When Michelle Obama was the First Lady, she often seemed like the fun class mom we all wished we could be and have: Self-assured, warm, and fully into whatever activity she’d been tasked with, whether by choice or by official duty. Now, after spending so much time reading her books, watching her documentary, and enjoying her interviews and speeches, we know that there’s so much more to the attorney-turned-politician’s-wife-turned-media mogul — and we’re taking the time to honor all the wisdom she’s shared about motherhood.
As Michelle raised daughters Sasha, 21, and Malia, 24, in the public eye, we were able to get a glimpse of her mothering style, even with her and former President Barack Obama guarding their daughters’ privacy pretty vehemently. But she’s spent the past few years revealing more about the parenting that went on before they moved to the White House, as well as some behind-the-scenes moments once they were there.
Like any mother, she doesn’t feel like she did a perfect job. But when she looks at the young women Sasha and Malia have become, she should be satisfied with the people she raised — we know we admire her for it!
While promoting her memoir Becoming, Michelle opened up about the difficult journey she and Barack took to become America’s mom and dad. She discussed the hard work her own parents put in to give her and her brother Craig a happy childhood and a good education, and she revealed the steps she took to make sure her much more privileged girls wouldn’t grow up spoiled. Now that both she and Barack are looking to keep inspiring future generations, Michelle continues to drop wisdom about making sure our kids know love, freedom, and the drive to do good for others.
We’ve already gathered inspirational words of parenting wisdom from both Obamas, but we could continue to fill up dozens more pages with Michelle Obama’s best mom quotes — which is what we’re doing with some of our favorites here.
A version of this article was originally published in January 2021.
The Hardest Part of Parenting
“As a parent, that’s a hard thing to come to grips with as your child grows up and is out there in that big, bad world, is that you can prepare and love them all that you can, and you still don’t have control. There are no guarantees that their life is going to work out, and something bad may happen. That is the hardest thing about parenting, is living with that truth.” — During a 2022 conversation with NPR
Evolving With Your Kids
“You have to be ready for your kids to evolve. Who they are at 4 and 7 is not — and what they need from you — is very different from what they need from you as teenagers and then again as young women.” — During a 2022 conversation with NPR
Enjoying Every Stage to the Fullest
“If you’ve laid a foundation of trust and honesty, every stage, I’ve found, is wonderful. It’s full. It’s exciting. I don’t miss any stage — I loved every stage of parenting my girls, but I wouldn’t go back to any of the stages… Now that they’re young women, and now I’m less of a day-to-day manager and more of an advisor, there’s a freedom to enjoy them as individuals, to watch them grow.” — During a 2022 conversation with NPR
How Parents Made America Great
“That’s the story of America: All those folks who sacrificed and overcame so much in their own times because they wanted something more, something better for their kids.” — At the 2020 Democratic National Convention
Taking Inspiration From Her Own Mom
“When we were growing up, [my mom] always gave us the space to ask questions and share our ideas. And she always took us seriously, carefully considering what we had to say and responding with thoughtful questions, and plenty of encouragement. All along, she was empowering us to be ourselves, kindling the unique flame burning inside each of us. She laid out the blueprint for how I have raised my own girls.” — In a 2020 Mother’s Day tribute to her mom on Instagram
Instilling Responsibility Through Chores
“We made sure they had responsibilities, and so, we had to do things like, institute rules that the housekeepers couldn’t clean the girls’ rooms, and that they had to make up their own beds, and have a set of chores. [When] we grew up … each of us had our own set of responsibilities. … I know I had to clean the bathroom, we each had to do the dishes.” — During a conversation with her brother, Craig, in an episode of the Michelle Obama Podcast
Slowing Down & Appreciating Life
“This is like no other time in history, especially for our kids who are so used to being occupied and stimulated all the time. It’s forced us to continue to sit down with each other, have real conversations, really ask questions and figure out how to keep ourselves occupied without just TV or computers.
