Navigating pregnancy loss is a highly emotional circumstance for any parents-to-be who have experienced a miscarriage or a stillbirth, and it’s a situation that’s even more complex for parents of older children who are confused about why their new family member is no longer going to arrive.
The topic is undoubtedly heavy, but it’s one that needs to be talked about due to how often it occurs. The Mayo Clinic reports that 10 to 20 percent of all known pregnancies result in miscarriage, with the actual number likely being higher due to many pregnancies failing before an individual is aware they’re pregnant. According to a series of studies published in The Lancet, approximately 23 million miscarriages occur each year, with 1 in 10 women experiencing pregnancy loss in their lifetime. And, per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 21 thousand babies are stillborn each year in the United States.
Chrissy Teigen's daughter Luna did the sweetest thing with baby Jack's ashes. 😭 https://t.co/d6YxeeD8n8
— SheKnows (@SheKnows) November 10, 2020
The number of people sharing their experiences has greatly increased in recent years, with famous figures using their platforms to talk about their own losses in an effort to normalize the traditionally stigmatized circumstance. A select few celebrities have gone as far as vulnerably sharing their experiences of explaining pregnancy loss to their older children, and we greatly admire the way in which they’ve navigated the complex topic with their kids.
From Chrissy Teigen to James Van Der Beek, read on to find out how these famous figures helped their children understand and cope with the loss of a sibling during pregnancy.
A version of this article was published in Oct. 2022.
Alexa PenaVega
Spy Kids star Alexa PenaVega’s daughter Indy was tragically “born at rest” in April 2024. When announcing the loss, PenaVega shared a heartwrenching Instagram post about being “gutted” by the grief that comes in “waves.”
Since the loss of her daughter, PenaVega — who shares kids Ocean, Kingston, and Rio with husband Carlos PenaVega — has been open about how her faith has helped her family through “the most traumatic thing.”
“God has really met us in this place between pain and peace … I have learned so much about pain with purpose,” the actress said in a tearful Instagram video.
“Let me tell you,” she continued. “Indy’s little life has transformed us like completely. My family has never been stronger.”
It became so clear that the family talks about Indy often when one of her sons later popped into the frame, jumped in the air, and said, “Love you, Indy!”
Cristiano Ronaldo
Soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo is a proud dad of five. He shares a teen son Cristiano with a previous partner, twins Eva and Matteo who he welcomed via surrogate, and daughters Alana and Bella with girlfriend Georgina Rodriguez. Tragically, when Bella was born in April 2022, her twin brother, Angel, passed away.
“Only the birth of our baby girl [Bella] gives us the strength to live this moment with some hope and happiness,” Ronaldo said at the time.
In Nov. 2022, he opened up about bringing one baby home when his kids were expecting two siblings.
“Of course [with] Cristiano, I had a conversation with him in the day, because he’s 12 years old, he knows, understands everything, and I had a nice conversation with him,” Ronaldo told Piers Morgan per Cosmopolitan UK. “We cried together in his bedroom and explained and it’s kind of – he doesn’t understand, he does understand, but in the same way he was a little bit confused.”
It wasn’t until a few days later that he told the rest of the bunch. “After one week I say, ‘Let’s be up front and let’s be honest with the kids, let’s say that, Angel, they go to Heaven.'”
Chrissy Teigen & John Legend
Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were extremely open about the loss of their third child, Jack, in September 2020. They were not only transparent about the miscarriage with the public, but also with their children, Luna and Miles, who were 4 and 2 at the time.
During a 2021 interview, Teigen shared how she and Legend had an open dialogue about the loss with their kids, saying, “They saw the experience of the home ultrasounds and the nervousness of ‘This isn’t going well.’ Or it was me going to the bathroom, and Luna would be at the door when I came out, and she would say, ‘Are you bleeding still?’ She knew everything. So there was going to be no escaping it, even if I wanted to.”
She continued, “We told them that we lost him, but it wasn’t really until we got his ashes back, I think, that they started to be able to say, ‘Okay, this happened. Here he is now. He didn’t make it.'”
Teigen spoke of how the family still includes Jack in their daily lives, saying, “We talk about it a lot. What felt comfortable for our family was him always being around. Whether we go on a vacation or something, they always say, ‘Don’t forget baby Jack.’ And then I have to pack him up. And then we get to where we’re going, they’re like, ‘Oh my gosh, he must be thirsty.’ This might sound crazy to people, but they’ll put a little glass of water next to his little box of ashes. And they really love being a part of it.”
Teigen and Legend have since welcomed babies Esti and Wren.
Paula Faris
During a 2020 appearance on The View, Paula Faris shared her experience of miscarrying with her then-12-year-old daughter, Caroline, at her side.
Faris recalled, “I said, ‘I just want to let you know, Mommy is… the baby is probably no longer viable. Mommy doesn’t feel any guilt. This is normal, it happens to so many women. It’s happened to me a couple of other times. When you get pregnant, it might happen to you, honey. And I want you to know there’s nothing you did wrong.'”
Kimberly & James Van Der Beek
Kimberly and James Van Der Beek experienced their third miscarriage in 2019, and a year later, James reflected on the difficult conversation he had to have with their five children — Olivia, Joshua, Annabel, 8, Emilia, 6, and Gwendolyn, 4.
He captioned a series of videos on Instagram, “One year ago today, I had to explain to my then 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 year-old a late term #pregnancyloss while @vanderkimberly was still in the hospital.” He continued, “I’m not sure there’s any one way to do it, since every kid is so different – one bawled immediately, one had questions, one tried to make jokes, one tried to avoid by acting crazy.”
James reflected on the complex parenting moment, writing, “I feel like all you can do when explaining the unimaginable is be present with them. And keep being present with them wherever they’re at, for as long as they need. You can’t process for them, you can’t mitigate their pain, and you can’t dictate their timeline.”
He continued, “They all broke down at different times – and for different reasons. Some still talk about it. Some don’t like to. But I encourage anyone going through this to be as open and honest as we encourage our kids to be about it. When life cracks you open… let your loved ones in. We’re not made to go through this alone.”
The videos show the conversations he had with his children about what happened to their baby brother, and they’re wonderful examples of how to navigate the subject with children.
In October 2021, the Van Der Beeks welcomed Jeremiah “Remi” Van Der Beek.
Hilaria & Alec Baldwin
Hilaria and Alec Baldwin were candid about their back-to-back pregnancy losses in 2019, and when their rainbow baby, Eduardo, was born in 2021, Hilaria took to Instagram to celebrate and share the journey she and Alec navigated alongside their other four children (Carmen, Rafael, Leonardo, and Romeo).
“When I found out our baby had died, I told our children that their sister was going to come, just not at that time,” she wrote. “Our children were brave during our time of tremendous grief — braver than us… and they held out hope… I have learned that often our children are wiser than we are and their wisdom has guided us.”
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