Losing a baby tooth is a major milestone in every kid’s life. Whether it falls out from them wiggling it nonstop with their tongue or finger, from chomping into an apple, or from being pulled out in standard sitcom fashion (with a string tied around the tooth and a doorknob and the door then being slammed shut).
No matter how it happens, it’s a rite of passage that is as exciting for the child as it is for the parent and the Tooth Fairy who now gets to make a very special visit. Well, it wasn’t so exciting — it was actually pretty infuriating — for a dad who joined the “Am I The A-hole” subreddit. One day after school, the man’s son came home with a gap in his smile. He was missing his front tooth!
The internet is not letting this dad off the hook, with many calling him out for downplaying his daughter's intelligence and damaging her self-esteem. https://t.co/vUA7ieflut
— SheKnows (@SheKnows) August 14, 2023
As far as the man who originally posted (the “OP”) remembered, the tooth was “a bit wiggly but not ready to be pulled.” OP asked his son what happened, and he said the school nurse pulled it out. He then showed his dad the little baggy that held his tooth, a prized possession that would later be put under his pillow.
“WTF?” OP asked Reddit.
How It All Started
OP emailed his son’s teacher, presumably to again ask “WTF?” The teacher said OP’s son was wiggling it a lot and so he asked if it was going to fall out.
“My son said he didn’t know and sent him to the nurse,” OP said. “He said he was expecting her to look and to call me if it was ready to come off.”
What Happened Next
Well, we know that call wasn’t made. “Instead, she pulled it out and my son was not comfortable with it,” OP said. “He said it hurt.”
OP’s Reaction
As you probably guessed, OP did not take this well. Especially since he never got a phone call. It didn’t matter to him that the nurse said she worried his son might swallow the “pretty loose” tooth.
“I spoke with her today and said she had ZERO business doing that,” he said. “…You are NOT a dentist and you caused him pain. She said she’s been a school nurse for years. I said then you should have known better and you’re a disgrace and unprofessional.”
A Step Further
OP then went to talk to the vice principal who said it is “NOT within a school nurse’s scope to pull teeth.”
“[The vice principal] was pissed off that the school nurse didn’t even send a note that he saw her which is standard,” OP said. “She did tell me I could have toned down the daddy bear a bit.”
And so, OP asked the internet, is he the a-hole for “telling the school nurse she’s not a dentist and reporting her?”
Some Redditors Say NTA
Some Redditors are backing OP up, saying the nurse was way out of line for taking this matter into her own hands. Some are even recommending he report her.
“I’m horrified on your son’s behalf! That is not OK in any way OP! 🤬”
“Hurting a kid like that for no good reason other than being able to exert control over someone (the whole I’ve been a nurse for blah blah blah years and I thought he’d swallow it just seems extra off for me) will mean that he might lie if it’s ever stuck rather than asking for help with it. Because TBH it always freaking hurts if someone pulls a tooth that’s not ready. The little bit that the tooth is still holding onto your body with is the damn nerve supply and maybe a little bit of other tissue so of course it hurts to go yanking it out or generally f*cking with it beyond wiggling.”
“NTA. I believe under common law, a school nurse can’t do that without express permission or in an emergent situation, which does not seem to apply here at all. Hope she learns from this, but sorry your son had to be the example that will teach her.”
“I’m gonna go with NTA. I’m a dentist and I wouldn’t pull out a kids’ tooth in my office without getting explicit consent from the parent first. Having said that, it is a baby tooth that by all accounts was well on its way out anyway.”
… But More Are Saying YTA
That said, most of Reddit is seconding the VP: Dad needs to take a chill pill!
“I think pediatric nurses are fairly capable in this regard. Lost teeth always hurt a little and are uncomfortable, but the dude’s not traumatized by it. If anything he’s likely more traumatized by your overreaction to this.”
“Wow, this post is full of ridiculous a-holes itself. People screaming, ‘FILE A LAWSUIT, FILE COMPLAINTS WITH THE BOARD OF NURSING, IT’S ASSAULT’ are batsh*t crazy. It was a loose baby tooth, YTA, OP.”
“What? Every parent in this world helps their kid lose their baby teeth, not many of them are dentists. Even if the nurse should have contacted you before, it’s not that bad that he got it out, you would have pulled it out anyway at home.”
“YTA. You don’t need to be a dentist to help a kid with a loose baby tooth. She’s the school nurse. Have some respect. If a dentist was needed, she would have called one. If a janitor had done it, I might have been a bit miffed but to yell at a school nurse like that makes you TA. This is not a major medical procedure, you should have thanked the nurse for helping him out and making sure he got the tooth. Otherwise, he might have eaten it with his lunch, or accidentally swallowed it and that can actually cause harm. ‘She caused him pain’ – we’ve all survived the trauma of losing our baby teeth — few of us had a nurse around when it happened, calm down.”
“YTA If you are getting so distraught over petty crap, how are you going to handle real issues? All kids lose their baby teeth. Get a grip.”
“Do you plan on going to the dentist every time he has a loose tooth?”
“I agree with one of the comments saying school staff will probably hate you now and the kid will have a reputation of being the child of an over-bearing helicopter parent. It’s a freaking baby tooth, calm your tits.”
“Speaking as a professional nurse, it was a loose baby tooth and you have (I assume) zero medical experience to determine how ready it was to come out. The nurse technically overstepping her bounds does not change the fact that a loose baby tooth is not a big deal. Speaking as a random person, it’s a bloody baby tooth, pull your damn head in. What would have happened if the nurse had called you, would you have seriously taken the kid to a dentist for a loose baby tooth? The kid saying ‘it hurt’ means jack because it would have hurt for a few seconds at most like pulling a splinter out.”
“You should get the nurse publicly executed. Would only be right.”
It’s just a tooth, get over yourself.
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