Michelle and Barack Obama celebrate their 29th wedding anniversary on October 3 and we’re celebrating too, by revisiting some of their best parenting quotes. And boy, do we have a lot of gems to choose from. Since retiring from the White House in 2016, the former presidential couple has been entirely focused on their two daughters Malia, 23, who is working in television, and Sasha, 19, who is attending college at the University of Michigan.
And although we know very little about the girls’ private lives as individuals — try as the tabloids and conspiracy theorists did, Sasha and Malia have never been the source of scandal — Barack and Michelle have shared the sweetest anecdotes about raising children, both and in out of the White House, including parenting on the busy campaign trail, welcoming their daughters home during the COVID-19 lockdown, and their hopes and fears for Sasha and Malia.
“The problem is we just don’t make progress in a straight line,” Barack told Conan O’Brien in May about raising girls in a culture ingrained with systemic racism. “We have to be vigilant; we have to work hard, we have to push and be resilient. That, I think, is what I hope I’ve instilled in my daughters, and Michelle’s instilled in our daughters.”
But the couple has also offered us lighter parenting tidbits such as Barack’s “dad humor” (jokes which he’s admitted mortify his children) and Michelle’s self-proclaimed role as “Mom-In-Chief” to acknowledge the importance of motherhood.
It’s clear why these two are unofficially America’s mom and dad. Happy anniversary, you two!
On Being a Girl Dad
“The second best piece of advice I’ve got for fathers of girls is not only love them unconditionally, but treat their moms great, the former president said in May on The Late Late Show. “Your daughters are watching how their mom’s being treated. So if they see that you love and respect and support their mom, then when they get older that’s what they’re going to expect for themselves. And that’s worked out pretty well for me.”
Embracing the Responsibilities of Fatherhood
Earlier this year, Barack remarked that fatherhood was a real game-changer, in his joint podcast “Renegades: Born in the USA” with Bruce Springsteen. “This is one place where I do think the idea of what it means to be a man changed in a real way,” he said. “By the time I had Malia, it wasn’t just that I was completely absorbed and fascinated and in love with this bundle of joy, and this woman who had gone through everything to give me this joy. There was, I think, a sense that, ‘Oh, dads should want to spend time with their kids and should want to burp ’em and change diapers.'”
Teaching Their Daughters Gender Equality
In Spain, while promoting her Let Girls Learn initiative in Spain, Michelle spoke of eliminating gender stereotypes. “Maybe it means telling your sons that it’s okay to cry, and your daughters that it’s okay to be bossy,” she said. “Maybe it means encouraging your daughters, not just your son, to study math and science and sign up for the football team. And if there isn’t a team for girls, maybe it means asking why not.”
On Letting Go
In 2019, Michelle opened up to British Vogue about the slow pain of watching one’s children grow up. “Being a mother has been a master class in letting go. Try as we might, there’s only so much we can control,” she said. “And, boy, have I tried – especially at first. As mothers, we just don’t want anything or anyone to hurt our babies. But life has other plans. Bruised knees, bumpy roads and broken hearts are part of the deal. What’s both humbled and heartened me is seeing the resiliency of my daughters.”
On Protecting His Daughters From Heartbreak
In December, Barack revealed that Malia was in a relationship with a British man (who we later learned is former college student Rory Farquharson). “He’s British … wonderful young man, and he was sort of stuck because there was a whole visa thing and he had a job set up,” he said on the Bill Simmons podcast. “So we took him in and I didn’t want to like him, but he’s a good kid.”
He added, “The only thing you discover — this is not a surprise to you, Bill, because you’ve got a son — young men eat. It’s weird to watch them consume food. My grocery bill went up about 30 percent.”
On Having Empathy for Working Moms
Before becoming one of the most powerful women in America, Michelle worked as a lawyer and in academia. And she never forgot what it was like straddling work and home life. “Trust me, I’ve been there. It wasn’t so long ago that I was a working mom myself,” she said in a 2011 speech. “And I know that sometimes, much as we all hate to admit it, it’s just easier to park the kids in front of the TV for a few hours, so we can pay the bills or do the laundry or just have some peace and quiet for a change.”
Dad Humor That Doesn’t Quit
It’s hard to pick the best “dad joke” from the former president’s oral history. But a comment he made at the 2009 White House Correspondents’ Association dinner is pretty notable “Sasha and Malia aren’t here tonight because they’re grounded,” he joked. “You can’t just take Air Force One on a joy ride to Manhattan. I don’t care whose kids you are.”
