If you’ve never gone down the rabbit hole that is the “Am I The A-hole? (AITA?)” subreddit on Reddit, it’s a dumpster-fire-of-a-place that’s filled with people of all ages who vent about the latest drama and arguments in their lives to find out who is objectively the a-hole in the situation.
Usually, it’s pretty clear who majorly effed up. And believe us when we say that Redditors are not afraid to hold back their criticisms. They will quickly jump on the person who originally posted (the “OP”) if they are the AH, or they will rush to their defense if it’s the person(s) in their lives who owe them a huge apology.
They also like to offer advice on how to solve the problem. Sometimes it’s pretty legit (and they even throw legal options out there), but we low-key live for the hilariously petty solutions.
Anyway!
Sometimes it’s not so clear who is the jerk. There might be more nuance and yes, more than one person can be a sh*thead in a situation. That’s when Redditors turn against each other, trying to duke it out in the comments over who should be ashamed. Other times, they will hand out a verdict of “ESH” or “Everyone Sucks Here.” These are six such times when multiple villains were to blame — read on, then form your own opinion!
To Swim Or Not To Swim
We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again, family gatherings and potty training are two things that can be a total pain in the a** (quite literally for that second one). OP explained that her older sister “Ava” hosted a family barbecue and wouldn’t let OP’s 3-year-old son swim with his cousins because she doesn’t think it’s “hygienic” for him to go in the pool “since swim diapers don’t hold pee.” He would have to wait until he’s potty trained, Ava insisted.
Redditors were treading water at totally different ends of the pool when it came to this disagreement. (Read the whole thing here.)
Those on Team Ava were saying things like, “All the people that say, ‘But there are chemicals to clean it,’ piss in a cup, then ask how much chemicals need to be added to the cup before they would dump that glass of piss on their head.’ It’s just f*cking gross.”
Meanwhile, those on Team OP said, “Imagine inviting a 3-year-old to a pool party and telling him he can’t swim, he can watch the other kids. Wtf? If I knew one of my children wouldn’t be allowed to swim, I never would have brought them to a pool party.”
As well as things like, “Do these people even go in lakes and oceans where bugs and snakes and fish and all kinds of other sh*t f*ck each other, piss/sh*t everywhere, and f*cking die and rot away?… kids that aren’t fully potty trained get in pools all the time. Guess what? We still live.”
Who Should Be Invited?
Wedding guest lists are a common topic of debate on Reddit, and this one got messy. The OP was fighting with her mom over whether or not her sister should be invited to her wedding. You see, OP’s sister “Anna” tragically suffered a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and “sometimes throws tantrums like a moody teen.”
“I do love and care about her, but the easiest way to explain it is that she can sometimes act like a child,” OP said. “I’ll put it bluntly, I don’t want Anna to attend the wedding. Mom would be hovering over her (I know this might sound selfish to some but I just want mom to be there for me for one day) and she might be distracting during the ceremony or reception.”
OP’s mom was horrified that her daughter wouldn’t invite her sister and was even more upset when OP suggested getting Anna a room in a nearby hotel so her mom could easily check on her.
Now OP’s mom is calling her a “selfish brat” and OP is considering uninviting her mom too.
Those who think OP is the AH are saying, “Leaving [your sister] out because of something she can’t help that’s completely out of her control is horrible and really is ableist behavior to me.” And, “This is one of those times where I just can’t understand wedding culture. You would rather not have your family at your wedding — both your sister and apparently your mother — than have a less-than-perfect day? It’s your wedding, not your inauguration as the goddess of all existence.”
On the other side, people are saying, “It’s not selfish to want your parents’ attention for one day. To be fussed over. To have special moments with your mom and dad. I think every child wants this. I don’t know how long ago your sister’s accident was but it sounds like your mom has to focus all her attention in your sister. That you don’t get the one one-on-one time with her like you want. It’s ultimately your wedding. You’re able to invite whomever you want.”
Read the whole story (and some conveniently omitted details) here.
Can He Get A Light?
Though public marijuana usage is becoming legal in more and more states, the social rules are still up for debate. One man posted on Reddit to vent about a pregnant woman’s husband asking him to put out his joint.
