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Raising kids is far from a one-size-fits-all situation, and these celebrity parents are showing that better than most.
While mom-shamers (and society as a whole) make it seem like there’s a rigid set of rules to follow when growing, birthing, and raising a child, having a kid and raising them in a way that’s cohesive with your personal situation is just that — highly personal.
Although this is the case, society tends to get quite riled up when they learn about a parent taking an unconventional approach with their child — say, when Megan Fox was criticized for allowing her son to wear an Elsa costume, or when Will and Jada Pinkett Smith were judged for being “too lax” with their kids, or when Mayim Bialik was mommy shamed for sharing a photo of her breastfeeding her 3-year-old son.
From @kourtneykardash to @willsmith and @jadapsmith, these celebrity parents choose to focus on fostering independence in their kids. https://t.co/sjW5OYf5Dz
— SheKnows (@SheKnows) January 3, 2022
It’s completely fair that certain parenting styles may not be right for you and your kids, but that doesn’t mean a nontraditional approach is inherently wrong. The following celebrity parents have committed to raising their kids their way, regardless of the backlash they may face for doing so, and they’ve been outspoken about exactly why their unique methods work for them and their children.
Read on to learn about some of Hollywood’s most unconventional parenting techniques — you might just find a few that resonate with you and encourage you to try something outside of the box with your own children.
Will & Jada Pinkett Smith
Will and Jada Pinkett Smith are known for being very open with their kids (Trey, 29, whom Will shares with ex-wife Sheree Zampino, Jaden, 24, and Willow, 21) and parenting from a child-led philosophy.
In a 2013 interview with Metro, via E! News, Will shared, “We don’t do punishment. The way that we deal with our kids is [that] they are responsible for their lives.” He continued, “You can do anything you want as long as you can explain to me why that was the right thing to do for your life.”
The dad of 3 shared more details about this approach during a 2016 interview on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, explaining the family’s “circle of safety” method. “They’re allowed to tell us everything that they did [in the circle of safety], and they can’t get in trouble. The rule is, if we find out after the circle of safety that there was something you didn’t say, there was hell to pay.”
The couple also takes great pride in parenting in a manner that allows their kids to have complete autonomy over themselves. Jada shared a Facebook post in 2012 after being criticized for allowing Willow to shave her head, writing, “This is a world where women [and] girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves — that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self-determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit and her mind are her domain.”
Jada also told Health, per E! News, “I want to give [my kids] the opportunity to make mistakes and learn how to put boundaries on themselves, so by the time they’re out of the house, they fly.”
Gisele Bündchen
Gisele Bündchen got creative with her breast milk when her children, Benjamin, 12, and Vivian, 9, were babies. She told People in 2018, “If they had something in their eyes, I’d put breast milk in their eyes. Before [a] flight, I would get a dropper and put milk up their nose… to [ward off] the bacteria on the plane.”
The model also followed an interesting technique to potty train her son, which apparently worked as she shared he was using the toilet at just 6 months old. According to the Boston Herald, the mom of two used elimination communication to train her son — a method in which she carried her baby around naked and sat him on the toilet to do his duty after breastfeeding sessions.
Megan Fox & Brian Austin Green
Ex-spouses Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are all about letting their kids, Noah, 10, Bodhi, 8, and Journey, 6, express themselves as they wish through clothing.
In a 2016 appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Fox shared how her experience growing up in a Pentecostal church influenced her parenting style. “The women in the church are only allowed to wear pants; you can’t wear dresses; you can’t wear make-up or jewelry, so it’s a really sort of oppressive environment to grow up in. But I sort of lean left of that now,” she explained. “Noah wears dresses, so there are no rules — you can be whatever you want to be in my house.”
Green agreed, telling People in 2017, “I feel like at 4, at 5, that’s a time when he should be having fun. He’s not harming anyone wearing a dress. So if he wants to wear a dress, good on him.”
Alicia Silverstone
Alicia Silverstone also embraces unconventional parenting methods with her 11-year-old son, Bear.
The actress and author of The Kind Mama revealed on an episode of The Ellen Fisher Podcast, “Bear and I still sleep together. And I’ll be in trouble for saying that. But I don’t really care.” She explained, “I’m a natural mama. And I just do what’s natural. I’m a loving mama. I believe in love; I believe in nature, and our society is scared of nature and scared of love. If you were in any kind of wild setting where there are animals, if you put your baby over there, your baby is going to get eaten — so it’s not ideal for the baby to be over there.”
