Raising kids to be good humans in today’s world is a challenge now more than ever. The phrase “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” has been around for a good long while, but with social media, reality TV, video games, and other technological and societal advancements, words have become sharper, patience for others has worn thinner, and empathy can be hard to come by — especially when some of Earth’s foremost leaders are setting a poor example of how to conduct yourself with respect, integrity, and compassion.
With the world sort of in the doldrums, raising kind, thoughtful, considerate kids can seem like a daunting task and an uphill battle — but these celebrity parents seem to have mastered instilling great values in their kids in order to raise good humans. If you’re looking for a little advice or inspiration for how to go about this with your own littles, read on for tried and true techniques from Michelle Obama, Jennifer Lopez, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, and more.
John Legend & Chrissy Teigen
John Legend and Chrissy Teigen brought their kids Luna, 7, and Miles, 5, to the Ronald McDonald House Charities in Los Angeles in Nov. 2023 to make pancakes and hang out with the families of kids who are hospitalized.
“We try to teach them that it’s important to give back and to help other people,” Legend told PEOPLE. “They’ve gone with us to help feed people who are hungry, they’ve gone to homeless shelters with us. We try to teach them to be appreciative of what they have and also know that there are a lot of people that don’t have the privileges that they do, so we should do what we can to help them.”
The couple also share daughter Esti and son Wren.
Brittany Mahomes
Brittany Mahomes is prioritizing raising her daughter Sterling to be “the most kind, gentle, loving human on this planet.” In an Instagram video, Mahomes said her daughter is her inspiration, and that she’s raising her with compassion — but also striking a balance between being nice and being assertive: “I hope she grows up to be a kind, gentle soul with that good sassy attitude that she needs to change the world.”
Brittany also shares son Bronze with husband Patrick Mahomes, quarterback of the Kansas City Chiefs.
Hoda Kotb
Hoda Kotb is teaching her daughters Hope and Haley to pay kindness forward — and one way she likes to do that is with a sweet tradition they have whenever they go out to a restaurant.
“[W]hen we go out, we pick somebody in the restaurant who we’re gonna buy their meal,” Kotb told podcast host Mel Robbins in January 2023. “My daughter gets to pick because we don’t say a word. Nobody ever knows. That’s how we do it,” she said. To explain to her daughters why good deeds without recognition are important, she puts it simply, telling her daughters: “[S]ometimes we just do things to help.”
Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie emphasized the importance of teaching her kids kindness to HELLO! in 2019, explaining, “It’s important to be humble — know the freedoms you have and what you’ve been blessed with and make sure you help others. And always remember your place — we’re all human and very flawed. We’re tiny pieces in a much bigger world. As they grow up, I find my children are strong individuals but still open-minded. I try to lead by example and be kind and gracious, as my mother was — and loving and tolerant.”
Michelle Obama
During a 2020 conversation with Ellen Degeneres in the thick of the COVID-19 pandemic, Michelle Obama said of her two daughters Sasha and Malia, “It’s forced us to continue to sit down with each other, have real conversations, really ask questions and figure out how to keep ourselves occupied without just TV or computers.”
The former First Lady continued, “It’s a good exercise in reminding us that we just don’t need a lot of the stuff that we have. We can do with a lot less, and I think that’s an important lesson I want my kids to understand. Be grateful for what you have and be ready to share it when the time comes.”
Jennifer Garner
During a conversation with Parents, Jennifer Garner explained her approach to instilling compassionate values in her three kids — Violet, Seraphina, and Samuel — who she shares with ex-husband Ben Affleck: “I think the most powerful thing to do is to live it, and live it rippling out from your home, whether that’s a next door neighbor or someone at church, taking them a meal and taking your kids along as you do it. For something bigger, like really being involved in an organization, let your kids see it matter to you. That’s the way to teach them.”
Max Greenfield & Tess Sanchez
During a joint interview with Parents, Max Greenfield and Tess Sanchez shared that they teach their daughter and son to be cognizant of the fact that other people have their own stories and backgrounds, too.
Sanchez said, “We are pretty relaxed about everything, except how they treat and talk to other people. The only time we ever get mad is if we see the kids being thoughtless. They know they always have to be kind and have compassion,” with Greenfield adding, “We tell them that your friends, your teachers — everyone you meet — has a story, and you should be interested in it.”
Pink
During her acceptance speech for the Video Vanguard Award at the 2017 MTV Video Music Awards, Pink dedicated her win to her daughter Willow and explained how she was helping her little girl redefine beauty and self-worth.
The singer shared, “Recently, I was driving my daughter to school and she said to me, out of the blue, ‘Mama?’ I said, ‘Yes, baby?’ She said, ‘I’m the ugliest girl I know,’ and I said, ‘Huh?’ And she was like, ‘Yeah, I look like a boy with long hair.’ And my brain went to, ‘Oh my god, you’re six. Why? Where is this coming from? Who said this? Can I kick a 6-year-old’s ass, like, what?'”
