There are a lot of ways that significant others should — and often must — step up when their partner is pregnant. Because, ya know, it’s hard to do other things when their body is busy making and housing another human. So yes, partners may need to take on more household responsibilities, become a chauffeur of sorts, rearrange their schedules so they are able to make it to doctor appointments, and change their eating habits. Because both physically and mentally, they will likely need a hand.
A pregnant woman recently joined the “Am I The A—hole? (AITA)” subreddit to talk about the status of her pregnancy and how it impacted a recent outing with her husband. She and her husband, both of whom are in their 30s, have been married for 8 years now. They have two kids — ages 6 and 4 — and this woman who originally posted on Reddit (the “OP”) is currently 7 months pregnant with Baby No. 3.
“This has been by far my worst pregnancy,” she said. And that, my friends, is what ultimately led her to ask, “AITA for making my husband leave a wedding reception with me?”
The Worst Pregnancy
Again, OP said this has been the most difficult pregnancy she’s had. Thankfully, she and the baby are healthy overall.
“But the general fatigue and discomfort of being pregnant while also having 2 other kids to take care of is wearing on me,” she said. “I’ve also had more nausea and terrible heartburn.”
Hubby’s Responsibilities
Just like we talked about, OP’s husband has had to take on more household and childcare duties — which he should!
“He’s been great about it and things are still running smoothly even though I can do about 1/3 of the household and kid stuff I usually do,” OP said.
Parents’ Night Out
Over the weekend, OP and her husband went to a wedding for one of her friends.
“My husband knows a lot of people in this friend group and he was really looking forward to some adult social interaction,” she said.
OP said she felt fine until halfway through the reception when she “hit a wall energy-wise and started getting terrible heartburn.”
Reception Woes
Needless to say, things didn’t go too well.
“My husband was off mingling with people while I pretty much just sat at a table for over an hour talking with whoever came by to say hi,” OP said. “My husband came over to check on me and I told him that I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to leave.”
Catching a Ride
OP’s husband asked her if she would be willing to take the shuttle back to the hotel they had booked so that he could stay.
“I told him I want him to come back to the room with me in case I start feeling worse so that he can take care of me,” OP said. “He didn’t protest or argue with me, but he did give a big sigh in the ‘Ugh, OK fine’ kind of way.”
When they got back to the room, OP immediately fell asleep.
The Inevitable Fight
OP said her husband was “short with her” all morning. When she finally confronted him, he said he was “frustrated” that she “made” him go back to the room. If he knew she would just go to bed, he said he would’ve stayed at the reception.
“He said that this was the first social interaction he’s had in months and with the new baby coming, will probably be his last social interaction like that for months again.”
OP insisted that she didn’t “make” him come back. She just told him she wanted him in case things got worse.
“I also told him my health should be his priority over any social event anyway. He said that wasn’t really giving him a choice because if he stayed, even if I fell asleep right away like I did, I would still hold it against him that he ‘chose wrong.'”
“He said he was just enjoying behaving like an adult instead of a dad for one night and he’s allowed to be frustrated that was cut short. It might just be hormones, but his attitude is making me feel guilty about this.”
WTAF?
Reddit can not deal with OP and the whole “I didn’t make him” BS.
“‘I told him that I didn’t ‘make’ him come back with me, I just told him I wanted him to in case I felt worse. I also told him my health should be his priority over any social event anyway.’ – imagine writing that but not seeing what it means….”
“You had heartburn, ffs. You weren’t dying. You ruined his night, and it sounds like you did it out of jealousy and selfishness.”
“…[You] didn’t make him but you sure applied a ton of emotional pressure to get the outcome you wanted … Clearly this event was meaningful to him — and his reasons are valid.”
“You had heartburn. What exactly would ‘taking care of you’ entail?”
“You should take care of him, starting by showing a little concern for his emotional wellbeing.”
“I laughed out loud at the end when she decided it’s the hormones making her feel guilty! Nope, sorry hun, it’s your selfish behavior that should be making you feel guilty!”
The Solution
So what should OP have done? There was no reason for her to stay and suffer, but she should have just left quietly and remembered her husband would be very accessible even if he wasn’t right by her side
“You are a big girl and could’ve taken the shuttle to the hotel. If you started to feel worse you could’ve called him. Seems like this night meant a lot to him and you couldn’t care less. Yes, you are pregnant but it doesn’t mean he is there to be your handmaid. You ruined his night, YTA.”
“You should have let him stay and have some adult time. If an emergency arose that required his assistance, there is a marvelous invention called a *cell phone.* You could have easily called him if you needed him.”
It really is unfortunate that both of their experiences were ruined when it could have been fixed by just having OP turn his ringer on.
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