She explained another unconventional method she took to when Bear was a baby: Feeding him pre-chewed food, like birds do with their babies. She explained to ET, per OK! Magazine, “It’s a part of the weaning process, so while I’m still breast-feeding it’s just a way to introduce him to food when he doesn’t have teeth.” Silverstone continued, “When he was about 5 months old, I’d be eating and he would come at me with his little mouth open and be on my mouth trying to get the food out of my mouth.”
Like Bündchen, Silverstone also followed elimination communication to potty train her son. She told People, “Just like your baby tells you it needs to eat or it’s tired, they tell you when they need to go to the bathroom. They give you cues, but we’re ignoring those cues. If you pay attention, they actually have a pause button and will give you enough time to get to a place that makes it comfortable for them to go. It’s amazing.”
Mayim Bialik
Actress, author, neuroscientist, and certified lactation educator Mayim Bialik embraced attachment parenting (“an approach to childrearing that promotes a secure attachment bond between parents and their children… fulfilling that child’s need for trust, empathy, and affection by providing consistent, loving, and responsive care,” per Attachment Parenting International) with her sons Miles, 17, and Frederick, 14 — so much so that she wrote an entire book on it.
In an interview with Green Child Magazine, Bialik explained, “Gentle discipline to me is not permissive parenting, which implies that parent and child are peers. It’s more about communicating your needs to your child and respecting his needs at the same time.”
She continued, “It’s using the same logic with your children as you would use with a boss, friend, or your spouse. Children aren’t stupid, and they feel valued when we treat them with respect.”
Bialik also received flack from the public after sharing a photo of her breastfeeding a 3-year-old Fred at the time, but she told TIME she felt no shame in it because “Fred-led weaning” is what worked for her and her son.
Penelope Cruz
Screen time and social media are hot topics in today’s conversations around parenting, and for Penelope Cruz‘s kids Leo, 11, and Luna, 9, both are a no-go until they reach a certain age.
The actress explained during a CBS Sunday Morning appearance, per Us Weekly, “I really see that that is protecting mental health, but I seem to be part of a minority.” She continued, “I feel really bad for the ones that are teenagers now. It’s almost [as] if the world was doing some kind of experiment on them. ‘Oh, let’s see what happens if you expose a 12-year-old to that much technology.'”
Cruz continued to express her concerns, saying, “There is no protection for them, for brains that are still developing and how that affects the way they see themselves, how everything related to bullying, so many things that are not the childhood that we had. [My kids] can [only] watch movies sometimes or some cartoons… [But no phones] until they are much older. And no social media until at least 16.”
Ashton Kutcher & Mila Kunis
Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are hell-bent on not raising a—holes, because “there’s enough a—holes in this world [and they] don’t need to contribute.” Part of their technique to avoid developing a—holery in their kids (Wyatt, 8, and Dimitri, 5) is to be less capitalistic than most around the holidays.
During a 2017 interview with ET, Kunis shared, “So far, our tradition is no presents for the kids. We’re instituting it this year because when the kids are [younger than] one, it doesn’t really matter.”
She continued to explain, “Last year when we celebrated Christmas, Wyatt was two and it was too much. We didn’t give her anything — it was the grandparents. The kid no longer appreciates the one gift. They don’t even know what they’re expecting; they’re just expecting stuff.”
As far as her and Kutcher’s alternative idea, Kunis said, “We’ve told our parents, ‘We’re begging you — if you have to give her something, pick one gift. Otherwise, we’d like to take a charitable donation, to the Children’s Hospital or a pet [or] whatever you want.’ That’s our new tradition.”
Kate Hudson
Like Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green, Kate Hudson also follows a gender-neutral approach to raising her daughter, Rani, 4. In a 2019 interview with AOL, the actress explained, “I think you just raise your kids individually regardless — like a genderless [approach].”
She continued, “We still don’t know what she’s going to identify as. I will say that, right now, she is incredibly feminine in her energy, her sounds and her way. It’s very different from the boys, and it’s really fun to actually want to buy kids’ clothes.”
Hudson went on to share that she wants Rani to feel free and liberated, just as she wants for herself. “That is, to me, where contentment and happiness lie,” she explained. “Not feeling tied down. Being okay saying ‘no.’ Feeling secure and safe in yourself and your family and your relationship. When you create that safe haven, nothing else really matters.”
She concluded, “It’s not fun to feel like you have to keep things hidden. When you can just be exactly yourself, that’s where happiness comes for me.”
Gwyneth Paltrow
In an effort to help her children, Apple, 18, and Moses, 16, become bilingual, Gwyneth Paltrow had them watch TV in French and Spanish — but never English.
