CW: [child and sexual abuse, mental/emotional abuse, suicide, domestic violence]
According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, more than two-thirds of children report at least one instance of trauma by the age of 16. The organization cites traumatic events as including but not limited to mental, physical, and sexual abuse, school and domestic violence, sudden loss of a loved one, neglect, and natural disasters.
While child traumatic stress can impact an individual’s life well into adulthood, many people who experience trauma as children are able to overcome it to lead healthy, thriving lives. In fact, the following celebrities have not only healed from their childhood traumas but also broken the generational patterns that affected them to give their own children more peaceful, happier lives.
Take Jay-Z (né Shawn Carter), for example. The music icon grew up in a Brooklyn, New York housing project with a single mother and a drug-addicted brother. His father, who had his own substance abuse issues, abandoned the family, which left Carter feeling like he needed to step up to support his family as a child. He resorted to dealing drugs for over a decade before becoming the musical genius — and father of three — we know today.
Despite his own childhood trauma, Jay-Z told The Times in 2020 that his and Beyoncé‘s ultimate parenting goals are to “just make sure we provide a loving environment, [and] be very attentive to who they want to be.”
From Tyler Perry to Demi Moore, read on to learn about how these famous figures navigated their childhood trauma to ultimately become better parents for their own kids.
If you or someone you know has been the victim of sexual assault, harassment or violence, you can get help. To speak with someone who is trained to help with these situations, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.
Geena Davis
Geena Davis grew up in a family that prized politeness to the point of “having no needs” — she spent decades of her life minimizing herself to avoid inconveniencing anyone else.
She shared this during an interview with the UK’s Loose Women, along with the fact that she didn’t feel empowered as a woman until she met fellow actress Susan Sarandon for their iconic film, Thelma & Louise — and she’s applied the revelation of empowerment to her life ever since, especially concerning raising her three children.
“I think a lot of [showing your kids how to be empowered] is modeling. I picked up more from the way my parents modeled their behavior than them telling me how to be,” she explained.
The actress continued, “I’m just really grateful I had children in my 40s, and I wanted to wait… I thought, I’ll be more evolved the longer I wait because I did have a sense that I wasn’t, I didn’t have a lot of self-esteem, I guess… But I was really determined that my kids would have self-esteem,” Davis vulnerably shared.
Dax Shepard
Dax Shepard grew up in an abusive household in an impoverished area of Detroit with an absentee, alcoholic father, and he was molested by an 18-year-old neighbor when he was 7 years old. All of these things, in addition to struggling in school due to his dyslexia, caused Shepard to turn to drugs and alcohol in his late teens.
The actor got sober in 2004, and once he and wife Kristen Bell welcomed their two daughters, Lincoln and Delta, Shepard decided to take a very honest route with them about his sobriety and past addiction struggles. “They know that dad goes to an AA meeting every Tuesday and Thursday,” the Without a Paddle star revealed on a 2021 episode of the In Fact with Chelsea Clinton podcast.
Referencing his 2020 relapse after 16 years of sobriety, Shepard continued, “They knew when I relapsed. We explained, ‘Well, Daddy was on these pills for his surgery and then Daddy was a bad boy and he started getting his own pills.'” He added, “Yeah, we tell them the whole thing.”
Tyler Perry
Tyler Perry’s childhood was extremely traumatic. The brilliant entertainment mogul grew up in poverty in New Orleans, and his father abused him so badly that he contemplated suicide as a means of escaping the physical and mental turmoil. Perry was also molested several times by multiple adults, and he dropped out of high school. Of his childhood as a whole, he described it to Oprah during an in-depth interview as “a living hell.”
The Madea creator is now a father to his own son, which has been a “healing” journey for him. “When I look at him, I see my young self,” Perry previously said. “When I’m hugging him, I’m able to hug the little boy that I was, if that makes sense. So there’s so much healing going on.”
He also told PEOPLE in 2019, “When I think about my father, I’m trying to look at it now through the lens of this beautiful person that I’m raising, but it makes it harder because I wonder how could you be so cruel to something so pure, right? And [my son] looks just like me, so I’m looking at myself in younger pictures.”
Demi Moore
Demi Moore was raised by two alcoholic, suicidal parents. The family moved 30 times throughout her tumultuous childhood, and the actress was raped by a “friend” of her mother’s at age 15. She ultimately set out on her own after she turned 16 — all of which she chronicles in her raw memoir, Inside Out.
While she struggled with substance abuse as a young adult and relapsed in 2012 after being sober for nearly 20 years — causing a 3-year-long fallout with her daughters before getting sober again — Moore is on the other side of her trauma today.
During a 2019 interview with Harper’s Bazaar, the Ghost icon said of motherhood and her childhood trauma, “My daughters offered me an opportunity to start to change the generational pattern. To be able to break the cycles.” She added that motherhood was her only absolute goal and the only destiny she knows she’s fulfilled, including “mothering myself.”
