Prepare yourself for a story from the Reddit “Am I The A—hole” thread that has it all: wedding drama, stepparent/stepkid tension, money troubles, thievery, and threats of jail. It’s … a lot, and we’ve got a good bit of ground to cover.
A 21-year-old joined Reddit to talk about his “not-yet stepmother.” He and his 19- and 24-year-old siblings met their father’s girlfriend about four years ago, six years after their parents divorced. The original poster (OP) said this woman always had “a certain dislike towards [him and his siblings]” … and that they didn’t like her either.
“She always subtly implied that she doesn’t like us,” OP wrote, to which we say, “Tell us more!” For better or worse, we live for the drama and will take all the context we can get.
“We have often tried to tell this to our father, but he is the ‘quiet type.'” AKA, the type who doesn’t stand up for his kids.
“He never gets involved,” OP continued, “and believes that we should ‘feel educated’ by her.'” Wait, what? What does that even mean?
OP moved out a year ago, leaving his father and this woman who is “educating” him. He has since learned that the two of them are planning to get married, adding in parenthesis that the wedding is “her idea.”
And so it begins …
Wedding Of Her Dreams
OP explained that even though his family has “never been financially well-off,” his “stepmother” (we love the quotation mark shade!) wants a big wedding.
“Now here’s the problem: She is demanding financial support from all of us children for the celebration because we are ‘family’ too.”
OP’s “kind-hearted” 24-year-old sister offered to help, but he and his 19-year-old brother were “super annoyed.” And frankly, we don’t blame them. It’s not the children’s responsibility to pay for a wedding.
“When I refused to give her a single buck and suggested that she should just make the celebration smaller, she flipped out, and we had a heated argument.”
Finding The Funds
Well, this bridezilla-to-be was not taking no for an answer. OP didn’t have any contact with her — until he got a notification about a withdrawal from his bank account.
“It turned out that my crazy ‘stepmother’ had her hands in our accounts,” he wrote.
WHAT?!?!
“Since I had a good relationship with my father, he had access to one account, [and] she simply took [money],” he said. “It wasn’t a significant amount, but when she refused to return the money, I threatened to report her to the police for theft.”
And that’s exactly what it is. Theft. She took money that didn’t belong to her, without his consent, and isn’t willing to return it — so he’s not out of line with that threat.
“All the relatives think that I want to ‘prevent the wedding,’ and they say, ‘Don’t make such a fuss, family is more important than money, blah blah.'”
Don’t make such a fuss? This guy should make a fuss, and you know Reddit definitely will.
“People are seriously telling you that family is more important than money, in defense of a woman who stole money from family?” one Redditor wrote. “The cognitive dissonance is strong there.”
Lock It Down
Whether or not OP decides to call the police, he needs to call his bank ASAP, tell them what happened, and have his “quiet type” father removed from the account.
“Whether or not you take legal action, you absolutely need to change ALL of your passwords and account access on literally any [device] you have.” one person said. “Tell your dad that you are officially removing him from anything he has access to that is yours, as his fiancé has crossed boundaries you’re not willing to compromise on.”
“Don’t cave on this,” another insisted. “She is helping herself to YOUR money, and it definitely won’t be the last time. They’re not even married yet and she’s expecting you to pay her way. The fact that she thinks a 19-year-old and 21-year-old have money to spare is unhinged.”
“Even if she returns it report it,” one Redditor wrote. “If they can’t do anything about it at least you will have documentation if something more drastic happens in the future.”
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