Being an Involved Parent
“It’s a wonderful thing if you are married and living in a home with your children, but don’t just sit in the house and watch ‘SportsCenter’ all weekend long,” Barack said in a 2008 Father’s Day speech. “That’s why so many children are growing up in front of the television. As fathers and parents, we’ve got to spend more time with them, and help them with their homework, and replace the video game or the remote control with a book once in awhile.”
Dads Have to Step Up
“We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. What makes you a man is not the ability to have a child — it’s the courage to raise one.” — Barack Obama’s Father’s Day Speech at Apostolic Church of God in Chicago in 2008
On Worrying Their Daughters Will Experience Racism
“They’re driving, but every time they get in a car by themselves, I worry about what assumption is being made by somebody who doesn’t know everything about them—the fact that they are good students and polite girls, but maybe they’re playing their music a little loud. Maybe somebody sees the back of their head and makes an assumption,” Michelle Obama told CBS This Morning in May 2021.
She continued, “Like so many parents of Black kids…the innocent act of getting a license puts fear in our hearts. I think we have to talk about it more and we have to ask our fellow citizens to listen a bit more and to believe us and to know that we don’t want to be out there marching.”
On How Time Is Different As Parents
“When Malia and Sasha were newborns, Barack and I could lose hours just watching them sleep,” Michelle Obama told Meghan Markle in Vogue UK. “We loved to listen to the little sounds they’d make – especially the way they cooed when they were deep into dreaming. There is something so magical about having a baby in the house. Time expands and contracts; each moment holds its own little eternity.”
Teaching Them Material Things Don’t Matter
“It’s forced us to continue to sit down with each other, have real conversations, really ask questions and figure out how to keep ourselves occupied without just TV or computers. It’s a good exercise in reminding us that we just don’t need a lot of the stuff that we have,” Michelle told Ellen DeGeneres of quarantining with the girls. “We can do with a lot less, and I think that’s an important lesson I want my kids to understand. Be grateful for what you have and be ready to share it when the time comes.”
On the Importance of Chores
“We made sure they had responsibilities, and so, we had to do things like, institute rules that the housekeepers couldn’t clean the girls’ rooms, and that they had to make up their own beds, and have a set of chores,” Michelle said on her podcast interview with her brother Craig. “We grew up … each of us had our own set of responsibilities. … I know I had to clean the bathroom, we each had to do the dishes.”
Letting Sasha & Malia Find Their Way
“Most of the time, my job is to give them the space to explore and develop into the people they want to be,” Michelle told Meghan Markle in Vogue UK. “I need to be a safe and consistent place for them to land when they inevitably fail; and to show them, again and again, how to get up on their own.”
On the Unique Perspective of Children
“After I received the news, Malia walked in and said, ‘Daddy, you won the Nobel Peace Prize, and it is Bo’s birthday.’ And then Sasha added, ‘Plus, we have a three-day weekend coming up.’ So it’s — it’s good to have kids to keep things in perspective.” — President Obama’s speech after receiving the Nobel Peace Prize
The Torture of Having a Sick Kid
“People ask me what was the hardest time in my life — they ask, well what about during the debt ceiling debate and this and that and the other thing,” Barack Obama said. “Sasha got meningitis when she was 3 months old. I still remember going to the hospital together and they had to give her a spinal tap. Your world narrows to this very small point. … There’s one thing you care about and you don’t care about anything else.”
Parents Are Teachers Too
“Michelle and I know that our first job, our first responsibility, is instilling a sense of learning, a sense of a love of learning in our kids,” the former president said in a speech in 2011. “And so there are no shortcuts there; we have to do that job. And we can’t just blame teachers and schools if we’re not instilling that commitment, that dedication to learning, in our kids.”
Moms Need Self-Care Too
“When I get up and work out, I’m working out just as much for my girls as I am for me, because I want them to see a mother who loves them dearly, who invests in them, but who also invests in herself. It’s just as much about letting them know as young women that it is OK to put yourself a little higher on your priority list.” — Michelle in Prevention magazine
Giving Them Valuable Career Advice
“I tried to make the point to Malia that the young people … who are my mentees, I reminded her that they started out, several of them, in the campaign, doing some of the grunt-iest jobs.” — Michelle on her podcast
Why Education Matters
No matter how unique her children’s life experience, education is a priority in the Obama household. “There is no boy at this age that is cute enough or interesting enough to stop you from getting your education,” she said in 2015 during Glamour‘s “The Power of an Educated Girl” event. “If I had worried about who liked me and who thought I was cute when I was your age, I wouldn’t be married to the president of the United States.”
Leave a Comment