Naming a baby is not only an extremely exciting part of having a child, but it’s also a huge, more or less permanent decision. It can be intimidating and overwhelming to choose the moniker that will carry a kid through life, and it can also be a topic of conversation that literally divides families and taints relationships.
From the stress of struggling to agree with a partner to the barrage of unsolicited opinions from over-invested family members, there can be a lot of obstacles to navigate leading up to the naming of a child. That’s why, more often than not, parents-to-be who are experiencing conflict regarding their future child’s name often take to Reddit to confide in the internet, asking for brutally honest, unbiased opinions — as one does in the 21st century.
Having recently entered Pisces season, we're looking to the stars for some baby name inspiration. ✨ https://t.co/VaBo2bjsWv
— SheKnows (@SheKnows) February 21, 2022
It’s one thing to not see eye-to-eye with a spouse about a name, but it’s an entire other to literally be kicked out of the house for refusing to agree to a certain moniker. It’s one thing to “copy” the name of an acquaintance’s kid, but an entire other to use the same name as a deceased child in the family. It’s one thing to give your kid a quirky name and an entire other to give them one with a sexually explicit meaning. Crazy scenarios, right? Well, we’re going there.
We’ve rounded up some of the wildest Reddit posts on baby-naming dilemmas, and they range from eye-popping to positively jaw-dropping. Read on for some intense drama surrounding the naming of some of the world’s little people to-be, and grab some paper and a pen to take notes on situations to wholeheartedly avoid in your own baby-naming endeavors.
Please Don’t!
A dad’s plan for his daughter’s name has Reddit begging him to reconsider. He and his fiance both have names that start with C, and they want to keep that theme going. “We really like the name Keelee, but we’re spelling it Ceelee or Cheelee with a hard C to keep the theme.”
Because apparently those are the only C names on the market. His family is NOT a fan of this plan…and neither is Reddit. Especially not “Cheelee.”
“I think of Chili. And then the restaurant. Somehow Cheelee’s baby back ribs seem a lot creepier than the restaurant’s though.”
“You guys are entitled to [your choice] but I must admit the name spelling is tragedeigh,” someone joked. “Oh come on! It’s a chragedeigh! 😁” another replied.
And on it went! You can read the whole chrazy story here.
Really?
A woman on Reddit wanted to know if she was an AH for calling her baby daddy and his girlfriend “creepy” because of the baby name they chose. When the two got pregnant, OP’s daughter — let’s call her “Anna” — was so excited to have a little sister. That is until a major bomb was dropped at the hospital.
The baby’s name? Anna.
Yup, this dad and his girlfriend gave their baby the same name as his first child.
The suggested “solution” was actually nuts (read the whole thing here) and Reddit says this couple are A+ AHs.
“I usually would have a bit more sympathy for a woman who just gave birth but she seemed deliberately cold and cruel towards your daughter (her stepdaughter) to have done this.”
A Truly Traumatic Chose
This story is perhaps the meanest baby name story we’ve ever come across. A woman’s sister decided to name her daughter Olivia, a name that has “a little bit of history” with their family.
“To make a long story short, I was bullied by a girl named Olivia for years,” OP said. This was when OP was 8. It got to the point where OP’s parents had her switch schools. When OP was 16, the bullying and harassment hadn’t stopped. In fact, Olivia ended up being arrested for stalking OP.
“It was also so bad that my parents had to call the police on a few occasions when Olivia followed me home and was outside our house trying to get to me,” OP said. “To say this was a huge ordeal for all of us is an understatement and to say it left me with some mental scarring would be an even larger understatement.”
So when her sister decided to name her daughter “Olivia,” the rest of the family was stunned because WTAF?! And so yes, there was some familial fallout.
“If someone was terrorizing my sibling so much and had the cops called on them in my front yard more than once, the last thing I’m doing is naming my child the same name as that person,” a Redditor said.
Most Outrageous Request
You’re not ready for this one…
A new mom’s mother-in-law has an “irrational fear of getting old.” So you can understand why becoming a grandmother would be…unsettling. And so what did this woman decide she wanted her grandson to call her? *Pause for dramatic effect* “Mama.”