“I told them both it’s a show,” OP said. “’You came here, you can choose to leave.’ He tried to cause a scene but nothing happened since I just ignored them both and danced.”
So what’s the proper smoking etiquette in this situation?
Well, some thought the pregnant couple needed to get out and get over themselves, saying things like, “People [are] all on their high horses about secondhand smoke, but with some concerts you just have to be realistic. If 90% percent of the crowd is lighting up, then the pregnant lady had to know what she was getting into.”
Others said he was a total jerk when there are plenty of other ways to get high. “Take an edible, smoke before you come in, bring a vape and hit it outside if you must. So many options these days besides forcing someone else and their unborn fetus to inhale it too.”
Read the whole story here.
The Great Caregiving Debate
This post (read the whole thing here) actually originated in the parenting subreddit, and it got the internet arguing over whether or not grandparents who babysit their grandchildren should be compensated. and yeah, there were a lot of strong opinions.
“My parents don’t [ask to be paid],” OP said. “But it always boggles my mind that this is something that actually happens in some families … Do these types of grandparents not consider the time spent with their grandchildren valuable and beneficial to them as well as the parents…It seems to me the time spent babysitting is a mutual favor for the parents and the grandparents.”
“To me, [a grandparent asking to be paid for babysitting] is no different than a wife expecting her husband to give her money every time they have sex, just because prostitutes are paid for the same job,” OP continued.
To which Redditors asked, “WTF?”
“Comparing babysitting to sex is weird.” “You lost me on comparing babysitting to prostitution.”
Those on OP’s side said things like, “I would find paying the grandparents for a random date night every once in a while odd because family does favors for each other occasionally.”
On the other hand, people said, “Your parents do not OWE you free childcare! Believe it or not, adults over the age of 60 have lives, friends, hobbies, part-time jobs, and have earned their time to relax. Caring for kids is damn hard work and they should not be guilted into doing it because ‘they’re the grandparents’ or being accused of not wanting to spend time with their grandkids.”
How Should They Communicate?
One blended family on Reddit is struggling to communicate, and we mean that quite literally. The OP has a 17-year-old daughter who hates her 7-year-old stepsister who is Deaf and uses American Sign Language (ASL). The teen has refused to learn any signs, even when she was asked to babysit her sister.
Things escalated quickly, with the husband using an ultimatum of divorce and OP threatening to kick her daughter out. It was a lot, and Redditors found themselves going in circles over this one.
“Your daughter is TA because she misplaces her frustration and emotional discomfort of your new marriage on her step-sister. … Your husband is TA because he threatens you with divorce over this. … You are TA because you throw your daughter under the bus for marriage’s sake and threaten to kick her out.”
Menstrual Madness
The OP here is a dad in the midst of a messy divorce. His tween was staying with him when she got her first period, and a lot of Redditors think he handled it well.
“I grew up with sisters and I am not a complete idiot, so I had read up on what to do,” he wrote. “I had also talked to my mom and sisters about it. I had been prepared since she was 8. I gave her the boxes of pads and tampons. I explained to her that it was normal and healthy. I watched a video with her that was a tutorial on what to do. I also asked her if she would like to talk to either my sister or the woman I’m seeing about how to do everything right.” He then let his daughter ask her aunt any other questions.
Well, OP’s ex-wife is pissed that he “excluded her from a milestone” in their daughter’s life.
Some people think the mom needs to calm down and rein it in, telling OP, “You handled the situation very well and managed to teach your daughter everything she needed to know, as well as redirecting her to people who could also advise her. I don’t see the need for you to have immediately gone to tell your ex about her first period, especially considering that it was already happening, although it might have been nice if you told her after you figured it out.”
Others think he made a pretty significant misstep. “You could have thrown in ‘do you want to call your mom?’ when you threw out your sister’s name … Kids know when their parents have such a contentious relationship, and while you say you don’t limit contact I have to wonder, based on the disdain you have for your ex-wife, if she felt she could call her without you getting upset or hurt.”
All we can hope for is that the former couple came to a consensus before their daughter’s next cycle. Read the whole story here.
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