Parenting is complicated, and everyone has a different way of doing it. It’s so interesting to see how different couples manage parenting duties for their kids — especially when they have unique ways split things equally. Zoe Saldaña recently explained how she and her husband Marco Perego-Saldaña do it with their three boys.
The Avatar star is mom to Zen, 6, and twins Cy and Bowie, 8. She and her producer and director husband take turns being the main parent for their sons.
Splitting Parenting Duties
Saldaña told PEOPLE that they are “constantly adjusting and readjusting” as parents and are “very honest with each other about what your bandwidth feels like it can be.”
“Certain seasons, I’m the one that may be taking over all of the domestic operations so that my husband can mentally break away and focus on his creativity,” she said. “And other seasons when I go completely back into work mode, then we’re switching off.”
“I don’t think it’s ever an even share of the load, which is why I think it’s important to be absolutely transparent with your bandwidth and where you are and how you’re doing,” she continued. “But love comes with everything, so it’s always with the understanding that, ‘Today for you, tomorrow for me,’ and we’ve been constantly in that back and forth.”
Sometimes we think of balance as something that has to be completely equal every single day, but Saldaña and her husband have a different way of looking at it. They go back and forth carrying most of the parenting load, and that’s a totally valid way of doing things, too!
Teaching Her Sons to ‘Celebrate Their Feminine Self’
The Guardians of the Galaxy star also strives to teach her sons how to take care of themselves.
“We are here to set very big tones for them in life on how to be, how to react, how to regulate, how to repair, how to heal, how to stand up for yourself,” she told PEOPLE. “So they’re going to be constantly mirroring what you do, knowing that you’re being observed at all times.”
“It definitely makes you a lot more mindful than you have ever been in your whole entire life,” she added.
One specific thing Saldaña is mindful of? To teach her sons to “honor themselves, their femininity, to celebrate their feminine self as well.”
“We’re very hard on our boys the same way we’re hard on women,” she said. “And boys are encouraged to be strong and to suppress their emotions. And then once you learn to do that so much for so long, you become completely excommunicated from your feelings. We definitely understood the assignments and accepted it knowing that we were raising boys during a time when women’s movements are so important.” Yes, queen! We love to see it.
Parenting Is Like Running a Business
In a previous interview with Ebony, Saldaña compared parenting to being an entrepreneur.
“Being a mom is definitely like running a business for sure — and it’s a business with some pretty tough customers too,” she said. “But like any mom or parent can attest, it’s all a juggling act… I make the conscious effort [to] make time for my boys and myself.”
We can all take notes from her!
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