When an expectant mom is giving birth, other members of her family or village tend to step up and help at the hospital, or around the house, or wherever they are most needed. As they should! (If able.) Because that mom is busy being in labor or surgery and it’s hard to do the dishes that were left in the sink when you’re dilated. Ya know?
A woman on the “Am I The A-hole (AITA)?” subreddit yesterday talked about when she gave birth to her “beautiful son” a week ago. (Congrats mama!) Unfortunately, she said, “there were some complications.” So she stayed at the hospital several days longer than most new moms do.
“When my water initially broke, my husband and I were at home and I happened to be standing on my bedroom carpet,” the woman who originally posted (known as the “OP” on Reddit) said. “Cleaning was obviously not the priority, so I threw some towels down and we left for the hospital.”
Because duh!
While at the hospital, OP’s 59-year-old mother-in-law “kindly offered” to feed her son and daughter-in-law’s dogs. “And we were very appreciative of her help,” OP said.
What they were not so appreciative of, is what they came home to find.
What They Found
When OP was finally discharged, she and her husband returned home with their newborn and saw that her MIL had left a receipt and note on the fridge saying she had cleaned the bedroom carpet and wanted to be reimbursed.
Yes, you read that right. A receipt.
More Charges
She had also decided to clean the rest of the house and wanted to be paid $25/hour for cleaning plus the $200 she spent on cleaning supplies.
“Now, while it was nice of her to clean my carpet and then the rest of my house, neither of us asked her to do this,” OP wrote.
What Happened Next
OP’s husband texted his mom and started out by thanking her for her help with the dogs. But then came the [rightful!] sass.
“We noticed your note and receipt on the fridge, and are a little upset you took it upon yourself to 1. snoop through the house, as neither of us had told you about [OP’s] water’s breaking in the bedroom, 2. go out and buy hundreds of dollars worth of cleaning products, and then 3. charging us for your time and the aforementioned products.”
A Good Point
“We would also like to ask where these cleaning products are,” he said. “If we are paying for them, we would certainly like to get our money’s worth.”
Reminder
Let’s not forget that the only thing this MIL was supposed to do was watch the dogs.
“When we entrusted you with the dogs, we really thought you were helping us out of the [goodness] of your heart and not giving you an opportunity to make a quick buck. We are family and are hurt you would do something like this while [OP] was so unwell.”
MIL’s Response
His mother’s response was immediate. She said she did this “out of the kindness of her heart” and that she can’t believe he and OP would be “so ungrateful.”
“I have also received some texts from extended family members saying that MIL didn’t have to help me, but did do so despite ‘her advanced age’ out of love,” OP said.
Another reminder: She’s 59.
The Next Step
OP felt the need to turn off her phone so she wouldn’t have to deal with all the messages.
“My husband is still getting a lot of hate from his family because we are ‘manipulating the situation’ and making MIL the bad guy when she was only trying to get the house ready for the baby.”
The Husband’s Plan
OP’s husband is suggesting they just get it over with and pay his mother “to get the extended family off our back and just enjoy this time as new parents.” But as OP says — and we agree! — “I am not okay with paying his mom for anything!”
MIL’s Offer
The MIL was feeling very generous *eye roll* in a recent text to her son.
“[She said] she would be happy to gift us the products (i.e. take it off our bill), but she would still like to be paid for her time given that she dealt with ‘a biohazard.'”
Now OP wants to know if she is being the a-hole for not paying up.
Reddit’s Response
Reddit has unanimously said she is “NTA” (not the a-hole), and they are pretty furious at the MIL. They also kept sharing stories of people in their village actually doing things out of the goodness of their hearts so OP understands that her MIL is truly outrageous.
“It’s only help if the recipient actually wants it,” said the top comment with 4.6K upvotes. “Otherwise, it’s imposing yourself on them. Charging for it is only doubling down on the problem because now it’s forcing unwanted commercial services on you. If she’d done it out of the kindness of her heart, the most she could possibly ask for is the cleaning supplies, because that’s the only thing she is out financially (and I’d be giving even that the side-eye). The kindness of one’s heart doesn’t come with a price tag.”
“I hope you and your husband discuss setting up very hard boundaries with his family and protecting your child. Congrats on the new baby! Enjoy the cuddles while you can!”
“I am completely gobsmacked by the audacity of your MIL. Your husband had the right idea with the text he sent to her after she left a bill on the fridge. She waaaaay overstepped her bounds by doing what she did. I know Reddit has the tendency to go nuclear about things like this, but I’d temporarily block MIL and her flying monkeys until you have the mental and physical capacity to really deal with her.”
“NTA. To the flying monkeys: ‘This is none of your business. Back off and stop contacting us.’ Then block them. To MIL: ‘If you truly did this out of the kindness of your heart you wouldn’t charge us. We will not be paying you one cent and you will never be alone with our child because we can’t trust you.'”
“Watch out. She will ‘offer’ to spend time with the baby and then charge you $25 an hour for babysitting.”
Of course, our favorite part is always the hilarious solutions:
“If OP were petty, she could host the in-laws over for dinner and then charge them for the meal. It’s the same situation but reversed IMO. Do a nice roast and sides, restaurants could charge double the costs of just the food. Then you can charge labor on the cooking as well.”
And with that, there’s really only one thing left to say: Bon appétit!
Leave a Comment