Playdates can be a lifesaver during the summertime. It’s a great way to keep your kid entertained for a few hours and maintain friendships while school is out. But one dad on Reddit is being called a “bully” for his incredibly controlling playdate rule, and we are ready to kick him to the curb!
In the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit, a mom wrote about her husband’s weird behavior during their 12-year-old son’s playdates with a girl. The mom explained that the playdates usually happen at their house because the girl’s parents both work during the day. The dad’s issue? He doesn’t like that his son’s friend speaks Spanish.
He Doesn’t Want His Son’s Friend to Speak Spanish
“She’s Hispanic and she sometimes says things in Spanish,” the mom explained about her son’s friend. “Whenever she says anything in Spanish my husband will ask her what she said, even if she’s in an entirely different room.” Weird, right? It’s like he eavesdrops on conversations just so he can call her out every time she speaks Spanish. It’s rude and even racist.
The mom gave an example of a time she was in the living room with the kids and her husband was in the kitchen. “She said something in Spanish, and he came out of the kitchen and asked her to repeat herself and explain the translation,” she wrote. “I felt so embarrassed. She looked confused, and it was just so awkward. She wasn’t talking to him, why does it matter?” Exactly — Why. Does. It. Matter? This is just super strange behavior.
As if this dad wasn’t enough of a jerk, he took it to the next level when his wife called him out for his problematic actions.
“I told him today that I would like him to stop, and he looked at me like I was crazy,” she wrote, and we are ready to punch a wall. Of course he is going to try to turn this on his wife. “He said we should know what the kids are saying in our house,” she continued. “I said it was embarrassing, and he asked me if I was seriously worried about what a twelve year old thought of us? I came away from the conversation feeling really stupid.” This man is so frustrating. The mom is trying to stick up for this girl and the uncomfortable situation, and her husband is making her feel stupid. We are so done with this loser!
Talking to the Dog
The mom gave more examples in the comments section about the Spanish phrases the friend uses.
“NTA that is super weird and controlling behavior on the part of your husband toward a child that isn’t his…” one person wrote, adding, “also is your child learning spanish? or is the friend talking to themselves?”
The mom explained, “They are usually just short phrases, occasionally a sentence. I think he has figured out some of the words she uses often. She calls our dog something like paritoe tantoe (no clue how it’s actually spelled) which she said means silly dog.”
So this girl is literally just hanging out and being herself, and the dad is coming through from the other room to make her explain herself? It’s not like she’s even talking to him and he’s asking her to clarify what she means. She’s just minding her own business, and the dad is so rude to her.
Reddit Is Ready to Say Adios to the Whole Man
In the comments section, everyone agrees that the husband is in the wrong.
“NTA. Your husband is being a bully,” someone said.
Another person commented, “The ‘we only speak English in this house’ vibes are a little bit racist. It’d be entirely different if he was asking for translations so he could understand the language better or encourage his own kid to learn a new language.”
Someone else pointed out the dad’s flaws: “He bullies a child for speaking her native tongue. he bullies her even though from context, she isn’t being rude or disrespectful. she’s just expressing her happy little kid feelings, and he HATES that. he bullies and makes YOU feel stupid and embarrassed when you dare to speak up.”
They added that all of these things makes him a misogynist, a racist, a bully, and a gaslighter. “HE has a problem with the child speaking Spanish but he turns it around to make it seem like YOU are the one who’s stupid to feel embarrassed in front of a child,” they said. “You are only questioning your reaction because your husband turned it around to make you the weirdo here or the bad guy.” The whole thing is so messed up!
“NTA. But ngl this is… very concerning,” another wrote. “Giving off white supremacy/English only in America vibes. I’d reflect on if you’ve noticed any other potential racist behaviors and address that.”
Another person said this entire situation would have been different if the dad actually cared about learning the language. “If he was talking to her later and said ‘oh, I heard you say something in Spanish a while ago! What did it mean?’ in a friendly, I’m-interested-in-your-language tone, that would actually be really kind and showing her she’s welcome in his home as she is, Hispanic and all else that makes her her,” they wrote. “But he’s aggressive and DEMANDING to know what’s being said as soon as she says it because he instantly assumes something negative.”
They added, “Do that to a 12 year old, he is telling her that her language is unwelcome in his home, that she should not speak Spanish, that her being Hispanic is a bad thing. He’s being a racist bully, a grown man bullying a 12 year old girl. NTA.”
We agree. It’s time to say adios to the whole man until he can address his racist, controlling behavior!
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