There is always baby name drama on the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit. We thought we saw the most audacious one when this man “didn’t see the issue” with naming his baby after his ex. Yup. He and “Nancy” dated for around six years and broke up about two months before he met his wife. She then passed away two years later.
“It’s still painful to think about and I always imagined naming a child in her memory,” he said. “I also just love the name itself…When I made the suggestion to my wife she seemed unimpressed.”
…Color us SHOCKED.
But now we found something even weirder. One woman joined Reddit to ask “[Am I the a—hole] for calling my daughter’s father spineless and his girlfriend creepy over their name choice for their daughter?”
The woman who originally posted (the “OP”) explained that she got pregnant with her now 10-year-old daughter during a ” drunken hook-up with a friend in [her] mid-20s.”
“Not the most glamourous or flattering truth but it’s the truth all the same,” she wrote. “When we found out, we decided to keep the child and co-parent while remaining friends. We were never a couple and we didn’t want to be one either.”
But a recent decision could definitely put that co-parenting relationship on the line.
Here’s How It Started
About four years ago, OP’s co-parent started dating his long-term girlfriend who got pregnant recently. OP said she’s been as supportive as possible “without crossing any lines.”
“I’ve encouraged my daughter to help out whenever she’s staying with them during the pregnancy and to behave,” OP said. “I’ve also made it clear that I want the children to have a close relationship despite having different mothers.”
“I’ve even said that if they were comfortable with it on nights I have my daughter if they ever want time alone I’ll babysit once they have the baby so my daughter can spend time with her sibling,” OP continued. How sweet is that?
Sister Time
OP’s daughter has always wanted a sibling, so OP was excited for that to happen. The girlfriend recently gave birth to a baby girl and asked OP to bring her daughter to the hospital to meet her newborn sister.
The Shocking News
OP was “shocked” when she met the newborn because … plot twist! Her friend and his girlfriend gave her the same name as OP’s daughter.
Before we continue, we’ll pause to give you a chance to think about all the siblings you know who have basically the same name. The twins you know whose names are off by just one letter, etc.
All set?
*Returns to regularly scheduled programming*
“[The girlfriend] didn’t seem to have any issue with this when she introduced the baby bold as brass,” OP said. “My friend seemed uncomfortable and wouldn’t look at me directly. I asked them what they were playing at.”
“My friend told me to calm down and not overreact while his girlfriend told me she didn’t see the issue and it was a pretty name,” OP continued. “I asked them if they’d named the baby for my daughter, trying to understand the logic here, but his girlfriend said that no, it was just a pretty name she liked.”
You’re kidding … right?! Neither person in this relationship sees the problem here?
“I then asked if they planned to use a nickname or a middle name when addressing her on a daily basis and [the girlfriend’s] response was that she didn’t see a need for that.”
The Fall Out
OP told these new parents they were “ridiculous” and told the girlfriend she thought this was “frankly creepy.” While she was at it, she also called her friend/co-parent “spineless” for agreeing to letting both his daughters be named the same thing.
“He tried to claim our daughter could use a nickname or something but I shut that down immediately asking why it was more reasonable for a girl who has used that name for a decade to shame her name compared to a baby who had no concept of what a name was yet,” OP said.
Things only escalated from there. The girlfriend called OP a “b*tch” for speaking that way after she just gave birth. She then called the nurses in to take OP out for “being disruptive.”
“Maybe my temper is running a little too hot though and I was too harsh on her when she just gave birth,” OP said. “It’s just so f*cking weird.”
Editing Her Post
OP went back to edit her post as such:
“I’d also like to state, that I know that what they want to name their child is their choice. They could have called her ‘Dinosaur’ for all I care but this is one name that should be off-limits or adjusted, they even have the same surname as they have the same father … Something about it just felt malicious and deliberate as if she’s trying to replace my daughter and for them both to spring it on us like that at the first meeting? No that was weird.”
Reddit’s Response
So who does Reddit think is the a-hole here?
Certainly not OP! The post got more than 3.6K upvotes and nearly 1K comments from people who insisted the new parents were the a-holes.
“From the outside, it sure reads like she wants to replace her partner’s affection for his first daughter with his new baby. Of course it’s creepy.”
“And the suggestion that the 10-year-old should use a nickname? Wow. Talk about audacity.”
“They hid this for a reason. He was embarrassed for a reason. The same FIRST and LAST name is going to cause both those girls a lifetime of issues, especially with the same father. I usually would have a bit more sympathy for a woman who just gave birth but she seemed deliberately cold and cruel towards your daughter (her stepdaughter) to have done this.”
“This is a calculated move on the part of the gf, and your daughter’s dick of a father is too spineless to stand up to her. While no name can be claimed, this is a move full of hate and spite.”
“I am going to take a wild guess, that the GF had orchestrated the name reveal at the hospital intentionally to generate evidence and throw you out of the hospital and from the guy’s life. She knew her behavior, warrants a scene and she crafted a get-out-of-jail card even before committing the crime.”
“GF is trying to create some serious wedges between co-parent’s life with you, and her. And she’s succeeding. Sadly, your daughter is likely to pay for this with her relationship with her father.”
“This is ridiculous of them and will cause both girls issues with government paperwork for their whole lives going forward. They aren’t doing the new baby any favors here.”
“‘Please meet my daughters: Anna and Anna’ ‘What cute sister you have Anna! What’s her name? Also Anna?’ ‘Anna and Anna, do you want a drink?’ ‘In 20 years: Anna is coming over! Which one?’ This is so, so weird. On the same level as men naming their sons Prince 1, Prince 2 etc … Name the new baby Anna 2.0 or Also Anna in any conversations with your baby daddy. Just because it’s factually true.”
“Even if not intentionally malicious, it seems like a complete nightmare for the future including any kind of documentation, school enrollment, passports, and so on.”
WHAT?!
We assumed this would be a one-time crazy situation, but you know what they say about assumptions…
Just a month after originally posting this, we found another family on Reddit dealing with the same issue. A dad wanted to name his second daughter Serenity, just like his first daughter, and neither he nor his wife thought this was weird. WHAT?! Why is this a trend?!
Luckily, the first daughter got her grandparents involved and they convinced her dad to “back down.”
“His wife was pissed and she blamed me even though he said it was my grandparents who intervened,” Serenity said. “She said she knew I must have said I didn’t like it or something and whatever I did, I was a selfish little c*** because I took away her chance to name her child what she wanted. She said Serenity was a name she chose when she was little and always wanted to use it.”
WTAF?!
“What a selfish AH,” one Redditor said. “Please dont take whatever his garbage second wife says to heart. It had nothing to do with you, but it always had everything to do with him.”
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