any less — I acknowledge that they were doing the best they could with the resources they had at the time. Plus, they are just human, like everyone else. Still, seeing how getting down on his kids’ level and showing them how much he cares and listens to his kids? It’s truly beautiful, and I love how it helps him heal from some of his own childhood experiences.
The IF star gave another insight into his parenting in an Oct. 2023 interview with PEOPLE. “It’s genuine when I say I take a huge interest in their days and how things are going,” he said. “For me, the best time of my day is walking them to school and walking them back. I think as parents, we are so much better equipped to handle the rigors of childhood through our kids now than when I was a kid. It’s just totally different now. People are much more self-aware.”
“And that’s the thing we sort of hang our hat on the most is self-awareness with our kids,” he continued. “Not be happy, not be anything, just be self-aware and welcome everything in.”
Before you go, check out Ryan Reynolds’ very best girl dad moments.
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