MAMA! WTAF?! How outrageous, offensive, and inappropriate. And she is refusing to go by anything else!
“If she’s not going to choose [a different name], I suggest you go with the one that makes her sound the oldest and granniest,” someone said, to which another Redditor replied, “‘Hey go give your old hag a kiss goodbye.’ 😂😂” Read the whole jaw-dropping store here.
SpongeBob SquarePants Story
The woman behind this baby-naming story realized how convoluted it could seem to an outsider, and so she turned to pop culture to help her tell the story. Her husband wanted to name their son after him. In his culture, you would just add “Jr.” to the end of the name, but that’s not the same for her culture.
Instead, the wife’s last name goes before the husband’s last name. So, she explained, if Squidward Tentacles and Sandy Cheeks had a kid named after him, the name would be Squidward Cheeks Tentacles.
As a compromise, OP suggested they give their son her maiden name for the middle name and add “jr” at the end. But her husband has his [square]panties in a twist, saying that then he wouldn’t be a “true jr.”
Boo-freakin-hoo.
“The male fragility here is a bit much,” one Redditor said. “Dude is getting 90% of what he wants and being pouty that his wife is asking for a 10% compromise. But anything less than getting 100% of what he wants is robbery? He is in a relationship and the balance should really be closer to 50/50.”
And the male fragility is, unfortunately, far from the only issue here.
(Dis)honoring Grandma
One baby-naming plan seemed so straightforward and sweet. A pregnant woman wanted to name her daughter Josephine after her late grandma. What a beautiful tribute, right? Well, her sister joined the “Am I The A—hole?” Reddit to explain that looks can be deceiving.
Grandma “Josephine” actually hated her name. She always wanted to be called Rosie. This was surprising news for the mom-to-be who was too young when her grandmother passed to remember that she liked to go by her middle name. This has always been a point of contention for the family. Rosie’s husband, friends, and grandkids called her by her preferred name, while her sister and kids stuck to Josephine.
Now there is a whole lot of family drama (read the whole sad story here) around which name is most appropriate. Reddit agrees that it’s ok to name the baby Josephine if the mom-to-be just likes the name, but if she truly wants to name the baby after her grandma, she has to go with Rosie.
“She wanted to honor your grandmother,” one Redditor wrote. “Your grandmother preferred Rosie. To use Josephine would be DIShonoring the grandmother. Does your sis really want to honor your grandmother or was it just an ‘excuse’ to name the baby Josephine? NTA for stepping up for your beloved Granny Rosie.”
Hoping Not To Share
When will people learn that they can’t call dibs on a name? Seriously? When? Unfortunately, a new “Am I The A—hole?” post (read the full thing here) made it clear that it won’t be any time soon. One mom-to-be told her boyfriend’s sister that she was planning on naming her daughter “Hope” after her late great grandma. That just so happens to be the sister’s name, and as you probably guessed, sis had a problem with this.
“She was not happy about it and said she didn’t like the idea of her niece sharing the same name as her and asked us please not to use it,” OP wrote. “I explained I wasn’t really asking permission, I was more informing her of our choice.”
When the couple went through with the decision, adult Hope turned into a baby and called her brother and his girlfriend a—holes.
*Eye roll* Seriously? Does this sister know how many family members share names? Why would you act in a way that could put a rift between you and your niece down the line? All over a name? We hope she can grow up and get over herself before this happens.
“Does she expect the world to come up with 8 billion unique names?” one Redditor wrote.
“She can’t own a name, another said. “Y’all aren’t naming the baby after her. And this name isn’t crazy unique or something. She needs to get over herself.”
Ex is Best
One man on Reddit obliterated any sort of baby naming etiquette when he suggested he and his wife name their baby “Nancy.”
It wasn’t because it’s a family name, or because he’s a fan of a certain teenage mystery solver, but because … it happens to be the name of his late ex-girlfriend. *Jaw drop* And so this man hopped on the AITA subreddit to find out why his wife had a problem with that. *Face palm*
“Dude, really?” asked one commenter. “Think about it.”
This man and Nancy dated for six years, broke up, supposedly maintained a friendship (although the internet doesn’t think he’s over her), and she then died around two years later.
