We’ve seen a lot of wedding guest list drama on the “Am I The A-hole?” subreddit lately. There was the case of the mother-in-law who secretly invited more than two dozen (!!!) people to her son’s wedding. And then there was the bride who left the internet stumped when she said she didn’t want to invite her sister who had a traumatic brain injury and might end up being a big “distraction” on the Big Day.
Now we’re dealing with a 49-year-old dad who is getting remarried in a month. The wedding planning has gone well, he said in his post on Reddit. “Except for one issue.”
“My fiancé’s family is mostly conservative and thus not very supportive of same-sex relationships,” he said, already setting off alarm bells.
The Guest List
So what’s the problem? Well, you’d think it would be that the fiancé’s family is bigoted, but no. That’s not what the man who originally posted (the “OP”) thinks is the problem. Instead, it’s that his son wants his boyfriend to be there.
“My fiancé’s siblings plan to bring their children to our wedding and they obviously wouldn’t want their kids to witness a gay couple at our wedding so then they’d need to explain the situation to them,” he continued. “So we decided to disinvite my son’s partner from our wedding so we could avoid such issues.”
Well, this decision to “avoid such issues” has created a giant issue that more than 17K Redditors are weighing in on.
The Ensuing Fight
OP thought his son would be “mature” about the situation and “understand” his dad and future stepmom’s side.
“But instead he kicked up a huge fuss about it, saying that I’m acting homophobic and embarrassed by him and that if his boyfriend can’t attend the wedding then he won’t either.”
The Uncertainty
Now OP isn’t sure if he handled the situation correctly and is looking to the internet for validation. He thinks his son is being “really unreasonable” especially since he and his boyfriend haven’t been together for a long time.
“So it’s not like he’s really entitled to be invited to any family events yet and my fiancé does take my side,” OP said. “However my son is vehement that I’m an asshole and even got his mom to essentially gang up on me about this issue.”
The Backlash
Reddit is tearing this “raging” a-hole and “sh*tty parent” to shreds.
“Your son is correct. You are homophobic. He’s not the immature one here. That would be you. Oh, they’re conservative? No sweetie, they’re homophobic AHs and you thinking it’s acceptable to cater to that sh*t makes you a homophobic AH as well.”
“Do you care more about your SON or some distant, homophobes you rarely see?”
“Like such an AH that I’m horrified for your son. You want to cut out your son’s partner by blaming other people’s homophobia. It’s disgusting and you should be ashamed.”
“The son was mature about it: he called out his dad’s BS and lack of support.”
“l hate the ‘How will I explain this to my kids’ argument and I hate even more that you caved to it, homophobes won. It’s a non-argument. Kids need no more explanation than that boys can love boys and girls can love girls, just like a boy and a girl can fall in love. That’s all there is to it. It’s not confusing and not contagious.”
“You made a major mistake and uninvited the wrong people. The bigots should be the ones told to not come, not your son’s partner.”
Louder for the people in the back! Which is hopefully where the bride’s family is seated. Way, way, way in the back. Far away from the groom’s son and his boyfriend. The two of whom better be getting not only an invite — but a major apology.
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