In a 2019 New York Times interview about her memoir, all three of Moore’s daughters (whom she shares with ex-husband Bruce Willis) offered words of reverence toward their mom. Youngest daughter Tallulah Willis poignantly shared, “My mom was not raised, she was forged.”
Scout Willis expressed how proud she was of Moore for “doing the internal work that she didn’t have the time to do, for a long time, because she was just in survival mode.”
And Rumer Willis, the eldest of the bunch, said on The Talk, “I’m so proud of her vulnerability, and I think so many women have watched her — and just as her daughter, I’ve watched her — as this kind of beacon of strength and this kind of leader.” She added, “I think what I really respect about her is she’s never the victim in her story. She takes accountability, she takes responsibility, and — mind you — this is her perspective, her story, and she’s the first one to say that.”
Charlize Theron
Charlize Theron, at age 15, witnessed her mother shoot and kill her alcoholic father in self-defense. Of the experience, the actress shared during an interview with the French television station TF1, “I had a parent who led me through the grief, shock, and anger going through all of the emotional things that you do when you — when something like this happens to you.”
She continued, “But it really kind of guided me towards not being a victim and not going through my life feeling victimized. You know, I’m incredibly saddened by that night and saddened by the event … [but] no, it doesn’t haunt me. No, it doesn’t haunt me at all. I’m completely at peace.”
True to her word, Theron didn’t let the traumatic experience deter her from becoming a mother to her two adopted daughters. In 2016, she told Elle, “When I became a mother, I had already wanted it for a long time. I craved motherhood, and I was incredibly invested in it.”
She explained, “When I held my children in my arms, I was happier than I ever expected to be. Today, motherhood is a source of joy every single day, something stronger than everything else, more powerful than my career.”
Jay-Z
Before he was one of the biggest names in music history, Jay-Z (né Shawn Carter) was just a kid growing up in a Brooklyn housing project with a single mother. He was exposed to gun violence, crime, and both drug addiction and dealing — the latter of which he partook in for over a decade to support his mother and brother after being abandoned by his drug-addicted father.
Despite his own childhood trauma, Jay-Z told The Times in 2020 that his and Beyoncé’s ultimate parenting goals are to “just make sure we provide a loving environment, [and] be very attentive to who they want to be.” He added, “It’s easy for us, as human beings, to want our children to do certain things, but we have no idea. We’re just guides.”
Christina Aguilera
Christina Aguilera, like most child stars, grew up under a public microscope of criticism and comparison, but her trauma also extended to her own home in the form of her physically and mentally abusive father.
Despite becoming a Grammy award-winning artist by 19 years old and having an impressive list of other accomplishments, her childhood trauma (understandably) bred many insecurities.
The singer opened up to Health about helping her children avoid and overcome their own insecurities, explaining, “I am really careful if my daughter is there when I am doing photo shoots.” I want to make sure that when she sees Mommy in hair and makeup that she realizes that’s not what’s important.”
She continued, “If she needs my attention, I stop everything and look into her eyes and listen to her. I want to make sure she understands that this is part of Mommy’s work, but that it’s what I create that matters more.” Aguilera added, “I just really try to encourage them to be their own selves.”
Machine Gun Kelly
Like Dax Shepard, Machine Gun Kelly (né Colson Baker) grew up in an impoverished household in the midwest. His dad suffered from mental health issues, and his mom left when he was 9 years old. After years of being bullied by his peers, Baker turned to music and effectively became MGK.
The rapper/singer has always been candid about the questionable behaviors that stemmed from his childhood, including substance abuse, arrests for fighting, and an addiction to work once he stopped abusing drugs and alcohol. In his 2022 documentary, Life in Pink, Kelly spoke of pivoting his focus to his daughter, Casie.
“The most important thing, and I forget this a lot of time, is [that] it’s about memories that you create with [your kids],” the musician said. “I can’t waste any more of those times ’cause, now, she needs me. I need to be able to help her blossom into the person she’s going to become. She’s the future of my legacy and she’s going to create her own. I want to be her biggest fan,” Kelly explained.
Eminem
Anyone who’s ever seen 8 Mile, the bio-drama that retells Eminem’s journey from his impoverished Detroit upbringing to his breakthrough as a professional rapper, knows that the musical icon (né Marshall Mathers) had a tumultuous childhood and adolescence.
Although Eminem was abandoned by his father as an infant, grew up in poverty with a mother who had substance abuse and mental health issues, was violently bullied by his peers, and ultimately dropped out of high school to pursue his music career, he’s always gone above and beyond as a father to his three children, Hailie, Alaina, and Stevie.
In addition to frequently featuring his kids in his music — he raps about giving Hailie and Alaina (Lainey) a better life in “Mockingbird,” for example — Eminem has been outspoken about his priorities as a father.
In 2004, he told Rolling Stone, “Bein’ a dad is definitely living a double life. … Once I hit them gates where I live, that’s when I’m Dad. Takin’ the kids to school, pickin’ ’em up, teachin’ ’em rules. I’m not sayin’ I’m the perfect father, but the most important thing is to be there for my kids and raise them the right way.”
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