“The way I see it is that Nancy was very important to me for a really long time,” he said, digging himself a deeper hole. “She was my best friend and losing her was just a terrible thing. I feel as though it would be a great way to remember and honor a dear friend who I miss everyday.”
Needless to say, his wife was “unimpressed,” and things only got worse for him when he wondered if it was because of the pregnancy hormones.
“If I were pregnant, you know what would give me stress? Knowing that my baby daddy wanted to name our child after his ex!” one Redditor said.
This man could not be more clueless. Read the whole story here and prepare to facepalm.
Baby Name Boxing Match
Ready? Set… Fight! The ring is set, the boxing gloves are on, and Reddit is ready to play referee for a brother and a sister who are in an epic baby name fight. The problem is, these two are so evenly matched, it’s almost impossible to pick a side to root for!
In the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit, a 23-year-old woman wrote in about her twin brother and his pregnant 21-year-old girlfriend, who she claims “stole” her baby name for her future (still non-existent) daughter.
The girlfriend liked the name and has a baby on the way, while the woman had promised to name a daughter (should she have one) after her childhood friend who passed away.
The internet can see all sides of the situation and ultimately said they can just have two Amelias in the family. And it doesn’t even have to be difficult to navigate:
“Amy, Mia. Boom. Done. Or Amelia 1 and Amelia 2. Amelia Jen’s kid and Amelia Ally’s kid,” they wrote, adding, “My sib and aunt had the same name. We called them Name Senior and Name Junior.”
Still unsure about who should get the coveted name? Read the whole story here.
Unfair Family Tradition
Okay, this one is a DOOZY!
TLDR (but trust us, you’ll want to read the full version here): A soon-to-be dad’s family has a traditon of naming the firstborn “Edith” if it’s a girl or “Vincent” if it’s a boy. The pregnant wife didn’t think this tradition would fall to her and her husband and only found out at their very large gender reveal party. She didn’t want to use these “Victorian names” and — among other reasons — flipped out at her MIL in front of a sizeable audience.
This Reddit has all the twists and turns we live for: A big blow up, a MIL putting too much pressure on her DIL and future grandchild (in a really unexpected way), a husband who wanted to go behind his pregnant wife’s back (in a really outrageous way), and a “solution” that will definitely go wrong.
Hootin’ and Tootin’
Reddit is blowing up over a workplace “prank” that blows wind. The original poster spilled the tea about a colleague’s baby who presumably cuts the cheese, and commenters can’t get over this beyond-ridiculous situation.
In a post on the AITA subreddit, the OP shared a story about an “insufferable” coworker who they have dubbed “Linda.” The two are a pharmacist and doctor, respectively, but we think Linda is secretly a middle school bully.
“I was trying to be nice and ask what her child’s name was, and she apparently thought it would be funny to tell me her child’s name was ‘Flatulence.’”
Read the whole stinky story (including some great revenge tactics!) here.
OP played dumb and continued to call the baby Flatulence until Linda got fed up and cried. Serves you right, Linda!
Redditors decided to band together and brainstorm baby names. Afterall, there may come a day when instead of clearing a room, Flatulence just might welcome a baby sibling.
Top contenders include Diarrhea, Constipation, Hemorrhoid, and Meconium.
“I guess Linda’s little joke backfired in a spectacular fashion,” one commenter wrote, much to the satisfaction of another commenter who loved the choice of words.
Disney Name Debate
This Disney mom on Reddit is not happy about her ex-husband’s baby name choice with his new daughter. The self-proclaimed Frozen-obsessed 31-year-old woman took to Reddit to complain that her ex and his new wife want to name their daughter Anna — even though her first daughter with her ex-husband is named Elsa.
“For me it is totally unfair that they are stealing my naming process from me like that,” she wrote on Reddit. “What if I have another daughter? It would have been perfect to name her Anna and now I wouldn’t be able to do it without it looking like I am stealing from them.”
But instead of just complaining about it, she actually contacted her divorce lawyer, which prompted her own mother to laugh at her (because, duh?).
“My sadness turned into anger and, in an impulse of rage, I called my ex husband,” she continued. “I told him that if they insisted with using that name, I would made everything I could to sabotage the relationship between our daughter and theirs, so they never were real sisters like Elsa and Anna. He got really angry and said horrible things to me.”
