Sleeping arrangements are a common point of contention on the “Am I The A—hole?” Reddit. And sorry for the spoiler alert, but there is always a clear a—hole. Redditors could not believe it when they read about two girls who apparently watched Cinderella one too many times — and totally missed the message! — and made their stepsister sleep on the floor of their hotel. And then when they found out about the outrageous dad who wouldn’t give his son and grandson a place to stay because his daughter needed her own bedroom, library, and art room, they lost their sh*t.
Because as if there isn’t enough interpersonal drama within a household (or hotel room), let’s add some floorplan f*ckery into the mix. One 31-year-old woman experienced this firsthand when she, her wife, and their son went to visit her mom.
“My daughter said she wanted to come and see me and her old friends with her family,” the mother wrote on Reddit. “They are currently renovating their house (they have a house in our city and usually stay there when they rarely do come over) and my daughter asked me if they could stay with me. I said of course.”
This mother[-in-law] may have said, “Of course,” but she left out a significant detail.
One Room Too Many
When the family of three arrived, this mother explained that she had prepared a different room for each guest.
“One for my daughter, one for DIL, and one for my grandson,” she wrote. “My daughter said I was being unreasonable and that she wanted to sleep in the same room as her wife. I said I made her brother and his wife do the same thing when they visited and they never complained.”
What?! What year is it that this mother-in-law won’t let her children and their spouses sleep together? At least we’re glad this happens to both children, because as one commenter said, “started off thinking ‘homophobe,’ ended up thinking ‘weirdo.'” Same here!
But seriously, does she think they sleep separately at home? Does she think they’ve taken a vow of chastity? And what would be the big deal if they haven’t? Even if the daughter and DIL do get down (and go down *wink wink*) while visiting, it shouldn’t affect this mom. We can’t imagine they’ll be as loud as this couple.
Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn!
So, OP’s daughter told her wife to book them a hotel. “I was really hurt by [my daughter’s] decision and said I hoped she’d just stay and it was [only] a few days. She said she hadn’t slept apart from her wife for the past 9 years and wasn’t going to start doing that now.”
And we applaud her! Why should she and her wife be forced to sleep apart? Why should her wife feel unwelcome in her mother-in-law’s home? This daughter made the right call. “Your daughter simply isn’t willing to take sh*t like her brother,” one person wrote. “Good for her.”
“They left and stayed at the hotel,” OP said. “My daughter is still kind of cold to me.”
Well, duh!
OK But Why?
What makes this post even stranger is that OP makes no effort to defend herself. “How do you expect anybody to support your decision when you haven’t even tried to explain it?” one person asked.
Reddit agrees there is only one acceptable reason for this mother-in-law’s actions.
“Unless your reasoning is ‘the only guest beds I have are singles so I made up three rooms because I didn’t think they’d be comfortable squishing two adults into one tiny bed,’ I’m gonna have to go with YTA,” one person said, and 15 thousand others agreed.
Make that 15 thousand and one! And while we really, really, really, hope that’s the reasoning, we highly (highly, highly) doubt it. If that were the case, OP would have said that, and her daughter and daughter-in-law would have understood.
And then let’s say this is a matter of tiny beds. We have to wonder how this mother-in-law would feel if her kids offered to buy a larger bed for one of the rooms. If they were to spend the hotel money on a mattress, would the problem be solved? These are the times when we wish we could step inside the minds of Redditors!
Is This It?
Well, is it? Reddit wants to know if this is the hill OP is willing to die on. And if so, there is one comment that sums this all up perfectly: “WHY? WHY??” Two words. Three exclamation points. More than 38,000 upvotes.
“They’re MARRIED WITH A KID,” another person said. “She’s not a teenager you need to be trying to protect from the atrocity that is sex out of wedlock. As far as your son and his wife, I’m confident that they never openly complained, but had plenty of problems about it behind closed doors and didn’t want to confront you about it.”
Yikes. Maybe it’s time for this mother-in-law to hike down the mountain. She can think about her apology speech as she walks.
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