Just how many photos should be taken of a child during their life? Unfortunately for them, most people would say the limit does not exist. In this day and age — for better or for worse — everything they do is documented. Wearing their cute little blue and pink hospital hat? Snap. Riding in their car seat for the first time? Snap. Enjoying tummy time? Snap. Hating tummy time? Snap. Finally sitting in their high chair? Snap. Doing absolutely nothing? Snap. Snap. Snap.
We just can’t help ourselves! They’re just so stinkin’ cute. And while plenty of parents and celebrity parents keep those pictures private, there is also the insatiable urge to share those pictures everywhere. Because again, they’re so stinkin’ cute! Parents can do as they please with those photos, but it can get dicey when other family members and loved ones want to post a few of their own. Is a picture of them sleeping appropriate? Is that caption ok? The parents get to make those calls, and whatever they say should go.
The operative word there is “should.” But this article is about a post from the Reddit “Am I The A—hole” (AITA) subreddit, and if you’ve been following along, people hardly ever do what they “should.”
A Mother-in-Law Mess
One mom joined Reddit to share that about a year ago, her MIL posted photos and a video of her son naked in the bath. Just recently, she found out that they are still on her Facebook page.
“I feel so riddled with guilt for not knowing about them and doing something so much sooner,” the original poster (OP) wrote.
She hadn’t realized this because she — like many people — have family members muted on Facebook because they have different political opinions. We all know how exhausting and disheartening it can be to see that, so sometimes it’s just better to hit mute and save the relationship.
Anyway, this MIL’s son and DIL had told her they didn’t want any naked photos or photos in diapers to be posted on social media.
“I did not think I had to babysit a 53-year-old woman’s Facebook to make sure she was intelligent enough not to post naked photos and a video of my [then-1-year-old] naked in the bath,” OP wrote. “My husband sent her the photo and video but presumably thought that it went without saying NOT TO POST THEM.”
OP recently learned that the photos were still on her MIL’s Facebook page and immediately asked that she take them down and told her she was no longer allowed to post any photos of her children.
“In response to my message — which read about on par with a stern corporate email [because] we’ve had a problem before with her thinking I am aggressive and mean and I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire despite being PISSED — she did take the images and video down.”
Mama’s Boy
This MIL then turned to her son and complained about how “rude” and “disrespectful” his wife was being. He is now upset with OP because she “should have asked [his mom] to take down the photos and video [and not demanded].”
Dude. Are you kidding me?
He’s now asking his wife to apologize, regardless of whether or not she means it.
“I’m now having some doubts as well as a huge feeling of betrayal from my husband,” OP wrote. “She posted nude photos and videos of our child on the internet for all her 300+ ‘friends’ to see. Those photos and video are now who knows where being used in potentially horrific ways and yet I’m the a—hole in this? Because I didn’t politely ask for her to fix something that never should have happened in the first place?”
“Am I really the a-hole here?” she asked.
The Verdict
Redditors immediately knew the answer to this question: OP is most definitely not the a-hole (NTA).
“I literally skipped reading the entire thread to scroll down to comment ‘NTA’ & I’m very happy to see I wasn’t the only one that instinctively thought the same damned thing!” one person wrote. “YOUR nekked babies, YOUR nekked rules.”
“Contact Facebook immediately,” another recommended. “Let them know that naked pictures and videos of small children are posted without their parents’ consent, and FB will very likely take them down pretty damned fast,” one person suggested and others chimed in saying OP should “put her [MIL’s] butt in Facebook jail.”
“I don’t blame you at all,” one Redditor wrote. “It’s explicit photos of a minor. But it’s a weird thing that naked baby pictures are kinda normalized to some people. It’s fucked up. Would she post them naked at 8 years old? What’s the cut-off for naked kid pictures being ok??? It should never be okay. Even a fresh-out-of-the-womb naked baby picture would be weird to post.”
More Than One AH
Redditors say the MIL isn’t the only problematic person here, and we have to agree. WTAF is up with this husband? People say he needs to learn to stand up to his mother and that his insistence that his wife apologize “raises some alarming questions about his judgment (or complete lack thereof).”
“Your husband’s attitude is frankly appalling,” one person wrote. “Does your MIL often run to your husband and complain about you? She and your husband sound enmeshed and codependent. That means your husband will continue to take her side and enable her toxic and controlling behavior. I would have a serious convo with your husband about how he needs to stand up for you and stand WITH you when enforcing boundaries with his mother. You and him are the unit. You are the team. You are partners. You should have each others back.”
“NTA,” another said. “Sorry you’re married to one though.”
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