She is seriously unhinged about this naming thing! Read the whole wild story here.
Double-Crossed by Family
A mom-to-be took to Reddit to ask if she’s the a—hole in a situation in which she’s most definitely not TA.
She explained that she and her husband decided to name their son Lumi after a character in a show they both watch. “I loved it even more than what I was going to call him before and told my family what name we were going to give our baby… I got his name put on the wall, on his clothes and have already informed the company that will be making our birth announcement cards about his name,” she wrote.
She then explained that her brother and sister-in-law had a son of their own shortly after she announced Lumi as her own son’s name, writing, “When we entered their house, we saw balloons with Lumy on them. I asked my brother what the meaning of this is. He told me he was really sorry, they didn’t have a name for him, so they gave him my baby name. That it wasn’t that big of a deal, because we have plenty of time to find a new name for our son.”
She continued, “I burst into tears after he said that it wasn’t a big deal. I screamed at him and his wife. I told him some nasty things, that he wasn’t my brother anymore and to never contact me again.”
Redditors comforted the mom-to-be in the replies, with one user writing, “You don’t own a name but what they did was deliberate and wrong. I would still name your baby Lumi though. Don’t let their selfishness ruin it for you!”
Read more responses to this audacious debacle here.
Incessant Pushback
One mom-to-be told her family she had decided to name her daughter Oceana, and then her sister went on an overbearing campaign to try to change her mind.
“She asked me what was wrong with a name like Elizabeth or maybe a little Beatrice or Margaret,” the woman wrote. “I told her nothing for those who like those names but they are not for my husband or me. She then said there’s always Emily, Haley, Anna, Marie. I told her to stop. That we knew our girl’s name before we even knew she was a girl and it wasn’t going to change for her.”
She explains her sister went as far as ranting to a mom group on Facebook in an attempt to crowdsource opinions to get her to change her mind about the name. “She went on a long ass rant about how my taste in names is terrible and how she’s shocked I would like a name like this. That I am ruining my child’s life. I am rejecting all the beautiful, lovely names of the last several years.”
After further insistence from her sister that she not name her daughter Oceana, the mom-to-be explains she snapped, which led her sister to reiterate that she’s “genuinely concerned” about the name. The mom-to-be wanted to know if she was in the wrong for being so annoyed with her sister, and Reddit assured her that she is not.
One user wrote, “Oceana is unusual but not awful or offensive (if she doesn’t like it then your daughter could choose to go by Ana which isn’t short for anything so no one will think to ask). Your sister needs to butt out.”
Another commented, “While I’m not a fan of Oceana, I find it better than Agatha or Eugene. Everyone has different naming styles. She should not have went on the group and shamed you knowing it would get back to you, and then accuse you of insulting her. I am not sure if this is how your sister normally behaves, or maybe she really was just trying to help, but I think she overstepped. She had her own chance to name her daughter, and now it’s yours.”
Read more about this baby-naming dilemma here.
Disrespecting the Deceased
Another mom-to-be took to Reddit to ask if she’s the a—hole for wanting to name her child the same name as her brother-in-law’s child … who, sadly, passed away.
She wrote, “We were at a family event over the weekend and I mentioned that we had that name in mind. BIL looked kind of surprised and said that was the name they’d picked for their daughter. My husband said that we know but we just thought it was a really nice name.”
The woman went on, “[BIL] was upset and kept saying that we should reconsider, I got a little mad and told him that he doesn’t own the name, and they should be hoping for a healthy baby rather than worry about names.”
Reddit quickly put her in her place, with one user writing, “What you’re doing is making sure BIL will never again be able to look at the two of you or his niece without thinking of his own dead child. There are thousands of names out there, you can find another that fits. You ‘can’ legally do this obviously, but just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”
Another Redditor said this mom-to-be was being “intentionally cruel,” adding that she “really twisted the knife [by making] a tasteless comment about how he should just be hoping for a healthy baby.”
Get the full breakdown of the situation and more responses to this mom’s audacity here.
The Heir & The Spare
Deciding on baby names is one of the most fun parts of having a child, but for those who are confined to outdated naming traditions, the excitement around naming the baby is stolen — take this mom of twins to-be, for example.