She continued, “And I said to her, ‘Do you see me growing my hair?’ She said, ‘No, mama.’ I said, ‘Do you see me changing my body?’ ‘No, mama.’ ‘Do you see me changing the way I present myself to the world?’ ‘No, mama.’ ‘Do you see me selling out arenas all over the world?’ ‘Yes, Mama.’ ‘OK! So, baby girl. We don’t change. We take the gravel and the shell and we make a pearl. And we help other people to change so they can see more kinds of beauty.’”
Jennifer Lopez
In her 2022 Vogue cover story, Jennifer Lopez reflected on how her early life experiences with politics impacted how she now holds conversations about important issues with her twins Emme and Max, saying, “Early in my career people would ask about politics, but I always felt like people didn’t really want to hear from an actor or somebody who sang pop songs. Like a shut-up-and-dance kind of situation. I didn’t have the confidence, and I didn’t want to make a mistake,” she explained.
“But you get to a point in your life where you realize, if something’s wrong, you say it. If you’re not doing something about it then you’re kind of complicit. … This generation is beautifully aware and involved and brave, and they will call bullshit on stuff really quick. I want my kids to stand up for themselves and the things they care about.”
The mom of two continued, “I’ll stress to them, like, I want you to do well in school. And then my son always finishes the sentence. He goes, ‘But you care more that we’re good people.’ I say, ‘That’s right. I do.’”
Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds
After George Floyd’s murder in May 2020, Lively took to Instagram to write, “We’ve never had to worry about preparing our kids for different rules of law or what might happen if we’re pulled over in the car. We don’t know what it’s like to experience that life day in and day out. We can’t imagine that kind of fear and anger. We’re ashamed that in the past we’ve allowed ourselves to be uninformed about how deeply rooted systemic racism is.”
She continued, “We’ve been teaching our children differently than the way our parents taught us. We want to educate ourselves about other people’s experiences and talk to our kids about everything, all of it… Especially our own complicity. We talk about our bias, blindness and our mistakes. We look back and see so many mistakes which have led us to deeply examine who we are and who we want to become.”
Lively promised, “We’re committed to raising our kids so they never grow up feeding this insane pattern and they’ll do their best to never inflict pain on another being consciously or unconsciously. It’s the least we can do to honor not just George Floyd, Amaud Arbury, Breonna Taylor and Eric Garner, but all the Black men and women who have been killed when a camera wasn’t rolling.”
Nick Cannon
Nick Cannon — who has had 12 kids — says teaching kids to be good people is all about instilling good values at a young age. In 2017, he told Hollywood Life, “It starts small. There’s no deed too small, no deed too big. We call them ‘RAKs’ — you gotta rack up the ‘RAKs’ — the ‘Random Acts of Kindness,'” he explained.
“So just teaching people how to be polite, respectful — it starts there,” the entertainment mogul continued. “Manners. Willing to share. Sharing is caring. … It feels so much better, and it’s so much more potent to be able to give than to receive.”
Sarah Michelle Gellar
In an interview with Hello!, Sarah Michelle Gellar said of her and Freddie Prinze Jr.’s parenting, “We talk to our children all the time, and I always say that I don’t care if they’re the smartest in the class, I don’t care if they’re the fastest, I care that they’re kind. And that is a word that we use a lot in our house — to be thoughtful of the people around you and take that into consideration. And that to me has always been the most important value in our household.”
Lauren Conrad
When asked by reporters at the 2020 #BlogHer Creators Summit about how she teaches her kids about racism, Lauren Conrad said, “A lot of it has to do with the example you set. Kids are always listening. They’re watching your actions and they’re listening to the way you speak to people, how you speak about people.”
Will & Jada Pinkett Smith
In a 2013 interview with Metro, via E! News, Will Smith opened up about his and Jada Pinkett Smith’s unconventional approach to raising good humans. The iconic actor shared, “We don’t do punishment. The way that we deal with our kids is [that] they are responsible for their lives. You can do anything you want as long as you can explain to me why that was the right thing to do for your life.”
The dad of 3 shared more during a 2016 interview on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, explaining the family’s “circle of safety” method. “They’re allowed to tell us everything that they did [in the circle of safety], and they can’t get in trouble. The rule is, if we find out after the circle of safety that there was something you didn’t say, there was hell to pay.”
Jada gave more context to Health, per E! News, saying, “I want to give [my kids] the opportunity to make mistakes and learn how to put boundaries on themselves, so by the time they’re out of the house, they fly.”
Alicia Silverstone
Alicia Silverstone took to Instagram to share an instance of her son being bullied for having long hair, writing, “One time my son was made fun of by other kids because of his hair on a bus ride to surf camp. After he had returned and told me, I thought he would want to cut it for a haircut appointment we had already scheduled the next day, but when we showed up, he said ‘Please give me a trim so I can grow it to my waist.'”
The proud mom wrote, “That’s my boy! He knows who he is. He loves his hair and chooses to have it long. Mama and Papa aren’t going to stop him from being him. He’s beautiful and we love his hair! We would never impose any social ideas about what hair on a boy or girl should look like. We should all try to embrace our children and who they choose to be without any judgment!”
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