I admit it, I take way too freakin’ long trying to decide what haircut to get. Like, way too long. Especially since I almost always just get “the usual” — AKA the same haircut I’ve gotten the last dozen times because the pressure of deciding on a new haircut was too much. And 12-year-old me? Forget it! She was poring over magazines and Google Images for a celebrity hairstyle she wanted to recreate, and it went on and on and on.
The only haircutting constant in my tween years was that I went to a hairdresser and a parent (usually my mom) was there with me. Partly because she had the car keys and the wallet, but also because no matter how many times young me looked at Hilary Duff’s new haircut, Mom was there to make sure everything was OK. To speak up for me if it looked like I was changing my mind, to question me if I asked for something spontaneously, and to just generally oversee the head she birthed. Need I say more?
Well, according to a post on the “Am I The A—hole” subreddit, one mom did not get a chance to be with her son when he got a haircut because she didn’t know that every playdate comes with a cut and color … on the [friend’s] house.
A mom posted on Reddit to ask if she was an AH for cutting and coloring someone else’s kid’s hair, and the internet wants her to cut it out.
So What Happened?
The woman who originally posted (the OP) said she asked her 12-year-old son if he wanted her to buzz his hair before his dad picked him up. She asked this while his best friend Aaron was over, but she said she could do it while they continued to play video games.
“When I was done with my son, I asked Aaron if he’d like to even out his bob,” OP wrote. “His hair was like Kurt Cobain’s.”
Taking It A Step Further
Aaron said he didn’t want her to fix his “Kurt Cobain hair.” Rather, he wanted to get it short like OP’s son. “I said I could do that instead,” OP wrote. “He said okay. I even let him put in some color.”
So, just in case you missed that or think you read that wrong, yes, she did give her son’s friend a major cut and a color.
Getting A Call
OP dropped Aaron off a couple hours later. To no one’s surprise, she then got a call from his parents asking why she cut his hair. She misunderstood and thought they were excited, saying, “Isn’t it great that you can see his eyes now?”
“They said no, I had no business cutting his hair,” OP continued. “I said I was surprised because Aaron is way old enough to groom his hair. They said I should have asked. I said it’s hard to have a talk with people who think 12-year-old boys should get permission to style their hair.”
So What Does Reddit Think?
Stop! It’s time to unplug the clippers and cut it out. How could this mom possibly think it was OK to cut Aaron’s hair without his parents’ permission — and not even just a trim, but a full-on drastic style change? How did she at no point think of calling his mom and dad while taking out the hair dye?
We can’t quite put our finger on what exactly is wrong with this, but she’s not a hairdresser and the fact that she didn’t confirm with them just crosses a parental boundary. Reddit agrees that even if 12 years old is old enough to know what you want, his parents deserved a text.
“You don’t take liberties with someone else’s kid like that. That’s common sense. You’re not the kid’s parent. You can’t make decisions for him.”
“OP just trashed their son’s relationship with their best friend. I doubt Aaron will be allowed over to OP’s home again.”
“Ummm, as much as I agree that a 12 y.o. is old enough to decide how to wear their hair, as an adult who’s volunteering to cut and color that hair, you have to get the parents’ permission.”
“My 12-year-old is fully in charge of what happens to his body. However, I would be pissed if an adult decided to do that without discussing it with me first. My son has anxiety and often feels pressured into situations just like this because an adult has the authority.”
“There’s no way you’ve had a child walk the Earth for that long and would do something this egregious with someone else’s child.”
“I would never trust you with my kid again. You have HORRIBLE judgment. You did not have permission to touch that child. You did not have permission to cut his hair. You CERTAINLY did not have permission to put dye in his hair.”
“If just the cut it would be borderline but you put color in it too? That should be up to the parent plus people can have allergic reactions to color. I’d flip the f*ck out if you colored my sons hair.”
“Seriously????? You didn’t even stop to think???”
And our favorite: “YTA,” one commentor wrote, “and not the cool mom you think you are.”
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