The woman took to Reddit to explain her dilemma, writing, “My husband’s grandfather was called John Will Smith, my father-in-law John W. Smith II and my husband John W. Smith III and it’s something taken only for the firstborn’s families (so brothers, cousins don’t have that name).”
She continued, “My husband was almost convincing me if one of the twins was a boy to follow that line, but when we found out they are 2 boys…”
She then listed several reasons for wanting to nix the family naming tradition, including that she’d like her twins to have her last name, which doesn’t work for this family’s patriarchal system; she doesn’t want her second-born twin to feel less than the first-born twin, and though she gave a generic name as an example, the naming tradition the family follows is complex and long — 29 letters for the last name alone — so she doesn’t want to burden the first-born any more than necessary.
The woman explains, “My husband is angry with me, saying that he is also a father and should be able to choose a name and that it was his desire/dream to follow tradition,” the asks the all-important question: Am I the a—hole?
Redditors overwhelmingly responded in favor of the woman’s take on the issue, with one user replying, “OP whatever you do, do not follow this tradition. You are setting your children up for potential favoritism from paternal family — and it will be obvious and will hurt the twin. Avoid at all costs.”
Another user pointed out concerning logistical problems, sharing, “I’m the 4th in line in my family and I always hated it. It’s been a nightmare for credit score reporting and I always swore the buck would stop with me, and it did. I would not recommend that anyone carry on these traditions, it’s awful.”
For the full scoop on this naming dilemma and what other Redditors had to say, click here.
Ridiculed by In-Laws
One mom-to-be took to Reddit to explain, “In my husband’s family, there is a tradition of naming a baby before it is born. The name is embroidered onto a blanket that has been passed down from generation to generation, and the baby is wrapped in the blanket when it is born. I’m trying to come up with a name we both like, but some of the names he suggests do not resonate with me.”
“Today his mother was pressuring me to suggest a name, and I just blurted out the name Jessica,” she wrote. “After a pause and a laugh, she said it was a name for a large girl, and it was a very unsuitable name. She went on to ask me if I wanted the baby to be ugly and if I was trying to ruin its life before it was even born.”
She explained that her husband’s sister then became involved, writing, “The next day she was at my doorstep and told me that she decided on a name and then said my decor was tacky. She said she was naming the baby Connie, after her mother. It was a name neither I nor my husband picked, and wouldn’t cause an argument between us. I told her no and asked her to leave and eventually, she did, but not after some insults were issued to me.”
The mom-to-be went on to share that her husband sided with her family and kicked her out of their home. She, rightfully so, said she doesn’t want to see or speak to her husband or his family, including at the birth of their daughter, but is still concerned she’s somehow TA.
Redditors assured her she is not TA and encouraged her to consider divorcing the man. One user wrote, “Your husband and his family are incredibly toxic and entitled… If her husband can treat her like this and kick her out when she’s pregnant and extremely vulnerable I don’t want to know what else he’s capable of.”
Read about this jaw-dropping situation in full here.
Cultural NSFW Nightmare
A mom-to-be confided in Reddit about a naming dilemma she’s facing with her husband. She explained that he wanted to name their daughter Fanny after his late grandmother, but for cultural reasons, the woman disagrees with the name.
She wrote, “I think this is very, very sweet idea, and I would have no problem with it were it not for the fact that, to put it bluntly, her name in my language means female genitalia.”
She explained, “My husband and I are from different countries with different languages. We both speak each other’s languages and we live in my husband’s country.” The woman also shared she suggested Fanny as a middle name rather than first name, but her husband wasn’t on board.
“Eventually, my husband accused me of being embarrassed by his culture, which isn’t true, I’m in love with his culture and I think the name is very pretty, it’s just that I know our daughter will visit my country too and she’ll have such a hard time there with that name,” the mom-to-be concluded.
Redditors agreed with the woman, with one user writing, “This would be the hill I would die on. She is a child of both cultures and he can’t make 1/2 of her disappear. I am going to guess she will learn both languages. He seems to think she will never know or be bothered by it because she is being raised in his country.”
Read more responses to this baby naming dilemma here.
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