Normally we’d go into a whole thing about family vacation drama and all that can go wrong. But we have to go ahead and get this show on the road since this family has a flight they’re trying to book. And we all know how prices can change at any second. Earlier today, a woman joined the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA)” subreddit to get some advice about her parenting … and her boyfriend.
She and her boyfriend have been together for five years and are trying to organize their next holiday. Mr. Boyfriend has chosen a destination and is “so excited” about this family trip.
“We’re looking at flights that will likely be at least 9 hours long with business class flights, resort stay, and plenty of experiences,” the woman who originally posted (the “OP”) wrote. “He makes significantly more than me but we will split the cost of the holiday 50/50 including my child’s costs.”
Which all sounds well and good, except for the fact that they can’t agree on how to spend their money. And so now OP has turned to Reddit and is asking the question, “[Would I be the a-hole] if I left my [13-year-old] child in economy while we flew in business class?”
The Problem
So the deal is that OP’s boyfriend doesn’t want her kid to sit in the same class as them for the flight. It’s not that they can’t get three seats next to each other; it’s that he wants to be in totally separate sections.
“He thinks that my child should be grateful to be getting an international trip and just enjoy the movies and whatever other amenities there are on the flight.”
The Boyfriend’s Solution
So what does the boyfriend think would make this all fine?
“[He said] they can pop up and visit us whenever in business class,” OP said, to which commenters pointed out that’s not really how it works and that other ticket holders (and the flight crew) will get very annoyed.
“[My boyfriend also said] that it’s not worth the extra cost, even if he were a millionaire.”
Meanwhile, OP said she’d prefer to downgrade her flight to the economy section if her boyfriend is unwilling to split the cost of another business-class seat.
Now she wants to know if she’s being a helicopter parent and “stressing over something silly.”
“I feel like it’s weird to sit apart from my child for a 9+ hour flight, even if they’re comfortable enough on a plane,” she said. “[My boyfriend] thinks I’m being weird for wanting to make that concession and it’s not a big deal for child to fly alone.”
What’s The Boyfriend’s Deal?
OP eventually went back and edited her post to give more context for why her boyfriend is against this.
“He has a view that children might not appreciate the value of business class and that his parents went on business class while he flew economy on his own,” she said. “He absolutely wants to enjoy the business class for himself for the long haul on a nice plane.”
“He’s fine with me sitting in economy also or bumping up my child at my own cost. Even though he disagrees morally and thinks I’m being kind of silly, he would accept it.”
But!
OP also felt the need to leave a p.s. saying that finances aren’t normally an issue, saying her boyfriend has spent “plenty of money and time” on her child for birthdays and the likes.
Reddit’s Reaction
OK, so to answer the original question: Yes, OP would be an a-hole if she went along with her boyfriend’s plan. But the clear AH here is the boyfriend! Thousands of Redditors are getting in on the conversation and pointing out all the problems and red flags.
“YWBTA if you travel in a different class from your child. Yes, a 13-year-old can travel in a different class fine. Heck, they could travel alone. But there’s just something unsettling about a parent being on the same flight but in a different seat class.”
“It’s unsettling because it’s planned. If it happened unintentionally I think everyone could roll with it. But deliberately putting your 13-year-old far away from you because it’s a waste of money is very unsettling.”
“Sit in economy with your kid. Let your boyfriend sit in business class alone. If you start letting him exclude your kid he will think it’s okay and continue pushing that boundary.”
“If ‘it’s not worth the extra cost,’ there’s no reason for any of you to be in business class.”
“‘Family’ trip … Sounds like your BF would rather have your kid stay at home.”
“While I’m all for letting children earn their privileges because that gives them a self of accomplishment and teaches them to make decisions early on, this ain’t it chief. That’s like going on a family trip by car but letting your kid ride the bus instead because he won’t be able to appreciate the leather seats on my Mercedes.”
“As a human person, a woman, and a mother … what the actual f*ck are you doing here? You need to take a step back and really take a look at the 500 red flags you just danced around while telling this story.”
Because it’s about so much more than the boyfriend being stingy. It’s about him thinking it’s OK to exclude a child and leave them in an unfamiliar environment just for his own comfort and to teach some kind of BS lesson.
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