Meet Jill Smokler of Scary Mommy

You say in your blog that you recycle most of your kids’ artwork (which I totally understand as a good move considering that I have no less than six extra large tupperware totes of papers with scribbles on them taking up half my garage). But have you ever gotten caught by your children and if so, what did you say?

Yes! I was busted red handed when my kids came home early on a day that the recycling pickup was running behind. I simply stammered, “Oh, no! How on earth did that happen?!” and took everything back inside. I overcompensated by framing some of the water-stained pieces and felt badly for days. Now, I’m careful to sneak things out at night when I know they won’t see. Who on earth has room for all that crap?

I read somewhere that an English professor once told you that writing was not your thing. What would you like to say to that professor now?

I still don’t think of myself as a writer. I write the way I talk, not in some beautiful and elegant prose. I consider myself a blogger. But I would like to spit in his face. He was an ass.

Tell me about your ideal sister wife.

It’s scary how often I fantasize about this. She would be pretty, but not too pretty. I don’t want to look at a dog all day, but I also don’t want to feel ugly in comparison. She would be an amazing cook, but an even better cleaner. Ideally, she would be some sort of clean freak who vacuums multiple times a day and makes the beds with hospital corners. She would be barren (I hate other people’s kids), but adore my three. She would idolize me, of course, but not in a psycho-stalker way. She would just thrive on making my family happy. What? That’s not how it works?

Did you read any blogs before you started your own? How many blogs do you follow now? How many hours do you spend a day blogging (including writing posts, responding to comments on your blog, commenting on other blogs you follow and any other blog-related social media)?

Loralee’s Looney Tunes was one of the first blogs I ever read, along with Redneck Mommy and Playgroups Are No Place for Children. I feel a fondness for them, still. These days, I pretty much read the people I feel like I grew up with: Pauline from Classy Chaos, Marinka from Motherhood in NYC and Rachael from A Southern Fairytale come to mind. There’s something special about feeling like you go way back with a blogger. How many hours a day do I spend on all of this? Too many. A large majority. It helps that I don’t sleep.

If you could spend a week doing anything you wanted in the whole wide world (think fantasy here), what would you do?

I would take my family to Tahiti. (It’s fantasy, so we would just appear there without having to deal with any of the travel.) My husband and I would revisit everything we did there on our honeymoon (walks on the beach, jet-skiing, spa treatments, etc.) and the kids would spend blissful days at the beach with the very best nannies. At dinner, we would all meet up and feast on seafood and cheese and chocolate and watch the sun set together. The kids would sleep in a room with their nannies and then come wake us up at 10 for a family breakfast. Rinse and repeat for seven blissful days.

Sigh. This question was just plain mean. I really need a vacation.

What have you gained from blogging? What are your ultimate goals as a writer?

The biggest thing I learned was that I actually like to write! I’d never, ever enjoyed writing before, so that was a pretty amazing lesson to learn. My goals are always changing and evolving. I would love to see my brand expand more — logos on apparel and accessories and hope to see the community aspect of my site continue to thrive.

More about blogging

• The many benefits of starting a blog
• Should I blog anonymously?
• Blogging is good for your health