The actress and entrepreneur told NDTV, via Inquisitr, “Apple was cross as I only let them watch TV in French or Spanish. When I’m in France, I go to Boulevard Beaumarchais and buy all their cartoons.”
Alanis Morissette
Like Mayim Bialik and Alicia Silverstone, Alanis Morissette also followed attachment parenting with her son, Ever, 11.
She was particularly outspoken about breastfeeding — in a 2012 appearance on Good Morning America, per the Daily Mail, the singer said, “I’ll stop whenever he wants. Some kids naturally stop at two, some stop at a couple of years later, it’s up to the child. I will stop when he says it’s time to stop.”
Nikki Reed & Ian Somerhalder
Nikki Reed and Ian Somerhalder are very private about their child, Bodhi Soleil, 5, but they did share that following her birth, they planned to take a “month of silence.”
Reed told Fit Pregnancy and Baby before their daughter’s arrival, “We’ll take the baby’s first month for ourselves. After the baby arrives, we’re doing one month of silence. Just the three of us, no visitors, and we’re turning off our phones too, so there’s no expectation for us to communicate.”
The actress and entrepreneur explained, “Otherwise, every five minutes it would be, ‘How are you feeling? Can we have a picture?’ You don’t get those first 30 days back, and we want to be fully present.”
Christina Aguilera
While many parents try to shelter their children from sex and nudity, Christina Aguilera chose to expose her son Max, 14, to both from a young age in an effort to normalize the taboo topics.
The singer and actress said during a 2008 radio appearance, per Us Weekly, “I think it’s important that he sees mommy not be ashamed for her sexuality. I mean, he’s two. We’re art collectors, there are a lot of female nudes around the house. Max will be growing up in a house where it’s just the norm… It’s only weird when you shame it.”
Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard
At the 2018 world premiere of the IMAX documentary PANDAS, Kristen Bell got candid about the controversial route she and husband Dax Shepard took to get their youngest daughter, Delta, now 7, to wind down at bedtime.
“My 3-year-old [Delta] decided to stop sleeping about nine months ago,” the actress explained, continuing, “And every night, when we put her to bed, she turns the lights on, which annoys the 4-year-old [Lincoln, now 9], and she will move furniture, and she bangs on the door with hard toys.” Her and Shepard’s solution? “We switched the door knob. We turned the lock on the outside.”
The mom of 2 continued to explain, “I’m sorry, I know that’s controversial, but we lock it when she gets in there, and we stand outside and say, ‘We love you, we will talk to you in the morning, but now, it’s time for sleep.’ And after about 10 minutes, she’ll wind herself down. And then, before we go to bed, obviously, we unlock it.”
Heidi Klum
While most parents shy away from allowing their kids to wear makeup or “adult” clothing before a certain age, Heidi Klum doesn’t see any harm in letting her daughters wear heels for special occasions.
The supermodel shares four kids with ex-husband Seal: Leni, 18, Henry, 16, Johan, 15, and Lou, 13. When it comes to Leni and Lou, Klum told Elle in 2018, “People get upset, especially in Germany, if they see my daughters wearing high heels. Big deal!”
She continued, “If we go to a restaurant, they like to get dressed up. It’s fun for them. So what if they hobble on their little heels for 20 steps from the car to the restaurant? As long as they’re good kids and they get good grades, they can wear what they want to wear.”
Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt
In 2013, Brad Pitt shared one of his and now-ex Angelina Jolie‘s parenting techniques with their 6 kids, Maddox, 21, Pax, 18, Zahara, 17, Shiloh, 16, and twins Knox and Vivienne, 14.
In an interview with Extra, per People, the actor said, “We have a policy in our family — no secrets. I mean, there’s an age of understanding, so you’ve got to present it in a way that is age-appropriate, but we know our children very well.” He continued, “We want everything to be on the table and any questions they have, for them to ask.”
Madonna
Madonna, who has 6 children (Lourdes, 26, Rocco, 22, David Banda, 17, Mercy James, 16, and twins Stella and Estere, 10), is known for quite a few unconventional parenting methods, including a strict diet of no sweets, dairy products, salt, or preservatives, and no TV, according to a 2016 article by Page Six.
The singer previously shared her views on television and other forms of media in a 2005 interview with Manchester Evening News, saying, “TV is trash. I was raised without it, I didn’t miss anything. TV is poison. No one even talks about it around here. We don’t have magazines or newspapers in the house either.”
The Material Girl also told Page Six that if her kids leave their clothes on the floor, they’re taken away. Speaking of Lourdes, Madonna explained, “She has to earn all of her clothes back by being tidy, picking up things in her room, making her bed in the morning. She wears the same outfit every day to school until she learns her lesson.”
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