Talking about the birds and the bees with your kids — you know, “the talk” — isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Many of us grew up in a generation where we learned about sex in school, or from friends, and maybe had an awkward conversation with our parents that led to them giving us a book about how babies are made. And of course, there was always that one household where sex was discussed openly, so there was never any embarrassment about it.
As willing as celebrities are to discuss sex in interviews, when it comes to their kids, they admit they often struggle with the conversation at home too. The burden is often placed on moms to start the dialogue, but that has to stop, according to Elizabeth Banks, who has her own sex education podcast called My Body, My Podcast. “We have to get more men involved in the conversation,” she told Stephen Colbert. “Because one of the things we talk about on the podcast is how much emotional baggage men — husbands, fathers, and brothers — leave to the women in their lives.”
Padma Lakshmi started the conversation early with her daughter, so each year, she’s added more depth to their chats in an age-appropriate way, especially since she has an inquisitive daughter. “We’re starting to talk about puberty, and that’s happening earlier for girls,” the Top Chef judge explained to The Washington Post. “She’s full of questions. She has no reluctance. She’s very bold.”
The less shame around the topic, the better it is for kids (and yes, mom and dad, too). So get talking, and pick up a few tips from celeb parents on how they handled sex ed — from masturbation to consent — in their household.
A version of this article was originally published in November 2021.
Dax Shepard & Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have always been open about their progressive parenting choices because they wanted to create open lines of communication for daughters Lincoln and Delta. Shepard had a frank discussion about consent with guest Gwyneth Paltrow on a recent episode of his Armchair Expert podcast and how they are approaching the topic with their kids.
“I do not want my daughters to have sex so that they can get approval from somebody,” the actor revealed. He then explained that his wife found age-appropriate ways to talk consent with their daughters.”You’re in charge of this and you will decide to put this in your vagina,” he added. “Not ‘the man puts his penis in your vagina.’ You are in the driver’s seat.”
Jada Pinkett Smith
Followers have seen how Jada Pinkett Smith approaches conversations about sex with her daughter, Willow on their Facebook Watch show, Red Table Talk. The actress has been criticized for talking openly about her own experiences, but Jada has reasons for giving Willow a real perspective on sexuality.
“People are like, ‘Oh do you think that’s appropriate for Willow?’ I’m like, ‘Hell yeah, that’s appropriate for Willow,’” Jada said on the show in 2018. “Is it life? If I have to sit up here and tell her that she has to be careful in these streets because of all the harms that may come to her because she’s a young woman, I’m damn sure not leaving out the good stuff.”
That has led to discussions on the show about masturbation to monogamy and Willow’s confidence to tell her mom — and their viewers — that she is polyamorous. “That feeling of ‘you’re my one and my only, there’s no else,’ for me, that would not work,” she shared.
Gwyneth Paltrow
With Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop empire, which frequently touches upon women’s sexuality, it was surprising to learn on Red Table Talk that it wasn’t mom who first taught daughter Apple and son Moses about the birds and the bees — it was their school.
“They, at their elementary school in 6th grade, had the craziest sex ed talk, it was incredible,” Paltrow told Jada Pinkett Smith. “But, full-on everything, like they learned everything.”
And mom realized that maybe she also needed to open the lines of communication after seeing her daughter’s reaction to what she learned in sex ed class. “I will never forget Apple’s face when she came home,” Paltrow added, “[The teacher] told them everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything.”
Kate Hudson & Goldie Hawn
It’s probably no surprise to anyone that Kate Hudson grew up in a free-spirited household with mom Goldie Hawn, where the sex conversation flowed naturally.
“What did you teach me about sex? There are so many things,” Hudson revealed in a People interview with her mom. “We talk a lot about sex. Surprisingly.”
Hawn started the conversation when her daughter was a young girl with frankness about her own sex life. “I said, ‘I want you to understand something about Mommy. I’m not a prude. I love sex.’”
“Oh, that’s right,” Hudson recalled. “And then she said, ‘Sex is so much fun. But it’s better when it’s with one person.’ And that was a good lesson.”
Brooke Shields
Brooke Shields had to get serious about sex education after her oldest daughter Rowan Googled “How to Make a Baby” online. At the time, she “cring[ed] anytime mom tried to bring up the topic,” but Shields got serious with her. “And I say to her, ‘Listen, if you can’t say penis or you can’t talk about sex… then you can’t watch these R-rated movies you want to watch,” she told Fox News. “They’re not as prepared as they think they are, so I broach it all the time.”
Even if it wasn’t easy for Rowan to deal with, the former model, who was thrown into hypersexualized film roles as a child star, knew that “the safest place to talk about [sex]” was at home.
