A 16-year-old joined the “Am I The A—hole?” subreddit yesterday, looking for advice about a recent family vacation. And we always get worried when we see posts from teenagers and hear (usually) that their family members aren’t being supportive (sometimes literally). This teen explained that her parents are divorced and that a recent Disney debacle had one of her parents accusing her of “leading everyone on.”
The teen who originally posted (the “OP”) said that she used to “bounce between” her mom’s house and her dad’s house. Things have changed in the past year, and she’s started spending more time at her mom’s house. Her dad — unlike her mom — is remarried. OP’s stepmom and her dad have three kids together, ages 8, 6, and 4.
And it isn’t just more people that you’ll find in the dad’s house. “My dad’s house has more money and they go on more vacations than my mom can afford,” OP wrote, setting the stage for an unbelievable (and way too dramatic) tale of travel woes that got more than 4.3K upvotes and 500 comments on Reddit.
What Happened?
Like OP said, her dad is usually the one who can splurge on a family vacay. But this year, her mom was able to book a vacation for her and OP. The only problem? Dad was planning a family trip to Disney and the weeks overlapped.
“I wanted to go on vacation with Mom and I told Dad that Mom and I already had the plans,” OP said. “He said it was the first Disney vacation and he figured I wouldn’t want to miss out on my half siblings experiencing it for the first time. But this was the first vacation mom and I were able to do since I was 9.”
What’s The Issue?
Flash forward one month, and OP’s dad and stepmom have gone from “disappointed but understanding” to actually mad that OP went on vacation with her mom. They can’t believe the mom “didn’t sacrifice the vacation” so that her daughter could “enjoy seeing [her] siblings experience Disney for the first time.”
“They said they were sorry my mom denied me the opportunity to enjoy the amazing moment,” OP said. “I told them they were getting a bit carried away over it all and it wasn’t a big deal.”
“They said that given how important my siblings are to me it was a huge deal to make me miss out on those memories and experiences with them.”
What Does OP Think?
OP told her dad and stepmom that she “never cared” about seeing her half-siblings go to Disney for the first time.
“[I said] they are not such a huge deal in my life that I am feeling denied milestones for them,” OP said. “…I told them I might be older, but I would rather have memories with mom than them.”
Well, Dad and Stepmom did not take that very well and tried to guilt trip OP, telling her that her half-siblings “adore” her and that the siblings “believe [she thinks] the world of them too.”
“[My dad and stepmom said] the fact I admit to not feeling that way and not caring is a cruel thing,” OP said.
What Does Reddit Think?
Reddit thinks these parents are full of sh*t and that they never actually cared about their daughter seeing her siblings experience Disney for the first time. “Were they angry because they were actually expecting you to help with the kids?” the top comment — with more than 9.2K upvotes — asked. “That’s my bet too,” someone responded, getting 2.8K upvotes.
And the rest of the Redditors followed suit:
“Most rides don’t sit 5 in a row most are two so they end up with an extra kid they wanted OP there so they could all go on rides at the same time.”
“‘He figured I wouldn’t want to miss out on my half siblings experiencing it for the first time.’ Yeah. It has that tone that it’s the half-siblings it’s all about. And OP would be there to take care of them as the loving big sister. (More fancy way of saying free babysitter) He didn’t say, ‘I figured you wouldn’t want to miss out on a special family vacation.’ That would have set a whole other tone of wanting OP to have a magical time, too.”
“I mean, they don’t care about you having a special moment, why should you care about their kids having a special moment?”
“I am noticeably older than my younger siblings and I absolutely love them. I have never given a sh*t about being there for their firsts. I am a sibling, not a parent…Your dad and step are off the orbit. Besides, there are other feelings between ‘worshipping’ and ‘not caring.’ If you are not allowed those, no wonder you go with the latter.”
“You don’t need to see their reaction to Disney fo the first time. As a matter of fact, I can’t imagine a 16-year-old would be super psyched about spending time with kids that are 8/6/4 since the vacation would be all about them!”
“‘Oh no my unofficial unpaid babysitter has bailed on me, let me make you feel bad about it by using the kids emotions against you.'”
And this last comment has us agreeing that the parents need to think about changing their definition of an important moment: “This wasn’t their college graduation, it was Disney. I think they are being quite generous with what they consider a milestone.”
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