There is so much for moms and moms-to-be to keep in mind when it comes to prenatal and postpartum eating. They are juggling food cravings and food aversions, harmful foods, and the enhanced need for proper nutrients. The last thing they need on their plates is family drama.
That being said, it makes us crazy when we see people on the “Am I The A-hole” (AITA) subreddit who are making mealtimes for moms even more difficult. There was the clueless husband who gave his friends the food his expectant wife explicitly said she was craving and would want when she got up from her nap, and then there was the outright horrifying husband who didn’t take his wife’s food allergy seriously when she was pregnant! Yup!
And so we were upset — but not surprised, sigh — when we saw a first-time mom-to-be on Reddit sharing the latest food fiasco she’s having with her mother- and sister-in-law.
The woman who originally posted (OP) said she has made an effort to learn how to cook meals from her husband’s home country. How sweet! “He never complains and has praised my cooking often. We have cooked meals together for dinner parties and no complaints.”
Well, she’s now getting complaints from elsewhere. Her husband’s family has come to be here for the baby’s upcoming birth and “help for a while,” and there has been a lot of commentary from the peanut gallery.
Too Many Cooks In The Kitchen
OP’s MIL and SIL have started descending on the kitchen and are “changing stuff around” when she’s cooking. It sounds like her husband may be in on this too, and it’s happening no matter what she’s cooking — whether it’s dishes from their native country or not.
Super Nitpicky
OP’s in-laws have started adding ingredients to recipes, but what really makes our blood boil is how they obsess over the temperature.
“They have started coming in and saying stuff like, ‘Oh that heat is too high/low for this meal,’ and they will change it,” OP wrote. Seriously?! How condescending and unnecessary.
“When my MIL/SIL cook they get all offended if I offer any suggestions,” OP continued. “My husband says to leave them alone because they know what they are doing. But he won’t give me the same courtesy.”
Getting Out
And so what has OP decided to do? Throw in the kitchen towel and let her family have at it whenever they decide to interfere.
“I will simply walk out and go on to the deck with a sweet tea and enjoy the sunshine until it is time to eat,” she explained. “Now they are complaining that I’m making them do all the cooking and just sitting there doing nothing.”
OP told them it was their choice to help. And what she knows, that her family clearly doesn’t, is that the heat on the stove is not worth fighting over.
“My husband says I’m being petty and vindictive but I told him he said to let them help. So I am.”
Meal For One
When OP was writing, she was sitting on the deck watching her family fight because she had walked out.
“They forgot about the roast [in the oven] and now it is dry AF,” she said. “I’m thinking I might go for a drive and grab a burger while I’m out.”
So, she asked, is she the a-hole here?
Go For It!
Reddit firmly agrees that OP is not the a-hole in this situation — and further, is all for this plan! “Go for your drive. No excuses, no apologies, enjoy your burger. They wanted to cook, they ruined dinner. They can eat it.”
“I also second the enjoying of the burger as you deserve a treat.”
“I am always in awe about these supposed family helpers that only stress out or depress the pregnant ladies in these stories … so good job OP for not letting them and finding you peace. Burger sounds about right.”
Like that Redditor said: While OP’s family eats their dry roast, they should take a moment to remember that causing OP stress while she’s pregnant is in no way “helping.” And no, she’s not being who her husband said she is.
“You are not being petty and vindictive, you are simply teaching a lesson about boundaries. If you were being petty, you would change all of the labels for the spices.”
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