“It’s a good exercise in reminding us that we just don’t need a lot of the stuff that we have. We can do with a lot less, and I think that’s an important lesson I want my kids to understand. Be grateful for what you have and be ready to share it when the time comes.” — During a virtual conversation with Ellen Degeneres in 2020
What She Learned From Her Mother
“It’s up to us, as mothers and mother-figures, to give the girls in our lives the kind of support that keeps their flame lit and lifts up their voices — not necessarily with our own words, but by letting them find the words themselves.” — In her 2019 Mother’s Day essay in People
Parenting Means Letting Go
“Being a mother has been a master class in letting go. Try as we might, there’s only so much we can control. And, boy, have I tried — especially at first. As mothers, we just don’t want anything or anyone to hurt our babies. But life has other plans. Bruised knees, bumpy roads and broken hearts are part of the deal. What’s both humbled and heartened me is seeing the resiliency of my daughters.” — In 2019 to Meghan Markle in British Vogue
Motherhood’s True Lessons
“Motherhood has taught me that, most of the time, my job is to give them the space to explore and develop into the people they want to be. Not who I want them to be or who I wish I was at that age, but who they are, deep inside.
“Motherhood has also taught me that my job is not to bulldoze a path for them in an effort to eliminate all possible adversity. But instead, I need to be a safe and consistent place for them to land when they inevitably fail; and to show them, again and again, how to get up on their own.” — In 2019 to Meghan Markle in British Vogue
Miscarriages Are So Common & Still Painful
“I felt like I failed because I didn’t know how common miscarriages were, because we don’t talk about them. We sit in our own pain, thinking that somehow we’re broken. So that’s one of the reasons why I think it’s important to talk to young mothers about the fact that miscarriages happen.” — In 2018 on Good Morning America
Why Careers So Often Take a Back Seat for Moms
“When you get married and have kids, your whole plan, once again, gets upended. Especially if you get married to somebody who has a career that swallows up everything, which is what politics is.” — In 2018 to Oprah in Elle
Rejecting the Patriarchy at Dinner
“When it came to the home-for-dinner dilemma, I installed new boundaries, ones that worked better for me and the girls. We made our schedule and stuck to it. … It went back to my wishes for them to grow up strong and centered and also unaccommodating to any form of old-school patriarchy: I didn’t want them ever to believe that life began when the man of the house arrived home. We didn’t wait for Dad. It was his job now to catch up with us.” — In her 2018 memoir, Becoming
Protecting the Optimism of Children
“Kids wake up each day believing in the goodness of things, in the magic of what might be. They’re uncynical, believers at their core. We owe it to them to stay strong and keep working to create a more fair and humane world. For them, we need to remain both tough and hopeful, to acknowledge that there’s more growing to be done.” — In her 2018 memoir, Becoming
Put Yourself First — Yes, Yourself
“When you have children, you have to be fiercely organized to get anything done. I learned that if I don’t put myself up on the priority list, somehow my kids will eventually get knocked down on that list.” — At the 2017 Obama Foundation Summit
Fathers vs. Mothers
“When a father puts in long hours at work, he’s praised for being dedicated and ambitious. But when a mother stays late at the office, she’s sometimes accused of being selfish, neglecting her kids.” — At the 2016 Let Girls Learn event in Madrid
Our Kids Are Watching
“With every word we utter, with every action we take, we know our kids are watching us. We as parents are their most important role models. And let me tell you, Barack and I take that same approach to our jobs as President and First Lady because we know that our words and actions matter, not just to our girls, but the children across this country, kids who tell us ‘I saw you on TV, I wrote a report on you for school.'” — At the 2016 Democratic National Convention
Fighting For Her Kids
“I come here as a mom whose girls are the heart of my heart and the center of my world — they’re the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I think about when I go to bed at night. Their future — and all our children’s future — is my stake in this election.” — In her 2008 Democratic National Convention speech
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