Jennifer Garner
Jennifer Garner admits that she grew up with “the best parents in the world,” but she’s still “waiting for the talk” from them — even after having three kids, daughters Violet and Seraphina and son Samuel with ex-husband Ben Affleck.
Because it wasn’t a topic discussed at home when she was a kid, she’s “given it a lot of thought, especially for my daughters.” Garner has sought guidance and taken a more clinical approach to learning — but she still doesn’t know what the perfect formula is. “I’ve gone to hear specialists talk. I’ve read books. It doesn’t mean that I have anything more figured out than anyone else,” she said to Timemagazine. “I want them to see sex as something joyful, as a gift, as a celebration of love and of their bodies. And it makes me feel really cool and hippieish to think of it that way.”
Padma Lakshmi
Padma Lakshmi is not only tackling sex education with her daughter Krishna but she’s also talking about boundaries — which is a topic that can be challenging for many parents.
“Every September, starting with pre-K, I’ve said — and I try to say it in an age-appropriate way — If anyone touches you — whether they are your teacher, principal, policeman, nurse, friend of your dad, relative of your mom, anyone — or makes you touch them in your privates or their privates with their mouth or their hands or somehow makes you feel uncomfortable, you immediately say ‘No!’ really loudly and go and tell a grown-up who you feel safe with.”
The conversation has become so routine for the mother and daughter that Krishna now responds, “I know Mom. I know.” But that hasn’t stopped Lakshmi from advancing the dialogue now that her daughter’s a tween. The Top Chef judge lets her daughter know that “as you get older, it will happen in more subtle ways.”
Elizabeth Banks
Elizabeth Banks has a sex education show, My Body, My Podcast, so it should come as no surprise that she is a straight shooter with her sons Felix and Magnus about the birds and the bees. She recommends that “you should not lie to your kids about it” because “if they ask, it’s because they’re curious and they’re age appropriate.”
“You should tell them straight up what it is,” she explained on The Late Night Show with Stephen Colbert. “If you say ‘stork,’ then later on they’re going to ask, ‘What else did she lie to me about?’ Because they’re going to figure out soon enough it ain’t storks.”
Jessica Biel & Justin Timberlake
Jessica Biel and husband Justin Timberlake took an early approach to teaching their oldest son, Silas, about his body parts. It wasn’t necessarily about sex education, but it was more about their child learning the “technical terms” about his body when he was just a toddler.
The couple wanted to start the discussion early, so “there’s no shame” around the basics of sex. “I don’t want to tell him, ‘Keep your private parts,’ and this and that,” she shared at the 2018 MAKERS Conference, via People. “It’s a beautiful thing. You have it and mine is different and it’s cool, man. We have to respect ourselves and respect each other. So I believe it starts really young.”
Jenny McCarthy
Jenny McCarthy sat down with her son, Evan Asher, when he was 11 years old to give him “the birds and the bees talk” after he had watched a YouTube video of a man driving his wife to the hospital while she was in labor.
“I kind of knew it was time because I accidentally told him … that sex was like feet rubs,” McCarthy told US Weekly. “And I looked on his iPad and there were 2,000 pics of foot rubs and I’m like, ‘Oh my god, he’s going to have a foot fetish for the rest of his life!’ So I just sat down and had the real heart-to-heart talk with him.”
She lovingly revealed that Evan was “horrified” by what sex entails, but she admitted that she “always wants that open discussion” with her son no matter how difficult the conversation can be. McCarthy hoped that her only child would continue to “come to me with whatever he wants always and I will never get mad at him.”
Alyssa Milano
It probably won’t surprise you to hear that Alyssa Milano decided to start talking about sex with her kids at an early age. She wanted to make sure they had an understanding of their bodies and to continue an honest and open dialogue with her son, Milo, and daughter Elizabella beginning at a young age.
“For me, I think it’s raising kids that are socially aware and conscious,” she told US Weekly. “But still have childhoods and aren’t completely terrified from the moment they wake up until the moment they go to sleep like their mother.”
Rod Stewart
Rod Stewart is a grandfather and father who still has kids in his household who are teens. He explained to People that he has to be “several different fathers because of the different age groups of my kids” — and that means adapting to modern times when it comes to a frank talk about sex with his son, Alastair.
“My 15-year-old is dating girls, so I had to give him a sex lesson. I just told him what he should and shouldn’t do, but he’s on top of it. He was like, ‘Dad, I’ve got the internet. I know everything,'” he revealed. So it sounds like a hybrid version of a good old-fashioned chat with dad peppered in with a few questions Googled by his son — Alastair is well-prepared!
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